Wife wants divorce, advice on my financial position

Guest101

snakebyteuk wrote: »

Thank you for all the advice, very much appreciate everyone taking the time to offer their advice on the matter.

As far as "why £2k a month" - because the bills (household) came to around £1100 including the mortgage, there were then 2 cars at roughly £350 each and insuraances etc, hence £2k a month and i covered the lot.

What did she spend her wage on? Generally clothes and shoes if i'm honest, but i never minded, a mug? maybe, but i earned a lot more and needed very much less in terms of material items to keep me happy, i'm a simple bloke!

Everyone keeps telling me to leave the house but the only bit of actual legal advice i received from a solicitor in the family was to stay put and under no circumstances leave the property as it could and would be detrimental, not sure how or why but thats the advice i was given.

I will be booking to appoint a solicitor this week and hopefully get the ball rolling, following registering my interest with the land registry.

Horrible situation, i will learn from my mistakes, i guarantee it, just a very expensive mistake to make but we do all make them.

If you stay, you are showing that you consider the property yours. If you go, she may claim you abandoned it.

If you stay, she may start claiming domestic abused, and get legal aid and get you removed, and you could get arrested.

lesson learnt buddy.

littlemiss_pretty

Just seek advice from another solicitor about living in the same house as she might make some other claims against you. Did she only give you the reason "she doesn't feel the same anymore" or is there more to it?

I hope it all gets sorted for you. Keep us updated and stay strong.

snakebyteuk

Yes she simply said she doesnt feel the same anymore, nothing more to it from either side, big shock but shes adamant it's over so i'm not going to beg and plead i'll find someone who wants to be with me for me. I do have my suspicions her eye may have been drawn elsewhere and to be fair, maybe she will learn from this, the grass isn't always greener and shes had a free ride for years, i doubt there are many blokes who have done what i've done (for good reason) - i really hope when the real world hits her and she has to start paying bills she grows up.

Thank you for the good wishes, I will get through it and move on with my life, no point wallowing around, at least i'm entitled to something back for such a massive investment, no-one plans on getting divorced but these things do happen and its one of those things.

misspickle_2

You've stated to us that you can prove anything you have put into the house financially.

Correct?

PlutoinCapricorn

I found a lot of relevant posts online for my friend - he said that he could have written some of them himself - and everyone agreed that begging and pleading definitely do not work. Once someone has decided that they can get a better deal elsewhere, the marriage is dead. Worse yet, you have all the trouble, expense and stress of fighting for your rights. I think it is criminal, and the easy divorce laws favour women who get bored.

misspickle_2

Change your solicitor.

If she has met someone else then she will come out with tactics. It will get messy and expensive. Which is probably what this solicitor was hoping :think:

Find another one

PlutoinCapricorn

Snakebyte, when you mentioned greener grass, it reminded me of something I found online and sent to my friend in the hope it would make him feel a little better:

"I am so full of regrets. My first husband was such a good man, he worked hard, provided, treated me with respect and care and gave me freedom and trust. I was very young, and thought that the grass was greener. So we split up.
He has now remarried with more kids,good job, own house and v.happy.
While I got stuck with a violent,alcoholic, abusive loser.
I am so jealous and bitter of the life I would have had if I stayed with my first husband.
I could kick myself for throwing a good life away in pursuit of excitement. I will probably be alone for a long time now and will never find a man as decent.
How do i live with these regrets?"

snakebyteuk

My bank statements prove everything down to the penny. I havent appointed a solicitor yet, i asked a family friend who's a solicitor who told me to stay put in the house.

Guest101

snakebyteuk wrote: »

My bank statements prove everything down to the penny. I havent appointed a solicitor yet, i asked a family friend who's a solicitor who told me to stay put in the house.

All well and good, but any rows? What's the sleeping arrangement? ( without sordid details)

snakebyteuk

Guest101 wrote: »

All well and good, but any rows? What's the sleeping arrangement? ( without sordid details)

I generally sleep on my left side but more recently it's comfortable on my stomach.

We are in seperate double bedrooms and no rows at all, very amicable, it is strange looking at the woman ive spent the last 7 years with and thinking who are you? But other than that, no hostility, she wants to keep the house which is fine and she agrees that i should get the money i've paid into it back, again fine, however she cannot raise the capital due to her low salary. She did go to see the bank about releasing some equity to pay me off so i can go start again and they basically said its impossible, since buying the house shes moved jobs onto even less money so they just wont give her anything.

The problem is, she isnt willing to sell the house off her own back to pay me, which is why i think its going to have to go to court for them to order for it to be sold to reimburse me. If she cant afford it she cant afford it, i dont really want to do that but shes tried various options in terms of raising funds to "get rid of me" as it was, and they have all failed.