Wife wants divorce, advice on my financial position

fivetide

Would she leave?


She can't afford to live there, full stop. Perhaps she should go live with someone else....?


Basically, can you get the credit now? Hopefully you are earning easily enough to have done a lot of good things with your credit score and can show you are capable of paying.


To that end, can you make her an offer less what she owes you and let her go.


Also make sure you send her car back and get her to contribute half to the bills. That might be an interesting chat. "Now, lets see how you are going to afford to live...."

snakebyteuk

fivetide wrote: »

Would she leave?


She can't afford to live there, full stop. Perhaps she should go live with someone else....?


Basically, can you get the credit now? Hopefully you are earning easily enough to have done a lot of good things with your credit score and can show you are capable of paying.


To that end, can you make her an offer less what she owes you and let her go.


Also make sure you send her car back and get her to contribute half to the bills. That might be an interesting chat. "Now, lets see how you are going to afford to live...."

There's no way in this world she would leave. Regardless of the fact that i've funded everything, she still sees it as her house because the mortgage is in her name, not that shes been so concerned with that to insist she pays the mortgage, or even contributes towards it, for many years.

Her car is in the process of getting sold as we speak. To be fair, on her wage as it stands now, she would struggle to cover the mortgage and basic bills, nevermind general living expenses on top. Not sure if she's already got someone lined up to take my place but if not, she's going to be in for a huge shock.

Guest101

snakebyteuk wrote: »

There's no way in this world she would leave. Regardless of the fact that i've funded everything, she still sees it as her house because the mortgage is in her name, not that shes been so concerned with that to insist she pays the mortgage, or even contributes towards it, for many years.

Her car is in the process of getting sold as we speak. To be fair, on her wage as it stands now, she would struggle to cover the mortgage and basic bills, nevermind general living expenses on top. Not sure if she's already got someone lined up to take my place but if not, she's going to be in for a huge shock.

She'd better start house hunting. I hope you've cancelled any standing orders u have set up. She can show you a monthly bill and u can pay HALF.

Angry_Bear

Guest101 wrote: »

She'd better start house hunting. I hope you've cancelled any standing orders u have set up. She can show you a monthly bill and u can pay HALF.

Without all the details this could be terrible advice (along with the previous advice to move out). Although I understand how it could be somewhat satisfying .

If the bills are in her name alone and you're NOT financially linked then this would cause her alone to default on the bills, which would damage her credit report making it even less likely that she'll be able to secure funding to buy you out.
If you are financially linked (or these are bills that you're jointly and severally liable for) then this will damage youre credit rating too, which could make it very difficuly for you to move on with your life for the next six years. On the other hand, depending on the situation, forcing her to realise that she can't afford to stay there might make her agree to sell.

I also don't understand the advice you've had to move out, generally speaking the advice is usually to stay put - as once you've moved out it will be very hard (and expensive) to dislodge her, but if you're still living there too there's more incentive for her to come to an agreement.

Ask for advice here by all means, but please take proper advice from a solicitor before you decide on your next move.

Guest101

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Without all the details this could be terrible advice (along with the previous advice to move out). Although I understand how it could be somewhat satisfying .

If the bills are in her name alone and you're NOT financially linked then this would cause her alone to default on the bills, which would damage her credit report making it even less likely that she'll be able to secure funding to buy you out.
If you are financially linked (or these are bills that you're jointly and severally liable for) then this will damage youre credit rating too, which could make it very difficuly for you to move on with your life for the next six years. On the other hand, depending on the situation, forcing her to realise that she can't afford to stay there might make her agree to sell.

I also don't understand the advice you've had to move out, generally speaking the advice is usually to stay put - as once you've moved out it will be very hard (and expensive) to dislodge her, but if you're still living there too there's more incentive for her to come to an agreement.

Ask for advice here by all means, but please take proper advice from a solicitor before you decide on your next move.

OP has said:

1: she cannot but him out
2: all bills are in her name

The only way he's getting this money is if the house is sold.

The advice to move out is more of a take it as it comes. This kind of situation can sometimes materialise false DV claims.

Also if he moves out and she cannot pay the mortgage she will have to sell or face repossession.

Currently she's basically told the OP it's over, but he can carry on paying for everything?! - Uhm on what planet??!

Angry_Bear

Guest101 wrote: »

OP has said:

1: she cannot but him out
2: all bills are in her name

The OP only knows that her bank has refused to extend her finance. There may be other options, but there almost certainly wouldn't be if her credit report is ruined.

The only way he's getting this money is if the house is sold.

Possibly, but you can't possibly know that from the information available.

The advice to move out is more of a take it as it comes. This kind of situation can sometimes materialise false DV claims.

I could be wrong, but I would REALLY hope that the sort of person who would do this would be incredibly rare.

Also if he moves out and she cannot pay the mortgage she will have to sell or face repossession.

Repossession would lose a lot of the value in the house, which would be terrible for him. And if they have a financial like would trash his credit report too.

Currently she's basically told the OP it's over, but he can carry on paying for everything?! - Uhm on what planet??!

That's certainly not what I said - please don't put words in my mouth! But trying to make sure he considers the implications for the future is better than cutting off his nose to spite his face (which he may or may not be doing by stopping paying out of the blue, that's why I suggested getting proper advice).

Gavin83

Guest101 wrote: »

If you stay, she may start claiming domestic abused, and get legal aid and get you removed, and you could get arrested.

To be fair there isn't anything stopping him doing the same.

Guest101

Angry_Bear wrote: »

The OP only knows that her bank has refused to extend her finance. There may be other options, but there almost certainly wouldn't be if her credit report is ruined.

Possibly, but you can't possibly know that from the information available.

I could be wrong, but I would REALLY hope that the sort of person who would do this would be incredibly rare.

Repossession would lose a lot of the value in the house, which would be terrible for him. And if they have a financial like would trash his credit report too.

That's certainly not what I said - please don't put words in my mouth! But trying to make sure he considers the implications for the future is better than cutting off his nose to spite his face (which he may or may not be doing by stopping paying out of the blue, that's why I suggested getting proper advice).

And how did you work out that repossession would lose a lot of money? The lender must get the best price possible.

What financial link do they have?

Did I quote you as saying that, or paraphrase the advice you gave?

Your whole post is filled with nonsense

Guest101

Gavin83 wrote: »

To be fair there isn't anything stopping him doing the same.

True. In her shoes though, she's facing an economic battle she can't win. Anything to get the edge.

Take OPs phone and send threatening text message... Job done.

Angry_Bear

Guest101 wrote: »

And how did you work out that repossession would lose a lot of money? The lender must get the best price possible.

There will be legal costs added (and these can mount up), and most lenders will sell the house without putting in the sort of effort a private seller would. They'll try to sell the house quickly and as easily as possible and generally will not get the best price. I think you are referring to legislation that is meant to make sure lenders don't take a smaller offer if they have two on the table (I don't know the ins and outs of repossession law). However, I do know that reposessions often sell more cheaply than equivalent properties being sold in the normal way. Shelter's website says:

Rather than waiting for a better offer, many lenders sell repossessed properties as quickly as possible and often at auction.

What financial link do they have?

I did say if. That's exactly my point about there not being enough information to say for sure.

Did I quote you as saying that, or paraphrase the advice you gave?

Your whole post is filled with nonsense

But that's not a paraphrase of my advice, and suggests you've completely misinterpreted what I was saying. My advice is "take proper legal advice before making a decision, as stopping paying bills (and keeping paying bills) could have consequences that haven't been considered".