Advice about younger brother

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Southernman wrote: »

My parents insist that I get him involved. Only the other day did I get a message off his friend asking if he was OK as he hadn't responded to messages

Definitely doesn't sound as though he's as well as you think.

misspickle_2

I think your brother needs a kick up the backside op. He sounds like a selfish spoilt so and so.
All the time he has everyone condoning his behaviour he will just carry on regardless.
Its not like you've asked for much!
Christ I would do that for my own neighbours without batting an eyelid! Never mind my own family!
Next time he wants your help tell him to jog on.
I fail to see what this has to do with his illness.
He's a brat.
And him not responding to messages means nothing. Especially when you've already said he spends all day on fb.
Good luck op.

sulkisu

Southernman wrote: »

My parents insist that I get him involved. Only the other day did I get a message off his friend asking if he was OK as he hadn't responded to messages

Sounds as if your parents are treating you both like children.

Mrs_Soup

Southernman wrote: »

My parents insist that I get him involved. Only the other day did I get a message off his friend asking if he was OK as he hadn't responded to messages

Then don't tell them everything that you are doing. Invite him to occasional things but not to everything.

bouicca21

Well either he's a spoilt brat who takes refuge in illness as an excuse for bad behaviour, or he's paralysed by anxiety. Only you are in a position to know which it is.

How well does he function in social situations? Especially situations where he has to meet a total stranger? What sort of therapy/counselling is he getting? Does he actually want to sort himself out?

Have you tried asking him if there is anything that could make things more comfortable while he is at yours? Does he know that all he has to do is to let the service engineer in and doesn't need to talk to him/her?

Andypandyboy

Anxiety is a real illnes, it can cripple someone emotionally and physically. What most of us take for granted can be a huge deal for those with anxiety. He may have issues which mean he simply can't think about being in an unfamiliar house with the stress of dealing with tradesmen. If he is not answering text messages and recently lost his job due to stress, logic says he is very unwell. He may be masking it, perhaps your parents can see through it and that is why they are asking for your help as someone closer to his age.

Sibling rivalry and jealousy are natural if we think one child is favoured over another. However, if there is an illness to be factored in (even one which is often hard for those who have never experienced it/studied it to understand) sometimes we have to be the bigger person and make real allowances.

I would accept that he feels unable to do what you have asked of him and put it down to his illness, not his lack of will to do it.

misspickle_2

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Anxiety is a real illnes, it can cripple someone emotionally and physically. What most of us take for granted can be a huge deal for those with anxiety. He may have issues which mean he simply can't think about being in an unfamiliar house with the stress of dealing with tradesmen. If he is not answering text messages and recently lost his job due to stress, logic says he is very unwell. He may be masking it, perhaps your parents can see through it and that is why they are asking for your help as someone closer to his age.

Sibling rivalry and jealousy are natural if we think one child is favoured over another. However, if there is an illness to be factored in (even one which is often hard for those who have never experienced it/studied it to understand) sometimes we have to be the bigger person and make real allowances.

I would accept that he feels unable to do what you have asked of him and put it down to his illness, not his lack of will to do it.

This makes no sense. He seems perfectly capable of being involved with stuff when its at everybody else's expense.
You are clearly a good caring person but when it comes to having the wool pulled over your eyes you'd be a dream.

misspickle_2

And I really don't get the six week thing that keeps getting mentioned. Its hardly recent. Besides which nobody died. Its not grief.
When it comes to losing jobs the longer you wallow the worse it will be.
You have to get back on the horse again asap or your setting yourself up for a slippery slope.
The six weeks off is the problem!!! And it will only get worse.

misspickle_2

P.s I am working from home today folks
Before you start

heartbreak_star

Anxiety isn't wallowing - I only wish I weren't talking from experience.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/13/mental-illness-physical-i_n_6145156.html

This is really worth a read.

HBS x