The guilt of making your kids revise

Jagraf

DD has GCSEs in May. She would like to do medicine or something related to this.

Shes a hard worker, but also a teenage girl and I am, as she is, very much aware of how hard it is going to be. She has top predicted grades provided she works continually to the best of her ability. Basically its there if she wants it, and is up to her.

Most of her friends haven't started revising yet at school, some of them are off skiing for half term, some of them are working (she's not 16 yet). Some of them I know will be lazing around all week while their parents are at work.

I am due to sit down with her to organise a timetable, for revision.

Don't get me wrong, she has the life of riley. She has local clubs, she has lots of friends, and has a relatively easy life.

Why do I feel guilty then? She's walking round looking miserable and I feel like the witch from hell.

atolaas

Because she's changing from a child to an adult and these exams mark the start of that change. Talk to her, what are her thoughts on her exams and revising for them?

Jagraf

atolaas wrote: »

Because she's changing from a child to an adult and these exams mark the start of that change. Talk to her, what are her thoughts on her exams and revising for them?

She wants to do it. She actually said to me I need you to keep an eye on me and I need to tell you what I've done at the end of the day to keep me motivated. She gets a buzz out of good results.

She did say herself that this is the start of years of exams, I told her to consider lots of options (I don't believe uni is the only way, but I know it is for what she want to do at the moment).

It almost feels like when she learned to walk I'm trying to stop her being in any 'pain' which is ridiculous.

misspickle_2

I'm with you all the way jag! But I'm not big on guilt
Just done a revision plan for my dd who is a year lower than yours. She has exams next term.
I kick butt all the time but I'm very fair.
Blackmail helps
Works wonders!

Jagraf

misspickle wrote: »

I'm with you all the way jag! But I'm not big on guilt
Just done a revision plan for my dd who is a year lower than yours. She has exams next term.
I kick butt all the time but I'm very fair.
Blackmail helps
Works wonders!

Maybe I will tell her we can have a puppy (only joking)

Is your DD doing her sciences this year?

flimsier

Jagraf wrote: »

DD has GCSEs in May. She would like to do medicine or something related to this.

Shes a hard worker, but also a teenage girl and I am, as she is, very much aware of how hard it is going to be. She has top predicted grades provided she works continually to the best of her ability. Basically its there if she wants it, and is up to her.

Most of her friends haven't started revising yet at school, some of them are off skiing for half term, some of them are working (she's not 16 yet). Some of them I know will be lazing around all week while their parents are at work.

I am due to sit down with her to organise a timetable, for revision.

Don't get me wrong, she has the life of riley. She has local clubs, she has lots of friends, and has a relatively easy life.

Why do I feel guilty then? She's walking round looking miserable and I feel like the witch from hell.

Don't feel guilty.

I wish I'd worked less hard in school

said no-one, ever.

Jagraf

flimsier wrote: »

Don't feel guilty.



said no-one, ever.

Do you know what, I reckon fb doesn't help. All her friends doing all these fabulous things while she's stuck in the house revising waste from human activity.

misspickle_2

She sounds such a great kid jag! What have you got to feel guilty about?
Are you sure your not mixing up guilt with worry?
You should be so proud of yourself :j

Jagraf

misspickle wrote: »

She sounds such a great kid jag! What have you got to feel guilty about?
Are you sure your not mixing up guilt with worry?
You should be so proud of yourself :j

You're so lovely and positive :T

Maybe I'm worrying about the guilt, or feeling guilty about worrying. Probably both. I will take all of it !

misspickle_2

Jagraf wrote: »

Maybe I will tell her we can have a puppy (only joking)

Is your DD doing her sciences this year?

Science, English, maths, history. She is getting hammered left right and centre with tests, exams, projects, assessments.
I'm lucky though because she does balance really well and takes it all in her stride.
She also has a fantastic boyfriend who keeps her grounded. They are best buddies. Been together for months now!

Can I tell you about her valentines day jag?

Andypandyboy

These are hard times and kids vary. Mine fell at all ends of the revision spectrum; one did barely anything but was fortunate to be naturally clever, one did very intense revision because they knew they needed to work hard to achieve, another is driven and revises to excess, but will not accept less than A* in any subject.

We have taken roughly the same tack with the all, which is to encourage and support and extol the benefits of hard work and achievement and short term pain for long term gain,. their long term gain.

What we never did at any exam level was to promise stuff for good results, it may work for some but we took the view that they were doing it for themselves not for us. Of course, we celebrated good results, but not by bunging them a £100 per A* or whatever, which is what some of their friends parents did.

It worked for us, but it can be a stressful period and not just for the kids!!