The guilt of making your kids revise

Alchemilla

As a mother you are bound to feel guilty whatever you do it just seems to go with the territory.

You are giving your girl a wonderful gift of support and structure though and don't forget that.

Has she tried CGP revision apps for her phone?

They won't do it all but will help with learning content.

marisco_2

The best thing you can do for your daughter is to completely step back and let her organise her own timetable and how she approaches her revision. At some point we all have to realise that the only way to succeed in life, is to focus on what we want, organise ourselves and be prepared to put in the hard graft to achieve. If she wants to reach her potential and go after her dream she will knuckle down and get on with it. If it all doesn't mean that much to her she wont and if she ends up regretting it then it will be a valuable lesson learnt.

Only offer encouragement.

barba

Children of helicopter parents go wild when given the chance which is generally at university.

misspickle_2

marisco wrote: »

The best thing you can do for your daughter is to completely step back and let her organise her own timetable and how she approaches her revision. At some point we all have to realise that the only way to succeed in life, is to focus on what we want, organise ourselves and be prepared to put in the hard graft to achieve. If she wants to reach her potential and go after her dream she will knuckle down and get on with it. If it all doesn't mean that much to her she wont and if she ends up regretting it then it will be a valuable lesson learnt.

Only offer encouragement.

I do get where your coming from but I disagree that you should step back and leave them to their own devices during such an important year.
A lot of support and encouragement and help is needed at this crucial time I think.

I've learnt many a valuable lesson due to my mothers take on things. Non of which were good or helpful.
Yes I found the right path, but I can assure you it was no thanks to my mother or tough love etc
Teenagers don't tend to "focus" without a whole host of love and encouragement backing them up.

j.e.j.

barba wrote: »

Children of helicopter parents go wild when given the chance which is generally at university.

That's a very good point! I know several people who went off the rails once their mum and dad were no longer looking over their shoulder.

With the benefit of old age I have to say, too, that exams are pretty worthless in terms of life skills. You cram cram cram, then regurgitate what you've learnt, parrot-fashion, in an exam, get the A grade and the promptly forget whatever it was you spent so long swotting up on.

It would be good if our education system, and our culture generally, were a little more balanced and healthy.



But back to the topic (!) no, OP you should not be forcing her to revise. It's up to her to do it. Parental pressure can do more damage than good.

misspickle_2

j.e.j. wrote: »

That's a very good point! I know several people who went off the rails once their mum and dad were no longer looking over their shoulder.

With the benefit of old age I have to say, too, that exams are pretty worthless in terms of life skills. You cram cram cram, then regurgitate what you've learnt, parrot-fashion, in an exam, get the A grade and the promptly forget whatever it was you spent so long swotting up on.

It would be good if our education system, and our culture generally, were a little more balanced and healthy.



But back to the topic (!) no, OP you should not be forcing her to revise. It's up to her to do it. Parental pressure can do more damage than good.

How old are you j.e ?
Not that old I bet.
I agree with the life skills. My dd is doing food tech for that reason. She leaves home at 16 so needs to look after herself in that respect.
They will all find their feet in the end.

No need for guilt though. Regargless of different opinions I think we all try our best. And that's all we can do x

bizzybee

Just another point, I think this is the last year that AS levels are going to be taken.

Currently the results of these are used to predict A level grades on a uni application.

From 2017 the universities will take more interest in GCSE results alongside predicted grades supplied by the applicant's school / college.

On the subject of guilt, you know your daughter probably better than she knows herself. You know what works with her and what doesn't, which battles to fight and which to concede. If she has asked for your help don't feel guilty, especially when you're nagging her on an hourly basis on sunny days in May!

When she opens the envelope on results day and sees a column of A*s, all thoughts of guilt will miraculously disappear;)

j.e.j.

misspickle wrote: »

How old are you j.e ?
Not that old I bet.

I've been on this planet for 4 decades.. :whistle:

To a 16 year old that's ancient

misspickle_2

j.e.j. wrote: »

I've been on this planet for 4 decades.. :whistle:

To a 16 year old that's ancient

Me too.

We are dinosaurs

Mojisola

misspickle wrote: »

Jag is losing her thread. The point of it was why is jag feeling guilt?

And how does she get rid of it?

Alchemilla wrote: »

As a mother you are bound to feel guilty whatever you do it just seems to go with the territory.

Maybe she's feeling guilty because of people saying things like this above.

Why should a mother feel guilty just because she's a mother?