bit upset by MIL's careless comment

meritaten

oh dear - its a silly thing to say - but we all come out with 'silly things' sometimes don't we?
I am sure she didn't mean to put you down - just ascertaining he was happy and she didn't need to fly to the rescue?


its the sort of thing MY mum would ask - but she is 83 and totally of the generation who thinks the wife should wait on her husband hand, foot and finger!

millysg1

I personally wouldn't get offended and that is something my MIL might say. She fusses her children and, compared to what I'm use to, over mothers. If one of them is ill she would want to do anything and everything to take care of them.

Funny thing is, OH hates this. He likes to be left to his own devices and take care of himself, just like me I suppose. We hate people trying to take care of us, even each other.

So if I was in your situation my OH probably would have been taking care of himself (unless he asked me for help) and my MIL probably would of asked the exact same question and be horrified if I wasn't waiting on him hand and foot.

But I don't care what my MIL thinks. We are happy, we have our own way of doing things and we won't change to please her.

So ignore her and carry on doing what ever you guys are happy with and she will probably always want to mother her child and think no one can take care of her son as well as she could. Don't take it personally.

pickledonionspaceraider

I doubt she meant it the way you have taken it OP, she just wants to be sure her son is OK, in her own way

To me, I think its hard for some parents to view sons and daughters as anything other than 'your baby'. I look at little un, who is now mid 20s, and still think of him as my little lad, which he obviously isn't and wouldn't stand for being treated as one either quite rightly

When my husband and I first moved in together, one of my MIL things she said was ''will you be making my sons packed lunch for work?'' to which I laughed and said ''no I flipping well won't!'' which had us both in stitches.

coolcait

Grimbal wrote: »

...MIL calls up and whilst chatting, asks "so is (me) looking after you, or are you having to look after yourself?"
...

I have to agree with all the people who have pointed out that this might well have been a joke, or just one of those things that people say.


It can also be used as a low-key way of finding out just how ill someone is.


If the answer is "I'm looking after myself", that's often code for "I'm fine, don't panic". Not necessarily "yes, mum, I'm having to look after myself - my wife's not up to scratch at all!"

[Deleted User]

She may well have been referring to the 'man flu' attitude we often talk about i.e. are u being a bit of a baby. Quite frankly, even when I had swine flu I looked after myself lol. He is quite able to look after himself too. He's an adult, unwell, but if he needed 'looking after' that seriously he'd be in hospital on oxygen etc.

I'm sure you are making him as comfortable as anyone can.., so why are you letting MIL's comments upset you? You and he know what is going on.., she doesn't. She's just showing herself as a bit of a fool to be honest if she did mean it as you think..,and fools are best ignored.

duchy

Grimbal wrote: »

I think it stems from my sense of my own inadequacy really. I've always felt concerned that I wasn't good enough in many areas of my life, so have just taken MILs comment on board as a criticism

So her son is sick and the best she can manage is to make snarky comments ? I don't think it's you who is inadequate.

jess1974

I have a 6ft strapping 16 year old son and i still think of him as my little boy...i love to fuss over him and tuck him in when he's poorly...i'm dreading him getting a girlfriend !!!

ariba10

"There is no woman yet born that is good enough for any Mothers son"

barbiedoll

jess1974 wrote: »

I have a 6ft strapping 16 year old son and i still think of him as my little boy...i love to fuss over him and tuck him in when he's poorly...i'm dreading him getting a girlfriend !!!

Yes, it's the only time you get to have a proper cuddle with your teenagers is when they're ill!

Frogletina

ariba10 wrote: »

"There is no woman yet born that is good enough for any Mothers son"

There is! My daughter in law is lovely and I couldn't wish for a better wife for him.

He's been through a lot these last few years and she's taken such good care of him.

frogletina