sisters wedding

Andypandyboy

You knew about the wedding, you knew the date, you knew the location.....so she didn't rush to tell you everything was actually booked.

Why would she need to unless there was a radical change in the plans you already knew about?

Mountains, Molehills, and sense of entitlement come to mind here.

tea_lover

You've never had a problem with your family? Bet they've had loads of problems with you with this huge sense of entitlement.

Mojisola

oliviacam wrote: »

now here is my problem, I'm a gobby cow, and things go round and round in my head, and I tend to say stuff as it comes into my head.

I've already in my head got planned to say, if or when she texts me, to say 'congratulations, I heard through the grapevine you was getting married'

Hubbys pooed off already, as we've sat down and done a bit of cost cutting and extra shifts at work to save for the wedding and he's unhappy that we've heard nothing, as he's out tonight doing a extra shift.

am I wrong in feeling hurt.......cause that is how I feel at the moment.

I'm going to go against the general run of answers and say that I would be upset if my sister hadn't contacted me to say that everything was booked. How long does it take to text your sister that everything's settled?

She's asking you to commit to a lot of extra work and scrimping to be with her on her big day and you're not just another guest - you're her sister - not very fair on her part.

I wouldn't wait for her to text - and don't send what you're planning! - send a text saying that you've heard everything is booked and are glad the dates are finalised (or some similar bland text).

She may have realised she's upset you and doesn't know how to approach you and is expecting you to be gobby!

jp1964

Am I right in thinking that you are saving to be able to go the wedding, which is abroad?

And that the date had not yet been finalised? Until you heard from your daughter.

If that is the case, then really she should have told you straight away about dates, so that you can get time booked off work, flights arranged etc, also if you have children that they are going to be off school and that you won't get fined (thanks to the ridiculous new rules)

What if you were unable to go, would she be upset, presumably so, and no one would want that.

I do think you come across as a bit confrontational about the whole thing, but I get why you would be upset as you are making a big effort to save to be able to share her special day.

I would simply call and ask her, not in a confrontational way, but calmly explain that you really ought to have been told as soon as she knew, so that you can make sure of being able to make it.

She might well have been guilty of simply forgetting that people need to make more complex arrangements to attend, and really ought to have thought of that, after all it's not the same as simply turning up at the church or registry office on one day, is it?

It could well be just an oversight, but try not to make it be a massive deal, she may well feel awful that she forgot to let you know.

Hope it works out, and enjoy the run up to the big day in 18 months.

pickledonionspaceraider

jp1964 wrote: »

Am I right in thinking that you are saving to be able to go the wedding, which is abroad?

And that the date had not yet been finalised? Until you heard from your daughter.

If that is the case, then really she should have told you straight away about dates, so that you can get time booked off work, flights arranged etc, also if you have children that they are going to be off school and that you won't get fined (thanks to the ridiculous new rules)

What if you were unable to go, would she be upset, presumably so, and no one would want that.

I do think you come across as a bit confrontational about the whole thing, but I get why you would be upset as you are making a big effort to save to be able to share her special day.

I would simply call and ask her, not in a confrontational way, but calmly explain that you really ought to have been told as soon as she knew, so that you can make sure of being able to make it.

She might well have been guilty of simply forgetting that people need to make more complex arrangements to attend, and really ought to have thought of that, after all it's not the same as simply turning up at the church or registry office on one day, is it?

It could well be just an oversight, but try not to make it be a massive deal, she may well feel awful that she forgot to let you know.

Hope it works out, and enjoy the run up to the big day in 18 months.

Just wanted to add,
If I tried to book annual leave from work for 18 months time, I wouldn't be allowed as the books wouldn't have even opened for 2016 yet

meritaten

If you knew nothing at all about the wedding and THEN heard the arrangements through the grapevine, I could understand you feeling hurt.
but, you DID know, you are just miffed that you haven't yet been given chapter and verse.

jp1964

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Just wanted to add,
If I tried to book annual leave from work for 18 months time, I wouldn't be allowed as the books wouldn't have even opened for 2016 yet

A good point, but to be honest not one I would know much about as I haven't worked for an employer for over 22 years!

I thought that perhaps peak times for holidays might need early booking of leave.If that is not the case, then perhaps the OP's sister thought it would wait until she saw her.

Peter333

I have to agree with the majority that the OP is over-reacting, and her sister has not meant to leave her out at all.

However, I think that people are being overly harsh here, saying the OP is childish, and petty, and jealous, and playing the victim, and being a drama queen, and trying to make it 'all about her...!' Good grief! I think some posters on here are the ones overreacting!

Why are some posters on this forum always so damning of people? We're none of us perfect, and we all react irrationally at times, and some of the responses that some people get on this website are completely unnecessary and unwarranted.

No wonder people make up new usernames like the OP has!

mogwai

Think people are being a bit mean to the OP - I agree your sister should have told you once things were booked, esp if you have to book tickets, make arrangements etc.

However I would not make a big issue of it with your sister OP, I would just call her and ask her in a light hearted way why she hadn't let you know yet..maybe she's a bit ditsy and thought she had already told you (I'm like this so can totally believe this might have been the case!)..good luck and resist the temptation to make it a serious issue!

Peter333

mogwai wrote: »

Think people are being a bit mean to the OP - I agree your sister should have told you once things were booked, esp if you have to book tickets, make arrangements etc.

However I would not make a big issue of it with your sister OP, I would just call her and ask her in a light hearted way why she hadn't let you know yet..maybe she's a bit ditsy and thought she had already told you (I'm like this so can totally believe this might have been the case!)..good luck and resist the temptation to make it a serious issue!

Understatement of the month!