sisters wedding

duchy

So you follow your gobby cow instincts and turn it into a row......
You've already dragged your daughter and Mum into it

Apart from making you feel "right" because you think your adult sister should have text you the moment she knew rather than told you the next time she saw you....or assumed you knew as your daughter knew ....and is wondering why YOU haven't bothered ringing her all excited as she knows you know.

You just sound a bit jealous and trying to shift the attention off your sister and are trying to make it all about you.

Make a fuss by all means and cause bad feeling - if you really want to cast a shadow over your sister's wedding......... or ring her up tomorrow and say "Ihear from daughter you've booked -can I help with anything for the wedding"

Life is too bluddy short for this kind of childishness.

eskimo26

oliviacam wrote: »

She's told our hairdresser/mum and I don't know who else about it.

These are people she probably met face to face and told in passing. I think people in general don't appreciate enough the world doesn't revolve around them.

My brother has a friend who has ignored all his messages recently for quite a period, this guy is going through some bad mental health and drug issues and is doing the same to other friends, but my brother still took it very personally.

She told you to save up already which was the most important bit imo so just let it go, I just wish my bro would follow the same advice instead of causing himself so much pain.

peachyprice

oliviacam wrote: »

she's been telling me for the past 3 months about it, and for me to save for it,

So you DO know about it, all she hasn't done is told you she'd actually booked it. Massive over-reaction much.

thorsoak

Wind your neck in! Do you want to spend the next 18 months and tarnish your thoughts and memories of your only sister's wedding day for the whole family by feeling slighted by her not having told you the very minute she booked the date? You say that she's been talking to you about it for months - she's probably so excited that she's forgotten that she hadn't already told you.

You've known about it for long enough for your husband to be doing extra shifts - have you never made a mistake?

Grow up, for goodness sake!

Pollycat

peachyprice wrote: »

So you DO know about it, all she hasn't done is told you she'd actually booked it.

My thoughts exactly.

oliviacam wrote: »

in my 48 years on this earth I have never ever had a problem with my family, not one, which I'm very lucky to say, after the stuff I've been reading on here for years.
which is why I felt hurt after what I heard yesterday.
I guess i'll do it my way then

OP, you might never have had a problem with your family before but if you carry on and 'do it your way' you are going the right way to create a nasty atmosphere between you and your sister, and probably your poor Mum who will be caught in the middle.

Can't you understand how snide this sounds?:

oliviacam wrote: »

I've already in my head got planned to say, if or when she texts me, to say 'congratulations, I heard through the grapevine you was getting married'

TBeckett100

oliviacam wrote: »

hi old user new name, because family know my old name.


Right here goes, my sister is getting married next year, 18 months time, abroad for the 1st time, she is 45, and were really happy for her and saving up already.


Now last week she has booked the wedding, date sorted, venue, time.
I only found out because my daughter rang her yesterday and she was at the hairdressers, and she said oh I was just telling the hairdresser about the wedding plans. So my daughter told me last night.
Today on the phone to my mum I said I believe our sam has booked the wedding, and then mum started gushing, (understandable) about the arrangements, at the end I said, oh it would have been nice to get a call/text about it,
mum said oh she only booked it last week, I said last week, she's had 7 days to ring/text me, mum said, oh she'll be busy with work, I just said to mum got to go now.


now I know my mum, she will probably say to my sister when she next speaks to her, have you not told our *** about the plans.
and I'm expecting a text/call after this, well it's not come in the past week, so can't see it coming soon.
I can't understand it because we are a closeish family, theres me my sister and my 30 year old daughter, and we are always together for birthdays/Christmas/easter/mothers fathers day and stay in touch.
I would have thought she would have jokingly text me and said hi booked the wedding save ***** in your diary...........but zilch nothing, my daughter said she feels as if she hadn't rang her yesterday she wouldn't have known.


now here is my problem, I'm a gobby cow, and things go round and round in my head, and I tend to say stuff as it comes into my head.
I've already in my head got planned to say, if or when she texts me, to say 'congratulations, I heard through the grapevine you was getting married'
Hubbys pooed off already, as we've sat down and done a bit of cost cutting and extra shifts at work to save for the wedding and he's unhappy that we've heard nothing, as he's out tonight doing a extra shift.


am I wrong in feeling hurt.......cause that is how I feel at the moment.

If the wedding is in 18 months, get over it.

sal1960

Text her or phone her saying in a cheery way Have you forgotten to tell me something?!! Then give me a ring I' d love to talk about itxxxx

It's easy to get on a high horse about things but much better to let it go and forgive mistakes. I know I've been there in the past with my sisters.
Enjoy the build up to the wedding together

Just my thoughts xxx

74jax

I'm a bit confused. Did you know she was getting married or not? You talk as though you didn't ie I heard on the grapevine you are getting married, but then you talk about saving for the wedding in 18 months.....

I think what had happened is she had booked the wedding, got her hair done and the hairdresser has asked 'anything new, any wedding plans'? And your sister has told her.

You've already said you haven't spoken over the time it's happened.

If you want to text her then do. If you don't then don't. Personally if you can't pop round then call her and gush omg I've heard you've booked the wedding, tell me all about it . you'll come off much bet that way.

If you WANT To know that is.

You come across as you don't want to know. We can only go off what you have wrote, so appreciate it's not the big picture, but from what you've put, you seem a little miffed at her getting married and you having to save for it, you don't have to go you know.

You don't come across as old as you say you are, I'm not sure if that is to hide your identity on your new user name, which is ridiculous given the amount of info you've put on it.....

Kynthia

So she told you when she got engaged, she just hasn't told you yet that it's now booked? You are over-reacting. She probably doesn't think this is the kind of news that should be shared immediately with those closest to her like the proposal was and you are going to upset her and tarnish the memories of her wedding planning if you make an issue of it. I very much doubt there's any malice here yet you'd already made it an 'issue' with your mum and daughter. I'd address this and make it a non-issue quickly.

pollypenny

The opening post sounds very childish.