sisters wedding

oliviacam

hi old user new name, because family know my old name.


Right here goes, my sister is getting married next year, 18 months time, abroad for the 1st time, she is 45, and were really happy for her and saving up already.


Now last week she has booked the wedding, date sorted, venue, time.
I only found out because my daughter rang her yesterday and she was at the hairdressers, and she said oh I was just telling the hairdresser about the wedding plans. So my daughter told me last night.
Today on the phone to my mum I said I believe our sam has booked the wedding, and then mum started gushing, (understandable) about the arrangements, at the end I said, oh it would have been nice to get a call/text about it,
mum said oh she only booked it last week, I said last week, she's had 7 days to ring/text me, mum said, oh she'll be busy with work, I just said to mum got to go now.


now I know my mum, she will probably say to my sister when she next speaks to her, have you not told our *** about the plans.
and I'm expecting a text/call after this, well it's not come in the past week, so can't see it coming soon.
I can't understand it because we are a closeish family, theres me my sister and my 30 year old daughter, and we are always together for birthdays/Christmas/easter/mothers fathers day and stay in touch.
I would have thought she would have jokingly text me and said hi booked the wedding save ***** in your diary...........but zilch nothing, my daughter said she feels as if she hadn't rang her yesterday she wouldn't have known.


now here is my problem, I'm a gobby cow, and things go round and round in my head, and I tend to say stuff as it comes into my head.
I've already in my head got planned to say, if or when she texts me, to say 'congratulations, I heard through the grapevine you was getting married'
Hubbys pooed off already, as we've sat down and done a bit of cost cutting and extra shifts at work to save for the wedding and he's unhappy that we've heard nothing, as he's out tonight doing a extra shift.


am I wrong in feeling hurt.......cause that is how I feel at the moment.

pebbles88

oliviacam wrote: »

hi old user new name, because family know my old name.


Right here goes, my sister is getting married next year, 18 months time, abroad for the 1st time, she is 45, and were really happy for her and saving up already.


Now last week she has booked the wedding, date sorted, venue, time.
I only found out because my daughter rang her yesterday and she was at the hairdressers, and she said oh I was just telling the hairdresser about the wedding plans. So my daughter told me last night.
Today on the phone to my mum I said I believe our sam has booked the wedding, and then mum started gushing, (understandable) about the arrangements, at the end I said, oh it would have been nice to get a call/text about it,
mum said oh she only booked it last week, I said last week, she's had 7 days to ring/text me, mum said, oh she'll be busy with work, I just said to mum got to go now.


now I know my mum, she will probably say to my sister when she next speaks to her, have you not told our *** about the plans.
and I'm expecting a text/call after this, well it's not come in the past week, so can't see it coming soon.
I can't understand it because we are a closeish family, theres me my sister and my 30 year old daughter, and we are always together for birthdays/Christmas/easter/mothers fathers day and stay in touch.
I would have thought she would have jokingly text me and said hi booked the wedding save ***** in your diary...........but zilch nothing, my daughter said she feels as if she hadn't rang her yesterday she wouldn't have known.


now here is my problem, I'm a gobby cow, and things go round and round in my head, and I tend to say stuff as it comes into my head.
I've already in my head got planned to say, if or when she texts me, to say 'congratulations, I heard through the grapevine you was getting married'
Hubbys pooed off already, as we've sat down and done a bit of cost cutting and extra shifts at work to save for the wedding and he's unhappy that we've heard nothing, as he's out tonight doing a extra shift.


am I wrong in feeling hurt.......cause that is how I feel at the moment.

I can appreciate you feeling hurt, & agree she could have told you earlier especially if she knows you're having to save for it.

But on the other hand, it's up to her who she wishes to tell, it's her news to do with as she wants.

Hopefully there's a simple explanation, she may have thought now that your daughter knows, she'd have told you anyway, she could be caught up in the excitement of getting booked, she may have wanted to talk to everyone at the same time about it or wanted to tell you in person.

You just don't know. Just talk to her, sooner rather than later as it'd be a shame to let it fester.

And speaking as someone else who gets stuck on things and often says the first thing that comes into my head...... don't do it!
Hope you get to speak to her soon & that the wedding goes beautifully.

barba

Wedding planning brings the best and worst out of people.

Guessing she's a walking whirlwind and would tell you when you next time you speak

Take it on the chin

oliviacam

<<Guessing she's a walking whirlwind and would tell you when you next time you speak>>


I'm her only sister, why did she not ring/text me?


She's told our hairdresser/mum and I don't know who else about it.

suelizab

she is getting married in 18mnths time, she booked a WEEK ago? She needs the time to enjoy it herself without worrying about you being upset not knowing the date etc for a WEEK . Leave the woman be . She is not some 19yr old .

oliviacam

<<she is getting married in 18mnths time, she booked a WEEK ago? She needs the time to enjoy it herself without worrying about you being upset not knowing the date etc for a WEEK . Leave the woman be . She is not some 19yr old . >>


she's been telling me for the past 3 months about it, and for me to save for it, as her sister, I thought after our mum I would have been her next port of call, because she was mine, I guess you think that I'm over reacting, to the fact that I'm upset because our hairdresser knows all about it before me, and she hasn't bothered to call/text me.


Well I'm sorry I can't change who I am, and the 1st people I would want to call would and is family.

Hermia

oliviacam wrote: »

<<Guessing she's a walking whirlwind and would tell you when you next time you speak>>


I'm her only sister, why did she not ring/text me?


She's told our hairdresser/mum and I don't know who else about it.

Is she someone who usually rings you straight away with news? Could she have simply told the hairdresser and your mum because she just happened to be speaking to them anyway? I am not a big phone/text person so I will often not relay news to people straight away. If your sis speaks to you a lot it does seem a bit strange and I would ask her about it. If she just talks to you now and again I would just assume she was going to tell you later on. Whatever happens don't be a "gobby cow" about it. Even if she is in the wrong starting WW3 is not going to help anything. If you are that hurt about it speak to her calmly about it.

coolcait

oliviacam wrote: »

now here is my problem, I'm a gobby cow, and things go round and round in my head, and I tend to say stuff as it comes into my head.. .

Behaviour like that gets very wearing, very quickly, for the people around you.


If, as you say, your family know of your presence on this forum, they will recognise you immediately from your very detailed description of the 'issue' which has perturbed you. So, not much point in the supposed subterfuge.


Rather than creating a new user name, perhaps you could work on creating a 'new you'?


One who doesn't create mountains out of molehills, brood over them, and then blurt out stuff as it comes into your head. That kind of stuff is often hurtful to those around you.


Who knows, if you manage to overcome that aspect of your personality, family members may feel more comfortable about sharing things with you.

oliviacam

I always thought we was close, yes we do text, not ring that much, I last text her last sat, about the lottery numbers, saying it wasn't our week. She replied with something like oh well, there's always wed.
Heard nothing since.
I knew today on the phone my mum was trying to make excuses up for her, saying she was busy with work etc,


it's massive news in our family, she couldn't wait to text me and tell me the morning after she met him, on a blind date that he was nice etc etc.

oliviacam

Thank you for your replies and input.


But after the reply from coolcait i'll bow out now , without deleting the post, like lots do.
in my 48 years on this earth I have never ever had a problem with my family, not one, which I'm very lucky to say, after the stuff I've been reading on here for years.
which is why I felt hurt after what I heard yesterday.
I guess i'll do it my way then,


thank you.

suelizab

frank sinatra

honestly. lighten up. you are both different people . you can't question an older persons decision like that . she is probably waiting to talk face to face, not on a mobile . And as you say, u r in your 48th year . you make it sound really old .