Miserly friends

girlsmum

when i go out with friends we always just split the bill, and if there is a someone who is not drinker the rest pay a bit more.
Mind you i remember a friend of my ex was a pain when this happened as he would always choose the most expensive items on the menu, we all used to split it equally, but it peed most of us off that he would always do it.

sulphate

There is a couple in one of my friendship circles like this.

A couple of years ago about 10 of us went out for a meal and my DH and I had a couple of courses, a drink or two etc. When the bill came, the couple suggested splitting the bill. I had no problem with this but I hadn't paid attention to what everyone else was ordering. One of my other friends however had only had a salad and tap water or similar due to her being unemployed at the time and was adamant she only wanted to pay for her own. Turns out the couple who wanted to split had had 3 courses each and lots of wine to themselves and were expecting everyone else to subsidise them :rotfl:

The above acquaintance came along without her DH to a couple of meals out over Christmas and still hadn't learnt her lesson from the previous occasion, and wanted to split the bill again even though she was always eating and drinking more than everyone else. I noticed then she always took it upon herself to ask for the bill from the waiting staff, looked at it first then loudly announced "are we all OK to split the bill?" making everyone else look miserly if they suggested any other option.

It's not just with meals that they are miserly though, every time I see them there is always a problem in their lives that can't possibly be their fault, the fact she doesn't like her job in the public sector is all the government's fault and she can't possibly bear any responsibility for her choice of career. Her DH hasn't worked in about 4 years and has no interest in getting just "any" job - it must be a job that he will love. In the meantime, they live in a house entirely funded by her parents who not only gifted them their whole deposit but also pay the mortgage too!

Mojisola

aileth wrote: »

My sister's ex was like this. He came with us for a short-break that we had prebooked. It was a cottage so effectively wasn't costing us any extra accommodation wise. They had only been dating for a month, he seemed excited by it and I thought it was a wonderful opportunity for him to 'impress' my parents per se.

It was a good five hour drive there. Not a single offer of petrol money. Stopped at services. Not a single offer of money towards the food we bought him.

When we got there, we did some shopping. He bought tonnes of sweets/snacks for himself but nothing toward the groceries.

Entrances fees, stood there expecting someone to buy him a ticket.

Went out for meals, ordered with utter disregard for cost, steak, speciality beer. Again, not a single offer for anything towards it.

Why would you let this go on all week? After not buying his own food at the services or offering money towards the shopping, we would have got everyone to pay their own way.

Horace

I remember organising an office Christmas Party and our boss said that he would pay for the wine. Well the boss didn't pay for any wine, he didn't even turn up so as we couldn't very well have dinner without wine, I arranged it myself. Mind you I asked the venue for bottles on a sale or return basis and not to just open a load of bottles and leave them on the tables. I remember that the waiter made a point of telling everybody that I had bought the wine and some knew that I was at the bottom of the pay scale and therefore didn't have much money so they refused the wine, one person offered to pay a share and others just guzzled like it was going out of fashion whilst at the same time telling me how stupid I was and that I shouldn't have bought it. Didn't stop them drinking though did it and they were most miffed to find that there weren't any bottles for them to take. I never did get my money back but vowed after that to not organise staff parties again.

When I go out for a meal I pay for my own and that way I don't get stung for bottles of wine which I don't drink. These days though I don't go out for a meal that often due to being skint but when I do go out then I take a friend with me and have a pub meal when there is an offer on eg. 2 for the price of 1 and a free starter or pud - I buy all the drinks because my friend drives us there and then we will split the cost of one paid for meal so we both pay the same and neither feels put upon. It is something that we just do, I didn't ask but we did come to an agreement.

aileth

Mojisola wrote: »

Why would you let this go on all week? After not buying his own food at the services or offering money towards the shopping, we would have got everyone to pay their own way.

Because we're all a bit soft and cowardly and didn't know him well enough, plus we didn't want to run the risk of ruining our first family holiday in years. Had a small hope he wasn't paying to begin with because he was going to take us to a slap up meal, I suppose.

duchy

See in this situation I'd have said "OK -Boss hasn't paid foir the wine so those who want it will have to buy their own"

So those who can't possibly have a meal without wine (Reallly ??) fund their own and those who don't want to pay -or don't drink .....don't.

(actually had he said he'd pay for it I'd have probably rung him and asked for his creditcard details )

Horace wrote: »

I remember organising an office Christmas Party and our boss said that he would pay for the wine. Well the boss didn't pay for any wine, he didn't even turn up so as we couldn't very well have dinner without wine, I arranged it myself. Mind you I asked the venue for bottles on a sale or return basis and not to just open a load of bottles and leave them on the tables. I remember that the waiter made a point of telling everybody that I had bought the wine and some knew that I was at the bottom of the pay scale and therefore didn't have much money so they refused the wine, one person offered to pay a share and others just guzzled like it was going out of fashion whilst at the same time telling me how stupid I was and that I shouldn't have bought it. Didn't stop them drinking though did it and they were most miffed to find that there weren't any bottles for them to take. I never did get my money back but vowed after that to not organise staff parties again.

When I go out for a meal I pay for my own and that way I don't get stung for bottles of wine which I don't drink. These days though I don't go out for a meal that often due to being skint but when I do go out then I take a friend with me and have a pub meal when there is an offer on eg. 2 for the price of 1 and a free starter or pud - I buy all the drinks because my friend drives us there and then we will split the cost of one paid for meal so we both pay the same and neither feels put upon. It is something that we just do, I didn't ask but we did come to an agreement.

tea_lover

Horace wrote: »

I remember organising an office Christmas Party and our boss said that he would pay for the wine. Well the boss didn't pay for any wine, he didn't even turn up so as we couldn't very well have dinner without wine, I arranged it myself.

:eek::eek: well that's quite scary!

FatVonD

aileth wrote: »

Because we're all a bit soft and cowardly and didn't know him well enough, plus we didn't want to run the risk of ruining our first family holiday in years. Had a small hope he wasn't paying to begin with because he was going to take us to a slap up meal, I suppose.

I think those sort of people rely on others politeness/embarrassment/not wanting to not cause a scene and that's how they get away with it.

In the days when I was down the pub every night there was one bloke on the peripheral of our crowd and my BF would say to me 'don't buy Kevin a drink as he never gets a round' but faced with being out of pocket or the embarrassment of excluding someone from a round I always chose being out of pocket.

On of the blokes in another group of friends had no such qualms. He excluded one of my friends from a round and when her BF said 'you forgot to get S a drink' he said, 'no I didn't, I didn't buy her one because she never buys anyone else one' :eek:

vroombroom

I'm genuinely shocked at some of these stories and so grateful my friends are normal!! x

Whenever we go for a meal, we just pay for our share x

OrkneyStar

Pay for your own food/wine, simples, no subsidising others or feeling bad that they or subsidising you. If it is close friends then taking it in turns to pay, if you are happy with that, works too, nice to be nice (feels like treating each other even though technically you are not!).