Miserly friends

pollyanna24

FBaby wrote: »

Could it be though that what they were whinging about was the fact that they were not sure they had enough change for a taxi but didn't want to ask you for cash. I guess giving them the benefit of the doubt

But they shouldn't have expected a lift home. They should have thought about it really and had the cash on them.

SanguineSteve

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

........ even if you have something for a £5er they will expect you to pay upwards of £30.00 and that includes contributing to the wine when you have only had 1/2 of coke.

I'm sure that's not entirely accurate. Are you sure you are not just anxious about raising the subject.

I don't like to be 'that guy', but in almost all cases people will understand if the inequality is as stark as that.

I tend to keep a mental note of the cost of what i've had and then round up to the nearest fiver. If i'm asked for more than that, then I will consider mentioning it.

I've certainly dug my heels in before when a couple (that were late and joined us halfway through the main course) ordered a £50 bottle of wine for them to share and then were the ones to suggest that we 'simply' split the bill. Nope, not on my watch!

dandelionclock30

No it was as bad as that. Once they went out for a meal and I said that I would join them after for drinks as I was on a strict diet at the time through the hospital. Anyway, I had 2 cokes and the bill came round and they asked me if I would like to chip in towards the cost of the food.I explained I hadn't eaten anything and was just paying for my cokes.
It took them about 40 minutes going round and round the tables to get people to chip in more. The problem was that the managers had been having loads of bottles of wine and then expected everyone elce to pay for it.
Another time a colleague went out with them and brought his son along. They had 2 mushroom burgers which were each just a large flat mushroom plonked in a breadcake and 2 cokes. Theres would have come to about a tenner but he had to pay £25.00! He didn't say anything because he didn't want to be seen as tight or as a trouble maker.
I think that places need to do individual bills as standard myself so people don't have this farce.

purpleshoes_2

I can understand why people don't eat out given how ridiculous it can get. I remember going for a night out with work, I worked part time in a gym 3 years ago, as soon as the meal was booked, an inexpensive meal at a chinese, one of the girls said very loudly (she did double the hours I did) and there will be none of that everyone paying for their own.

She and another girl drank their way through several bottles of rose wine and when it came to the end of the meal, it was like, we'll split it. I think I had one pint. I probably paid more than I would have if I had gone out with people who pay for their own, but no way did I pay what they wanted me to pay, I wasn't the only one either.

Its clear some people use group meals out to guzzle as much food and drink as much alcohol as they possibly can and get other people to pay for as much of it as they can.

KxMx

I'm part of an online friendship group and did hear one amusing story recently.

There was a quiz (no entry fee) with a cash prize (provided by the group) held in a pub. Landlord provided room free of charge and threw in some free food he had left over (very good quality apparently).

He got rather mad when one couple sat in the pub and pulled out a 6 pack of bottled water bought from home to consume! Apparently they "thought it would be ok".

Bottled water is totally overpriced in shops/pubs in single units, but what a cheek all the same!

AmyTurtle

I'm in charge of the milk for a building of 80 people and there is one guy who repeatedly steals 4 pint bottles of milk, sometimes taking 12 pints home at once. It's got so ridiculous I've had to escalate it and effectively report him for theft as there will be 16 pints in a fridge when I go home, then first thing the next day I'm getting grief because people want tea and there's half a pint left among 20 people!! He smokes and has 3 cars so I'm guessing he can afford milk.

He steals other things too, like pens, blue plastic gloves, loo rolls.

NobodysChild

AmyTurtle wrote: »

I'm in charge of the milk for a building of 80 people and there is one guy who repeatedly steals 4 pint bottles of milk, sometimes taking 12 pints home at once. It's got so ridiculous I've had to escalate it and effectively report him for theft as there will be 16 pints in a fridge when I go home, then first thing the next day I'm getting grief because people want tea and there's half a pint left among 20 people!! He smokes and has 3 cars so I'm guessing he can afford milk.

He steals other things too, like pens, blue plastic gloves, loo rolls.

Why is this man still employed by the company?! :eek:

One chap was sacked from where I work for pinching 50 envelopes and a ream of paper. Small theft, but a theft nevertheless...

He was a 45 y.o. man who had worked here for 16 years, and had 2 kids, and a mortgage, and it was 3 weeks before Christmas. But it was theft, and he was sacked on the spot. No severance pay, no redundancy, no reference, no nothing.

The company showed no mercy, and exercised their right to sack him under the gross misconduct rule.

So if this chap at your works is till there, I do wonder why!

davetrousers

Reading through this thread makes me glad I have very few friends.

Oh hang on...

NobodysChild

purpleshoes wrote: »

I think there's a fine line between being frugal and being tight.

I don't have much spare cash and sometimes my mum will take myself and my brother out for a meal and she'll pay, but I'll buy her back, generally groupon lunches or meals which she doesn't mind at all. We've been out 3 times since December and I've paid for those. There are so many ways people can have friendships even with different incomes and budgets, there's just no need for people to take advantage.

There is no way in a million years I would ever try and con someone to pay me into something or to dodge paying for a round of drinks. If I couldn't afford to be somewhere in the first place I wouldn't go and if I ever were sitting in a pub with £150 in my pocket trying to get someone else to pay for my drinks Id be ashamed of myself.

Ive never worked in huge offices and Im self employed now so the whole birthday, put into lots of collections hasn't really happened to me.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who was tight either. Sometimes its not just being tight, its being really flaky or simply not caring about anyone except yourself.

I think some people are just miserable full stop, you would have to be to have all that money and still walking around grumbling about every penny you eventually part with.

:T Nail on head. Especially to the bolded bits.

How much contempt do you have to have for your 'friends' to expect them to pay for stuff for you, and never give back? (Especially as in most of these cases, the misers seem to have plenty of money!)

It's thoughtless, it's rude, it's selfish, it's mean, and it's obnoxious. I have no idea how people can do it tbh.

trolleyrun

I don't have friends who behave like misers, luckily. We don't go out for meals/drinks very often as none of us are well off. When we do, we automatically pay for whatever we each had and a tip. It doesn't occur to us to do anything else.

I do have some colleagues though, who like to order loads and then wanting to split the bill. I always pipe up, saying it's best for everyone to just pay their share. I don't care if it offends anyone, as it's usually the higher paid colleagues who want to split the bill.

I was raised to pay my way and find it awkward if a friend wants to treat me to something. I do make a mental note to treat that person in return next time.

If those of you who have miserly friends want to remain friends, I'd recommend speaking up at least. Tell them in plain English that you can't afford to pay for them. Most likely, they've got enough money to pay for themselves, as they've been getting away with it for some time. If they get offended, they aren't good friends in the first place.