Miserly friends

Portia82

We have a couple of friends who are some of the most miserly people I have ever met.

We hadn't seen them for a while, and invited them to a party we were having. Neither of them drive and I offered to pick them up from the station (we only live a couple of miles from it). Later that evening, they were getting ready to leave, and came to ask me for a lift to the station. They were clearly put out when I said they would have to get a taxi, as I had had a couple of glasses of wine (not an unreasonable thing to do at your own party!). They made a big fuss about finding out the bus times (although a taxi is actually no dearer than bus fares for two people over that distance) and made me feel guilty for not giving them a lift, rummaging for change and muttering about the cost (they only live a 20 minute train journey from us).

They have form in terms of stinginess. When we lived in the same city, they had a habit of turning up at meal times, particularly Sundays, and expecting to be fed. I don't mind the odd time, but it became a regular thing. They have turned up at parties with one bottle of beer between them (and then proceed to down a couple of bottles of wine - this was when many of us were students/in our early 20s) and never buy a round if they can help it. The woman once expected to be accommodated rent free for three months whilst she did a course, at some friends of ours in London who she had only met a couple of times, and was clearly miffed when informed that this would not be possible.

Despite all of this, they are both quite well off. They have well paid jobs, and own a buy to let property. They are each only children and have both inherited property from their parents. Of course, that's irrelevant, and none of my business, but I have friends who don't have much at all, yet they would give you the clothes off their back to help you, and are generous in other, non monetary ways.

I guess I find it amusing really, as the mindset of miserliness is so alien to me, and wondered if anyone had any other tales of miserly family/friends' behaviour that has made them go !!!!!!!!!!

Soleil_lune

Portia82 wrote: »

We have a couple of friends who are some of the most miserly people I have ever met.

We hadn't seen them for a while, and invited them to a party we were having. Neither of them drive and I offered to pick them up from the station (we only live a couple of miles from it). Later that evening, they were getting ready to leave, and came to ask me for a lift to the station. They were clearly put out when I said they would have to get a taxi, as I had had a couple of glasses of wine (not an unreasonable thing to do at your own party!). They made a big fuss about finding out the bus times (although a taxi is actually no dearer than bus fares for two people over that distance) and made me feel guilty for not giving them a lift.

They have form in terms of stinginess. When we lived in the same city, they had a habit of turning up at meal times, particularly Sundays, and expecting to be fed. I don't mind the odd time, but it became a regular thing. They have turned up at parties with one bottle of beer between them (and then proceed to down a couple of bottles of wine - this was when many of us were students/in our early 20s) and never buy a round if they can help it. The woman once expected to be accommodated rent free for three months whilst she did a course, at some friends of ours in London who she had only met a couple of times, and was clearly miffed when informed that this would not be possible.

Despite all of this, they are both quite well off. They have well paid jobs, and own a buy to let property. They are each only children and have both inherited property from their parents. Of course, that's irrelevant, and none of my business, but I have friends who don't have much at all, yet they would give you the clothes off their back to help you, and are generous in other, non monetary ways.

I guess I find it amusing really, as the mindset of miserliness is so alien to me, and wondered if anyone had any other tales of miserly family/friends' behaviour that has made them go !!!!!!!!!!

Yep, you usually DO find the richest people are the tightest! Because they spend their whole lives scrounging and begging off others, and never give back. They will turn up at mealtimes, and eat all YOUR food, they have always forgot their cigarettes and only brought a fiver to the pub, they rarely buy a round, and will try every trick in the book to get others to pay for stuff.

If you are selling something, they will expect you to give it to them for nothing, and they will beg lifts and NEVER offer petrol money!

These are selfish feeders, and parasites. I have known many people like this, and eventually kicked them to the kerb, because I deserve better!

sinizterguy

Some people are just that way.

Either accept them as they are or distance yourself from them - whichever makes you happiest.

Bennifred

Are you sure these misers are "friends", Portia82?

browneyedbazzi

I know someone a bit like this - always wants to come to visit around meal times knowing that they will be fed and are not shy about getting to the food first and taking massive portions, leaving little for those behind. Also they've been known to help themselves to anything in the fridge/cupboard. By contrast, when visiting them, the cheapest stuff available is on offer and not very much of it. They'll even eat in front of invited guests without offering anything to the guest, which I find incredibly rude.

Add to this that whenever possible if someone is popping to the shops they will ask - 'could you pick up x, y or z for me' then 'forget' to give the money for it so you have to pester for the money and are treated like you're being miserly/unreasonable in asking to be repaid.

Properly annoying!

rachiibell

I'm friends with a couple that me and my ex used to go out with quite a bit whilst we were together.

If we went for dinner they would get out their phones and add up the cost of what they had to the exact penny and pay separately for what they each had. Whereas me and ex would look at the bill round it up to the nearest whole number and whichever of us were feeling the richest at the time would pay. This couple lived together and we just found it so strange that they stuck to each having their own money so fanatically. They would seriously have arguments like your food was 37p dearer than mine so you owe more!

FBaby

They made a big fuss about finding out the bus times (although a taxi is actually no dearer than bus fares for two people over that distance) and made me feel guilty for not giving them a lift, rummaging for change and muttering about the cost (they only live a 20 minute train journey from us).

Could it be though that what they were whinging about was the fact that they were not sure they had enough change for a taxi but didn't want to ask you for cash. I guess giving them the benefit of the doubt

*max*

I couldn't be friends with people like that; it would annoy me to the point of no return, to be frank. Not being willing to fork out is one thing if they tell you beforehand that's the reason they're not doing something, but doing it anyway and yet refusing to pay their fair share or moaning about it is not on. I'd have kicked them to the curb after the first couple of times it happened.

raven83

rachiibell wrote: »

They would seriously have arguments like your food was 37p dearer than mine so you owe more!

Some people just have too much time on their hands hey, that would drive me nuts!

BigAunty

Yes, I had a miserly friend (note the past tense).

She was a sob story merchant so used charm rather than direct scrounging. She had a marvellous way of appearing to never spend any money while claiming to be in debt while simultaneously managing to enjoy expensive holidays and claiming to have no savings.

She had the knack of getting everyone to fix everything for free, persuading people to install a new kitchen and bathroom, pay for her window repairs and decorating, gift her furniture and furnishings, repair her car, sort out her PC, by complaining how broke she was or how terrible she was at household tasks. She managed to outsource everything - one friend would be editing her CV, another changing her lightbulbs, another giving her free driving lessons, someone fitting shelves, another paying off a telephone debt, another friend giving her a mobile handset, another fixing her bike while someone else would give her a lift to an event. That would be a standard week!


She never bought a round and would usually forget to reimburse anyone who bought her a cinema or theatre ticket. She would cry about how her flat might get repossessed because she was so broke, how debt collectors were hassling her.

She enjoyed a really active social life (mainly at other people's expense) and long-haul holidays, all the while claiming her life was terrible and dishing out another household job or expense to someone who believed her. "Weep, wail, moan. Any chance you could print these docs for me, I'm waiting for x person to give me their old printer"

Hats off for her combination of scrounging and getting people to become her personal household staff!

calleyw

BigAunty wrote: »

Hats off for her combination of scrounging and getting people to become her personal household staff!

Just could not do that. Would not sit right with me.

I got a free oil change the other day. I supplied the oil and filter. And it was in the guy's own time.

I offered him something for doing it he refused. My friend said its ok but he owes me loads of favors. Still did not sit right with me.

Some people have the cheek of the devil :rotfl:

I need to toughen up me thinks.

Yours

Calley