Miserly friends

Mrs_Optimist

I don't have miserly friends but do have miserly in-laws (or some of them at least).


Case in point we went out for a family meal with our in-laws and our 2 children. We had 4 main meals, no starters or sides or puddings. Bought our drinks separately at the bar because we were paying for 4 rather than 2. When it came to the bill it was decided that we would split the bill - and our children were included in the head count!! So instead of paying £60 we ended up paying £88 - we in effect subsidised the bottles of wine, starters and side dishes ordered by the rest of the group.


I wouldn't have minded so much deducting the kids bill from the main bill and diving the balance between the remaining group, but to include two non-wage earning children in the calculation was a step too far and I will be well prepared next time and ask for separate bills!!

elona

I care and I suspect quite a few others do as well.

jaylee3

elona wrote: »

I care and I suspect quite a few others do as well.

Awwww..... thank you. How sweet.

You get a kiss too, and some hugs, :kisses2:

:heart2:

Mayflower10cat

Even within your own family, you get those with short arms/long pockets! Husband and I, my parents and my sister plus husband and their two very fussy teenage children meet up for family birthdays and I always groan inwardly. BiL suggests we split the bill. By this he means, divide it in four. The fussy teenagers order food which invariably they play with and end up leaving (argh!) plus ordering endless glasses of coke. BiL always orders a starter, even though no-one else ever does. So we sit and wait as he devours a starter. He will usually add lots of side orders (for the table) which he mainly eats... Recently at a pizzeria, he ordered several portions of bruschetta 'for the table' which baffled me - why do you want more tomato-ey garlicky bread when everyone is having pizza? And big pizzas, too! He must have the thickest skin in the world as my Dad has quietly 'had a few words' and my husband has also said quite bluntly that if BiL ever orders a starter when no-one else is having one, he's leaving.


When we all go out to eat, it's a table of 8 and for most restaurants, that's a big table. Food takes that bit longer to come out of the kitchen. And if just one person orders a starter it usually means we all wait anything up to an hour for our mains (yes, I've timed it!)


And a final niggle, my BiL is the last person to offer to pay for the whole table. At my Dad's 75th birthday meal, Dad went off to pay for everyone. My husband beat him to the till and said, no, you can't pay for your birthday dinner that's not fair! And he paid for everyone. BiL said later, oh we must pay for our meals. My husband said no it's fine, but BiL insisted. My husband quickly worked out what their four meals came to and BiL said, Oh I'll send you a cheque if that's Ok.


Still waiting... And that was three years ago!

Dozey_crow

This thread is quite eye opening. I once had the misfortune to work with people who were in the "order everything and split the bill" brigade. At the time I earnt 12k per year and had all the usual expenses to pay house, travel etc. The rest of the department earnt between £35\£70k. The first time I was invited to the Christmas do I went with the intention of spending what I could afford (£20 enough for pizza and a glass of wine and a tip checked online before I went). We got there bottles of wine, starters for the table, olives and goodness knows what appeared. I didn't touch that and got my wine from the bar. At the end the book was £45 each!! I did protest but was cowed down so I paid it but was very resentful.

A few months later was a leaving do at lunchtime. I looked on in amazement as the same scenario enfolded. I was very sorry of money had a jacket potato, coke and a50p tip (food and service were appalling they were lucky to get that!) Totaling a £5. I put that in when the bill came. Someone said shall we split I said I won't I put mine in I only had.... And listed it. The silence was deafening. "That's not how we do things we will have to pay more".. I stuck with it and they eventually paid £25 each at lunchtime.. Crazy.

aileth

Dozey_crow wrote: »

This thread is quite eye opening. I once had the misfortune to work with people who were in the "order everything and split the bill" brigade. At the time I earnt 12k per year and had all the usual expenses to pay house, travel etc. The rest of the department earnt between £35\£70k. The first time I was invited to the Christmas do I went with the intention of spending what I could afford (£20 enough for pizza and a glass of wine and a tip checked online before I went). We got there bottles of wine, starters for the table, olives and goodness knows what appeared. I didn't touch that and got my wine from the bar. At the end the book was £45 each!! I did protest but was cowed down so I paid it but was very resentful.

A few months later was a leaving do at lunchtime. I looked on in amazement as the same scenario enfolded. I was very sorry of money had a jacket potato, coke and a50p tip (food and service were appalling they were lucky to get that!) Totaling a £5. I put that in when the bill came. Someone said shall we split I said I won't I put mine in I only had.... And listed it. The silence was deafening. "That's not how we do things we will have to pay more".. I stuck with it and they eventually paid £25 each at lunchtime.. Crazy.

Good on you for sticking up for yourself! Some people really do take the P.

Dozey_crow

aileth wrote: »

Good on you for sticking up for yourself! Some people really do take the P.

Yeah.. Your not kidding. I didn't go to anything after that and a colleague asked me why. I explained that I didn't like the extravagant ordering\eating and expectation to split the bill. He said"oh I like that as if you split the bill you can afford stuff you'd never buy normally and you can drink loads if you do it fast! ":eek:

Unreal.

Hedgehog99

Dozey_crow wrote: »

This thread is quite eye opening. I once had the misfortune to work with people who were in the "order everything and split the bill" brigade....

Me too
My choices are almost always cheaper and I didn't used to drink much (not at all now) & yet the others (all earning more) would get nasty about splitting bills / buying rounds. Their drinks bill alone would be horrendous, plus expensive food. I stopped going.

I'd much rather people buy their own (or pay within household groups) rather than one person paying for everyone. Parents should pay for their own kids when children. Even if you meet up often enough for your "turn" to come round regularly, I wouldn't like the big expense to worry about or the fact that anyone else had undertaken a big expense on my behalf.

Gavin83

zarf2007 wrote: »

Then he should refrain from making stupid statements that are saying "it didn't happen to me so it couldn't happen".

Either your purposely argumentative or you've taken me totally out of context as I was agreeing with you more than anything. If you've got this level of attitude with people on your side I'd hate to see how you are with people who disagree with you.

purpleshoes_2

I was out for a meal last week and I had a starter and no one else did. You can always ask for the starter to come at the same time as the main. I know it must be tough when its family but if someone is taking the mick, I wouldnt go for a meal with them. Or id go somewhere where you get a set menu and if someone wants unlimited cokes, they pay for them.

I dont always have a pudding, prefer starter and main to main and pudding.