Heartbroken, my husband left me this morning for another woman

purpleshoes_2

VestanPance wrote: »

Yes, people have affairs because they're scum.

Good luck OP.

The last time you called someone scum you disappeared from the boards for a while.

It's pretty clear from your postings that someone hurt you badly but I don't think you do yourself any favours by the way you post.

At all.

Person_one

Nobody is ever to blame for their partner cheating unless they had a gun to their head and actually forced them to do the deed.

Decent people who are unhappy in their relationships either do what it takes to work on it, or they leave them honourably.

I'm pretty appalled that we couldn't even manage a page of replies before certain posters started hinting that you might be to blame.

DUTR

Person_one wrote: »

Nobody is ever to blame for their partner cheating unless they had a gun to their head and actually forced them to do the deed.

Decent people who are unhappy in their relationships either do what it takes to work on it, or they leave them honourably.

I'm pretty appalled that we couldn't even manage a page of replies before certain posters started hinting that you might be to blame.

I hope you were not hinting at me?
As I never said the Op was to blame, what is fact is we cannot predict what is going on inside someone else's head.

j.e.j.

Well given some of the responses on the other thread where the guy did the decent thing and split up with his girlfriend (ie did not have an affair) I think a man can't do any right on this board.

The poor bloke was absolutely vilified.

j.e.j.

purpleshoes wrote: »

The last time you called someone scum you disappeared from the boards for a while.

It's pretty clear from your postings that someone hurt you badly but I don't think you do yourself any favours by the way you post.

At all.

I don't think that's very fair.

And I seem to remember you disappeared for a while, too..

lulu_92

j.e.j. wrote: »

Well given some of the responses on the other thread where the guy did the decent thing and split up with his girlfriend (ie did not have an affair) I think a man can't do any right on this board.

The poor bloke was absolutely vilified.

I agree in relation to that post but not with this one.

There's no excuse for anyone to cheat.

j.e.j.

lulu_92 wrote: »

I agree in relation to that post but not with this one.

There's no excuse for anyone to cheat.

No there isn't. He should have been honest and said to her that it's over and then moved on.

purpleshoes_2

j.e.j. wrote: »

I don't think that's very fair.

And I seem to remember you disappeared for a while, too..

I asked the mods to shut my previous account down due to being trolled by someone who was a tad unhinged and it being the subject of ongoing debate/discussion/call it what you will. They disabled it so I couldn't post from it at my request. I asked them to PPR me at first because they couldnt remove the account but they were able to disable the account so I couldn't post without me being PPR'd. I spoke about it on some threads before I went, wasn't a secret. I made a new account a few weeks later and started posting. That's not disappearing. It was only when someone saw my photo which I only put on a couple of months ago, recognised me and wrongly assumed I had two active accounts and someone reported me to the mods (getting me a lifetime ban in the process) and when I was kindly outed on a thread as my previous username that there was any issue with it at all. Otherwise Id have been posting as I was before my photo went on with no fuss.

Not that that has anything to do with this thread, but I stand by what I said above, the last time the user who called someone scum on these boards did so, they were unable to post on the boards for a few weeks. Clearly people took offence to what had been said and reported the comments.

I don't think its wise to keep using that language no matter what you've been through yourself, because at some point, other posters are going to take offence.

mgdavid

Person_one wrote: »

......
I'm pretty appalled that we couldn't even manage a page of replies before certain posters started hinting that you might be to blame.

Hints and inferences aside, the OP stated it first (post 15).

katonia

tea_lover wrote: »

You are not to blame, and in time you will see that xx. If he was unhappy in the relationship he had the choice of acting like a grown up and talking to you about it. Instead he chose to be a selfish pr*ck and have an affair. That is not your fault, not at all.

100% this happened to me recently too-will get better in time you will see they are just not worth your love and you will be happy