Heartbroken, my husband left me this morning for another woman

Bluebell68

Wish I had some words that would help
I am very sorry you are going through this

Bluebell68
xx

DUTR

purpleshoes wrote: »

No it's not but I assume that most people who are married don't expect their partners to be having affairs. Not sure that complacency has much to do with it either, people have affairs for all sorts of reasons.

I don't want the thread to be side tracked, however I do notice many of the regulars (often accuse of controlling partners etc) they are the ones that 'run tings' or so they like to portray on here, I'm sure those that are having affairs deep down wish they never had to resort to such a practice, but whilst the grass may not be greener on the other side, right now it's not green enough at home.
Several people have asked the OP if this was out of the blue?
This has not been answered (as far as I can see from the thread) but even so, it doesn't change how the OP is feeling about the loss and all that follows in the near future.

VestanPance

purpleshoes wrote: »

No it's not but I assume that most people who are married don't expect their partners to be having affairs. Not sure that complacency has much to do with it either, people have affairs for all sorts of reasons.

Yes, people have affairs because they're scum.

Good luck OP.

paigesaunt

Sorry, been on the phone discovering there are 2 charging orders attached to the house.
It was out of the blue, never imagined he would do that to me a 3rd time (first wife more) and I know I'm to blame to a degree, he has lots of hang ups about himself, always moody, not very confident, whereas Im the complete opposite, very happy, love family (he hates my family and my adult son) so kind of ignored him because I couldn't be bothered with his childish moods.
I have always loved him, but always been very scared to show him, don't know how to word why.
We have had a very volitile relationship, but always managed to make promises to each other to be nicer in the future because we loved each other.
Iam totally to blame, if I had shown him I loved him, he wouldn't have looked elsewhere, I should have learnt the first and second time, I know all I have done his pushed him away, and now it's too late, he's met someone who will make him feel good about himself.

purpleshoes_2

paigesaunt wrote: »

Sorry, been on the phone discovering there are 2 charging orders attached to the house.
It was out of the blue, never imagined he would do that to me a 3rd time (first wife more) and I know I'm to blame to a degree, he has lots of hang ups about himself, always moody, not very confident, whereas Im the complete opposite, very happy, love family (he hates my family and my adult son) so kind of ignored him because I couldn't be bothered with his childish moods.
I have always loved him, but always been very scared to show him, don't know how to word why.
We have had a very volitile relationship, but always managed to make promises to each other to be nicer in the future because we loved each other.
Iam totally to blame, if I had shown him I loved him, he wouldn't have looked elsewhere, I should have learnt the first and second time, I know all I have done his pushed him away, and now it's too late, he's met someone who will make him feel good about himself.

First and second time? Do you mean hes cheated on you before?

He hates your family and your adult son? You are blaming yourself??

aileth

You are NOT at all to blame. From your description, it sounds as if you are 10 million times better off without him.

DUTR

VestanPance wrote: »

Yes, people have affairs because they're scum.

Good luck OP.

So the lady that has a husband that drinks and gambles all the housekeeping knocks her about etc decides to find someone new and things happen before the divorce???

purpleshoes_2

aileth wrote: »

You are NOT at all to blame. From your description, it sounds as if you are 10 million times better off without him.

I wouldn't disagree with that.

DUTR

paigesaunt wrote: »

Sorry, been on the phone discovering there are 2 charging orders attached to the house.
It was out of the blue, never imagined he would do that to me a 3rd time (first wife more) and I know I'm to blame to a degree, he has lots of hang ups about himself, always moody, not very confident, whereas Im the complete opposite, very happy, love family (he hates my family and my adult son) so kind of ignored him because I couldn't be bothered with his childish moods.
I have always loved him, but always been very scared to show him, don't know how to word why.
We have had a very volitile relationship, but always managed to make promises to each other to be nicer in the future because we loved each other.
Iam totally to blame, if I had shown him I loved him, he wouldn't have looked elsewhere, I should have learnt the first and second time, I know all I have done his pushed him away, and now it's too late, he's met someone who will make him feel good about himself.

It's not all your fault :eek:

tea_lover

You are not to blame, and in time you will see that xx. If he was unhappy in the relationship he had the choice of acting like a grown up and talking to you about it. Instead he chose to be a selfish pr*ck and have an affair. That is not your fault, not at all.