Boyfriend potentially owes his ex money, advice needed please

duchy

Second hand sheets, second hand furniture realistically the value isn't likely to be more than a couple of hundred less her fifty percent.

It sounds like it was his choice to leave rather than she asked him to leave and if he had nowhere to store half the furniture at that point should he in fairness be deducting from his hundred quid something for her storing his half of the stuff too so a year of storage may even be more than the value of his share of the goods so he may actually owe her.

I agree that you are only hearing one side of the story ....... For example why the split was so sudden that there was no time for him to take anything more than his clothes....... Most relationships that just burn out there's time to plan ....... He's going to cast her as the bad guy and him as perfect ......most relationships aren't like that as if she was that bad why was he living with her in the first place. I'd let him sort out his mess .....not your problem.

DaveTheMus

I think the real story OP is that you've been nagging your BF to tell her to 'get stuffed', hence the reason he paid half....

The two of you are made for each other.

barbiedoll

I don't think that there is any need to have a dig at the OP, she is asking for advice on what her BF should do about this alleged debt, she didn't ask for relationship advice.

My ex-husband's ex was a bit of a nightmare after their split, even though she had left him. He received a list of her things from their house that she wanted back which included things like teaspoons, a wooden stick called a "dibber" which is used by gardeners to make small holes in soil to plant seedlings (it was made from a broken broom handle) and 3 of the 6 matching mugs (and the mug tree) which they had bought together whilst on holiday. The list was 3 pages long and also included sheets and towels, the bathroom fittings (toilet roll holder and tooth mug holder), and even photo frames (minus the photos).

We can all argue about whether the money was a loan or a gift and we can't really tell how a judge would see it. But to be honest, for the sake of £700, if I were your BF I'd give her the money just to get rid of her.

Of course, he could always be as bloody-minded as her, and give her the money in £1 and 50p coins?

[Deleted User]

Yes, reading some of your replies, I suspect as well that there is probably more to this story than you know.., he WILL tell the 'favourable to him' side of the story. Everyone would. She could be a vengeful, vindictive ex, its not unknown, but she could also have been used. He could be a little on the manipulative side.., it sounds like he's already got you emotionally involved in the situation (sorry for him). Only you can decide.

Personally, I'd keep out of it. But be careful yourself with your finances and promises he makes, take this situation as a little red flag. If nothing else, there would seem to be financial management problems if he had a car and can't afford insurance. He could have looked at his finances and said, ok, I can't afford this furniture so I'll make do with x (or whatever caused him to not be able to afford insurance).., can't afford a car so I'll do 'y'. No one forced the loan or car down his throat.

Been there done it, come out of a relationship and I have to be honest, I have huge sympathy with his ex.., and react in the same way she does in some situations now! At the time I thought she was being unreasonable. She wasn't. There were good reasons for her attitude.

Guest101

OP just to summarise for you.

Q1: does my partner owe ex money?
A1: if your partner male or female? - female = owes nothing, tell the loser ex to swivel. Male = ?!?! Omg he has a penis! Devil, burn him!!!

The usual sort of message on these forum.

Think I'll start a petition to rename it 'loose women'

dancingfairy

Only your Other half knows what was/wasn't agreed. Personally I'd be inclined to say that the car insurance was joint /use of the car was joint so he'd paid his half back. If she wants the rest she can take him to court.
df

duchy

dancingfairy wrote: »

Only your Other half knows what was/wasn't agreed. Personally I'd be inclined to say that the car insurance was joint /use of the car was joint so he'd paid his half back. If she wants the rest she can take him to court.
df

I read it as she had paid for insurance on *his* car and she had her own in addition so he'd owe it all.

Thinking about it I don't have my own car -I don't need one for work and use my OH's rarely for my own stuff (eg less than once a month for anything substantial without him and the odd supermarket run-otherwise we use it together and he drives). He uses it for work, visiting his Mum and the grandkids .... If he was short and I paid the insurance I'd expect him to pay me back the lion's share if we split (but so would he).