Boyfriend potentially owes his ex money, advice needed please

kitrat

FBaby wrote: »

Except that in reality, it probably wasn't a gift. The fact that she didn't make him sign a note to say that he had to pay it back doesn't make it a gift either. His agreeing to start repaying clearly means that he didn't consider it a gift either and most likely only doing so now because it just suits him.

As for the furniture, why wait a year to try to sort something out? Again, it strikes as him agreeing that he wasn't entitled to it then, but suddenly wanting to pursue it because of the loan. It is very difficult to know what a likely court outcome would be without knowing who came with what, who paid what during the relationship, who is paying for the loan if any was paid on credit card etc... and to be frank, I very much doubt you will ever know all the truth either OP. It is amazing how grey these arrangements become once in a new relationship. I would stay out of it.

Mmhmm as I say I dont think it would be such a bad thing to pay her back, but it is just wrong if the way she has benefitted it not also taken into account, and yes a year down the line is not really the time to be drawing up the agreement but I think this has been argued about before now as well. Indeed I dont know all the details, I just want to be able to give advice about what his responsibilities are and to save him any court drama, it shouldn't have to get that far.

kitrat

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

If when he accepted the money he accepted it as a loan and agreed to pay it back, then the agreement is legally enforceable. Her later 'promise' to forgive the debt doesn't change the status of the contract (because there was no consideration from him for that promise) so it remains enforceable and she should win if she sues for the balance. (There are some really good, solid old legal precedents on this point)

As for counter-suing for the joint property - he could, but would need to be able to prove what he purchased, when and what he paid and also that she kept the stuff. He may be entitled to half the value of the joint property but his case will be harder to prove.

Thanks, good to know.

kitrat

I think he's going to see a solicitor and if they say he's better off just giving her all the rest he will do so.

kitrat

Just to reiterate for clarity I dont think he has waited till now to sort out the furniture situation, I think they've argued this back and forth since they broke up they just never came to any agreement.

BigAunty

I would get the boyf to ask on the housing forum how he can get his belongings back or be compensated for them.

Here is advice aimed at landlords which tells them how they must respect abandoned belongings from their tenants, just to give you an idea of what should happen. I know your ex's situation is within a relationship and he would perhaps be her lodger, permitted occupier or the landlord's tenant (not sure which) but perhaps this still applies?

There is a relationship breakdown section on Shelter (housing advice charity) - perhaps their advice service could give him pointers on his rights to collect all his belongings.

http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/content/uncollected-goods

http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/content/uncollected-goods-in-rentals

kitrat

BigAunty wrote: »

I would get the boyf to ask on the housing forum how he can get his belongings back or be compensated for them.

Here is advice aimed at landlords which tells them how they must respect abandoned belongings from their tenants, just to give you an idea of what should happen. I know your ex's situation is within a relationship and he would perhaps be her lodger, permitted occupier or the landlord's tenant (not sure which) but perhaps this still applies?

There is a relationship breakdown section on Shelter (housing advice charity) - perhaps their advice service could give him pointers on his rights to collect all his belongings.

http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/content/uncollected-goods

http://www.landlordzone.co.uk/content/uncollected-goods-in-rentals

Thanks very much, I'll take a look

BitterAndTwisted

If she said the money given was a gift there is nothing which can suddenly transform it into a loan. Unless there was something in writing at the time in which he agreed to pay it back or acknowledged that it was a loan and not a gift between partners. That he has paid her certain sums since can't transmogrify a gift into a loan either.

In your b/f's situation I would cease all communication about this and wait until she's issued court documents for the return of the balance. I suspect he's likely to be waiting a very long time indeed.

Morally and legally he owes her nothing and that's what she should have got from him.

gunsandbanjos

January20 wrote: »

I don't agree with this at all! It's like her giving him an expensive Christmas gift at the beginning of the relationship and 3 years later when they split up, ask for it back!

She had said it was a gift, she shouldn't have changed her mind. That is not fair!
.

My ex husband did this! We were together 10 years, child together and he demanded every single thing he had ever bought me back:rotfl: he really was a prize knob.

kitrat

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

If she said the money given was a gift there is nothing which can suddenly transform it into a loan. Unless there was something in writing at the time in which he agreed to pay it back or acknowledged that it was a loan and not a gift between partners. That he has paid her certain sums since can't transmogrify a gift into a loan either.

In your b/f's situation I would cease all communication about this and wait until she's issued court documents for the return of the balance. I suspect he's likely to be waiting a very long time indeed.

Morally and legally he owes her nothing and that's what she should have got from him.

Thankyou, its so hard to know what to do as there are so many different opinions on it. I hope you're right here, I just worry about the consequences if you're not :S if you go to court and loose are there additional fees?

kitrat

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

My ex husband did this! We were together 10 years, child together and he demanded every single thing he had ever bought me back:rotfl: he really was a prize knob.

Ugh what a beep lol. My ex and I got burgled, the insurance money went back to him after we split so we needed to agree an amount for him to give to me. I lost all my jewellery and he argued he should have the money for that as he bought some of it for me at birthdays etc, I asked him if he was going to be buying me replacement jewellery then?!