Boyfriend potentially owes his ex money, advice needed please

kitrat

FBaby wrote: »

Could it be that they are stuck in a vicious circle in that she won't discuss him having some of the furniture because he is not agreeing to pay the rest of the loan, that if he paid it, then maybe she would consider an arrangement for the furniture? Do you actually know who paid what for the furniture? Does he have any receipts? Were these paid in full or on credit cards? Are they all repaid?

What kind of insurance cost £1300? Also, it is not usually something you would give as a gift, so not helping him.

That could be the case and the short answer is I dont know about that stuff except they shared the cost equally. Car insurance for a new driver.

Ok solicitor definitely sounds like a poor idea.

kitrat

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, so he should just forget any idea that she owes him money for household stuff they bought jointly and then jointly used for 4 years. He got his money's worth, and it won't have any value now anyway.

Ok will bear this is mind as I sort of see your point though I fund it hard as obviously it still has value cos it would cost either of them considerably to replace them and I dont think it should just be assumed that she should keep them cos she has a right to stay in the house. Never mind, it is too complicated this far down the line.

Person_one

kitrat wrote: »

Ok will bear this is mind as I sort of see your point though I fund it hard as obviously it still has value cos it would cost either of them considerably to replace them and I dont think it should just be assumed that she should keep them cos she has a right to stay in the house. Never mind, it is too complicated this far down the line.

Please be careful with this man.

A few years down the line another woman could be on here describing you as the unreasonable ex after you going above and beyond for him like the last ex apparently did, it wouldn't surprise me.

fluffnutter

redpete wrote: »

Seems quite reasonable to change her mind about the gift / loan. The gift was made in the context of a happy relationship that they presumably both expected to last. When the relationship ended why would the BF expect to keep the money he had been given?

Not sure this assertion has any legal basis whatsoever.

A gift is a gift is a gift. You can't turn round years later and change the conditions under which that gift was made. However, proving what conditions were attached to money given to partners is very difficult.

Mojisola

fluffnutter wrote: »

A gift is a gift is a gift. You can't turn round years later and change the conditions under which that gift was made.

I agree with your position on this.

If he hadn't started repaying the 'loan' but had kept saying "It was a gift", she'd really struggle to prove otherwise.

By starting to repay, he's accepted her assertion that it was a loan and not a gift.

FBaby

Who paid for the car and now has it?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

kitrat wrote: »

He didn't live there rent free. You have no idea about the circumstances of why the money was given, or the conditions of him having to leave or of the losses he suffered. You are drawing a conclusion with only half the picture in front of you.

1. That's why I said 'on the face of it'.

2. If you don't want people to get things wrong, have you considered giving them more of the relevant facts up front, rather than getting cross and then issuing corrections?

[Deleted User]

The outcome of this will depend on both of their personalities. If the case went to court, its unlikely he'd end up any worse off than he was (unless repayments were set higher). He will also have to weigh up whether the ex will actually take him to court to get the money back that he borrowed. Only he can judge that. However.., I'd wonder if the ex could think of things to add on to the original amount that might be granted? Only he can know that.

But it is likely that as he was paying the money he borrowed back, if taken to court, he'd be viewed as owing that money unless he had proof (even a text) saying she'd said to not pay it back. If he was paying back, it was a mutually agreed debt. Even with the proof she agreed he didn't owe the money at some point, him paying some of it back at a later date will make the situation difficult for him.

With the furniture, he'd have to have proof of original cost, that he contributed to that cost, and then they'd take off wear and tear..,so what he'd get would be very little really.

But another personality angle comes into this if it goes to court.., the personality of the judge and how he/she is feeling on the day.

LawGraduate22

deannatrois wrote: »

The outcome of this will depend on both of their personalities. If the case went to court, its unlikely he'd end up any worse off than he was (unless repayments were set higher). He will also have to weigh up whether the ex will actually take him to court to get the money back that he borrowed. Only he can judge that. However.., I'd wonder if the ex could think of things to add on to the original amount that might be granted? Only he can know that.

But it is likely that as he was paying the money he borrowed back, if taken to court, he'd be viewed as owing that money unless he had proof (even a text) saying she'd said to not pay it back. If he was paying back, it was a mutually agreed debt. Even with the proof she agreed he didn't owe the money at some point, him paying some of it back at a later date will make the situation difficult for him.

With the furniture, he'd have to have proof of original cost, that he contributed to that cost, and then they'd take off wear and tear..,so what he'd get would be very little really.

But another personality angle comes into this if it goes to court.., the personality of the judge and how he/she is feeling on the day.

This is great advice. Your OH has essentially accepted that the money is a debt rather than a gift by making repayments on it already - therefore if he is taken to court it will be seen as exactly that. And as stated above, after 4 years of wear and tear any amount deducted for the household goods/furniture would be minimal.

If your OH really doesn't want to pay back this money unless he has to then my advice would be to ignore any contact that isn't official i.e only respond when (or if) his ex actually issues court proceedings. Best thing to do then is to pay it all back before going to court and hence avoid the potential costs he could be ordered to pay on top of the initial debt were he to lose (which he most likely would).

Best of luck to you both anyway whatever you decide!

pebbles88

Person_one wrote: »

Please be careful with this man.

A few years down the line another woman could be on here describing you as the unreasonable ex after you going above and beyond for him like the last ex apparently did, it wouldn't surprise me.

^^^ this,

Obviously you know more about him than us on here. But from experience, I'd be highly certain that he hasn't told you the whole story. I hope it's not a repeat situation for you in a few years time, & make sure you don't lend him any money.


As you said, you were going to speak to him face to face , I guess he'd only told you some of it over text?
If he's adult enough to get into these situations, he's adult enough to deal with it himself. He's capable of finding this information out for himself. I wouldn't want a new partner having to help me sort anything from previous relationships.