Boyfriend potentially owes his ex money, advice needed please

kitrat

I'm not sure if this is the right board so please move if necessary. I am a bit thin on details at the moment but here is the situation as far as I know:

BF was given money by his ex-GF when they were seeing each other, she said 4 years ago when they moved in together that he didn't have to pay her back. When they broke up a year ago she decided she wanted the money back, he has been paying her back and has paid £600. He has now basically told her to get lost and see a solicitor if she wants any more money, she says she has done so and he can expect a letter soon demanding £700.

BF has been advised by a friend that he could 'counter-sue' for the loss of possessions he suffered when she kicked him out overnight (house owned by her dad I think), from what I understand this is all furniture and household stuff which he couldn't get back from her or have a share of. His friend suggested her solicitor would hopefully advise her to just walk away and leave it at that.

Does this sound likely? Is this a good course of action to take? It's hard to know what to do as I think it was wrong of her to change her mind but since he has started paying her back it does look like he accepts the debt and I doubt they would take his side in court? Obviously he doesn't want it to get that far and nor do I.

I have heard about these half hour free consultations with solicitors, will they write a letter for free in this time? I have never used a solicitor before I have literally no clue about them. Does writing a letter himself hold any weight if he can’t afford a solicitor to do one and if so could someone please point me in the right direction of a template if such a thing exists?

Thanks for any advice.

suicidebob

Good luck. He sounds like a keeper!

kitrat

suicidebob wrote: »

Good luck. He sounds like a keeper!

Not sure how you've come to that conclusion as I've given very little detail.

redpete

Seems quite reasonable to change her mind about the gift / loan. The gift was made in the context of a happy relationship that they presumably both expected to last. When the relationship ended why would the BF expect to keep the money he had been given?

Without the complication of the possessions he left in the house I would expect him to continue paying back the money. If there really are possessions that are worth something then they need to act like adults and agree either that he gets everything of his back and she gets her money back, or that a realistic value is put on the possessions and the loan is reduced by this amount.

Chances of them agreeing are possibly slim - Judge Judy has made hundreds of programmes based on similar circumstances.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

kitrat wrote: »

Not sure how you've come to that conclusion as I've given very little detail.

Possibly because, on the face of it, the woman provided him with somewhere to live and a substantial sum of money over a number of years?

gettingtheresometime

Why did he tell her to get lost when he'd paid at least half the debt?

kitrat

redpete wrote: »

Seems quite reasonable to change her mind about the gift / loan. The gift was made in the context of a happy relationship that they presumably both expected to last. When the relationship ended why would the BF expect to keep the money he had been given?

Without the complication of the possessions he left in the house I would expect him to continue paying back the money. If there really are possessions that are worth something then they need to act like adults and agree either that he gets everything of his back and she gets her money back, or that a realistic value is put on the possessions and the loan is reduced by this amount.

Chances of them agreeing are possibly slim - Judge Judy has made hundreds of programmes based on similar circumstances.

Thanks, these are the lines along which I was thinking. So it would be a matter of working out a realistic value to the furniture or possessions (unless he can get any back), detailing this in a letter, deducting half the value from what he needs to repay and offering that repayment? Would a letter written by himself be alright or would it be best coming from a solicitor?

kitrat

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Why did he tell her to get lost when he'd paid at least half the debt?

I haven't had a chance to chat with him face-to-face about it yet so I'm not sure but I expect as she sounds like a rather difficult character he may have just come to the end of his tether with her and snapped back a bit. I think he resents all the stuff he lost from her and yet she doesn't feel any responsibility to him for that.

kitrat

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Possibly because, on the face of it, the woman provided him with somewhere to live and a substantial sum of money over a number of years?

He didn't live there rent free. You have no idea about the circumstances of why the money was given, or the conditions of him having to leave or of the losses he suffered. You are drawing a conclusion with only half the picture in front of you.

mije1983

In having paid back nearly half of the money, it could look like he has accepted that this was a loan and not a gift. If she does take it all the way to small claims it's entirely possible that the ruling would come down in her favour becuase of this.

With regards to the possessions, were they his originally or were they bought by both of them while they were in a relationship? Or even bought by him for the house in lieu of rent or bill payments if she paid those?

kitrat

mije1983 wrote: »

In having paid back nearly half of the money, it could look like he has accepted that this was a loan and not a gift. If she does take it all the way to small claims it's entirely possible that the ruling would come down in her favour becuase of this.

With regards to the possessions, were they his originally or were they bought by both of them while they were in a relationship? Or even bought by him for the house in lieu of rent or bill payments if she paid those?

Thanks for the advice. I will try and come back tomorrow when I have actual facts in hand, however I think they were things they bought together (like sofas for example, kitchen goods), I think they basically furnished a house together and he left only with his possessions (clothes, books, etc). As I say I'll find out for certain when I can talk to him properly.