We all need to be heard for a little while.

Waves_and_Smiles

What a lovely pic! You have had a busy day, Pyxis! I have never tried orange ale, I need to remedy that...

elsien

WaS, if it were me I'd say something to him. If you don't mind some of the less identifiable stuff being out there, ask him to at least take out the school, the timeframe, the details of the abuse and anything else that worries you.
Alternatively, ask him to take the whole lot down. Copy him in to your post, which is articulate and perfectly reasonable and shouldn't upset him.

Put it this way, I don't have paranoia and anxiety, but I wouldn't like all that info out there about me unless I'd okayed it first. There's nothing wrong with valuing your privacy, hard though it is with social media. Which is why, although I put pictures of Gitdog up, there's none of me on any of the sites I belong to. And especially not on facebook.

He's your friend. He'll understand. And he'd probably be more upset if you were stressing about it and didnt feel able to tell him.

System

Went to hand in my cv but got told the job has already gone so much for that then.

Feeling meh today.

Pyxis

WaS, several thoughts in response to your post.

Firstly, there's no reason why your former work colleagues would read the blog of your old head teacher.

Secondly, anyone who knew you from school might identify you, but it may be no more than a passing thought for them, quickly forgotten.

Thirdly, they might not identify you. You know it's you, and you may think the info your head teacher has given results in a huge flashing neon arrow pointing to your flat and saying 'Here she is!' But in actual fact it might not be that obvious to people many years down the line.
Assuming they even read his blog.

And for the very few who may know for sure that it is you, it might touch their hearts, it might fill in the missing pieces of a jigsaw that worried them at the time, so that they think of you with kindly thoughts, and send caring wishes to you through the ether.
Most people wouldn't judge you or think badly of you, just as you wouldn't think badly of them if the situation were reversed. :A

Congrats on the snow!!!




((((((((((((xXMessedUpXx))))))))))))

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw I am sorry MU. There will be other great jobs out there, don't give up!

Thank you elsien and Pyxis. Perhaps I will go for the middle ground and ask him to remove a couple of details. It is a very positive post explaining how he relates to the authors book after going through my life with me and how I have come through so much just like she did. A lot of the problem is my shame, as silly as it sounds I want everyone who helped me back then think I was totally fine due to their help and ended up with a marvellous career and 2.4 children and a dog. I feel like the way I ended up is a slap in the face to them for all the effort they put into helping me, which I do know is ridiculous. I currently have a tiny urge to comment on his post and say I am so sorry I let everyone down, you all tried so hard for me and I lost it all and you all wasted your time. I won't though.

We have come up against this problem before in the past when he told a colleague who knew me back then all about me now. He is incredibly proud of me and feels everyone should know what I went through and that I am still here. He doesn't understand at all why there is so much shame involved for me.

elsien

I think Pyxis makes some fair points. And there's probably not much point us telling you there's nothing to be ashamed of because your head already know that even if the rest of you struggles with it. You didn't let anyone down, you were the person who was let down by the family who should have protected you. But if that's how you feel about it, that's how you feel.
But I'm glad you're holding off from posting an apology. If I had any inkling where it was (which I don't) I'd be there with that wet fish ready and waiting just in case!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! Anything but the wet fish!

I won't post anything and when he told the colleague about me a few years ago they actually wanted me to email them. I never did because the shame and embarrassment was too much but I do know that they didn't see me as a failure. The problem is my own feelings although I do think he really should have thought about it a bit more and told me that he was going to make the post. Suddenly coming across it was a tad horrifying!

codemonkey

WaS maybe you need to think about things from a different perspective. You're not a failure - maybe everything in your life so far has been geared towards you starting this thread and helping so many people. Or writing your story and helping more people. You're not a failure then, are you?

MU - sorry about the job. Hugs.

System

You're not a failure WaS, you're life has just taken a slightly different path and thats unique to you. You made this thread, and you've brought so many people together. That's an achievement and something you should be proud of.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you. I am glad that I started this thread and if the book ever gets written then if it helps one person it's worth it. I am just being negative today, largely because it was a shock seeing my life described by accident. Plus the voices are having a great time. Two are chatting away recounting incidents where I failed at something and laughing about it, it hardly helps.

I do have to remember that my friend did this because he thinks I should be proud and because he is proud of me. If said book is ever completed this will come up again because he is adamant that I should use my real name. I mainly don't want to because my uncle is still alive to my knowledge. I do not want him tracking me down, plus he won't like what is in the book one bit so will likely be very angry if he managed it. That's for worrying about in the future though, the thing has to be completed first.