We all need to be heard for a little while.

Waves_and_Smiles

Melly, can you get OH to his GP and get a referral to a psychiatrist? If you can get that then what I have done in the past may help. I have rang and said I need an appointment urgently and they have given me one before the original appointment was due. A psychiatrist can open other avenues to counselling.

Have you tried contacting MIND? They may be able to help you, too. Another option is Saneline. They have a telephone service and will talk to your OH and also to you and offer you support.

The only other option I can think of is A&E as you were told. This will get intervention by the Community Mental Health Crisis Team but as you say getting OH there might not be easy.

Please take care of you, too. If you are fainting your body is telling you it has had enough. You can't support anyone if your own health goes down. Have you thought of seeing your GP for yourself? I know you have been there about your throat but mentioning the amount of pressure you are under might help. Also, try a smoothie today if you can face it. x

onomatopoeia99

tea_lover wrote: »

Today's is that Ayrton Senna died on this day in 1994. I'm a big fan of F1 and remember it well. .

I remember it well too, I was watching on my own as I was renting a room from a friend I knew from when we were both at uni and he was off somewhere. We had a motorsport event of our own the following day on a temporary course at an airfield (I was marshalling) and it dominated conversation for the whole day.

Imola isn't on the F! calendar any more and Monza might vanish soon too (Bernie has been making noises to that effect), so if I can get myself organised I'm going this year - been looking at airbnb and it seems possible to get a small apartment quite cheaply and within walking distance. If I do get myself there, it will give me the opportunity to practice my Italian on some unsuspecting locals, anyway

mellymoo74

think im going to have to go back to gp, knee really swollen. OH is being really horrible and I am too tired and sore to deal with it.
Tried to go to the pain clinic psychologist, its a different type apparently (its not, its all linked)
They gave me the details of somewhere else, who wouldnt speak to me and suggested A&E.
Knew he was going to get nasty (its a family default trait) hoped I would have time to regroup before it happened and get some care in place.
Forced a smoothie down WaS also ate a bit of baked potato

tea_lover

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I remember it well too, I was watching on my own as I was renting a room from a friend I knew from when we were both at uni and he was off somewhere. We had a motorsport event of our own the following day on a temporary course at an airfield (I was marshalling) and it dominated conversation for the whole day.

Imola isn't on the F! calendar any more and Monza might vanish soon too (Bernie has been making noises to that effect), so if I can get myself organised I'm going this year - been looking at airbnb and it seems possible to get a small apartment quite cheaply and within walking distance. If I do get myself there, it will give me the opportunity to practice my Italian on some unsuspecting locals, anyway

That would be amazing, would love to be brave enough to do something like that.

purpleshoes_2

tea_lover wrote: »

That would be amazing, would love to be brave enough to do something like that.

Im sure you could. I go away to Spain twice a year on my own and am a natural born worrier, every single year I go, what if I miss the bus, I buy my own transfers and one year my name wasnt on the list and I worried for a week, in between sunbathing of course, as to whether I was going to get back home:rotfl:

Its never as bad as you think its going to be, if I had more disposable income Id go away much more often.

My mum who is very much a homebird as am I has also managed to get to Italy on her tod to see a pal, but one year she only noticed while she was over there that the company had left practically no time between connections and she had to run the length of Frankfurt airport, she got on the plane and she said, I think Im going to have a heart attack, she said they took her seriously, she was just goosed from having to run that fast.

I always get the wobbles before I go, but once Im there I feel better, put it this way, even if disaster struck and I couldnt get home, much better to be stuck in Majorca than stuck in Glasgow airport.

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

Random comment alert..... my diary at work has a 'fact for the day'. Today's is that Ayrton Senna died on this day in 1994. I'm a big fan of F1 and remember it well. Not least because I was with my first boyfriend. I can remember sitting on the sofa and being v pleased when he finally put his arm round me.

Slightly disturbed to realise that was 21 years ago!! 21 years of boyfriends and husbands and I'm still no good at it :rotfl:.

Hahaha! I can beat that, Tea! 47years of boyfriends/husband and still definitely no good at it!
Perhaps I'm past redemption! :rotfl:

dragonette

Smiles, hey, what if its the boyfriends/husbands that are no good at it? Or both!

I have just put laundry out. Feeling super woozy now. Some sedentary tidying it is then, as I'm at the computer I'll do the desk drawers.

Starting to get anxious about my guests next week. Mostly trying to get the place tidy enough for me to be comfortable with them here, even though I know its way less chaotic than their place. Its very odd! When I visit others, their mess in no way tweaks me. My own flat?? Oh visual noise is extremely stressful.

Added to that is my ex has still got the one built in cupboard full of their stuff, wanting that out by the end of May. Not going to be fun, but oh I want the mental burden of it gone!

onomatopoeia99

tea_lover wrote: »

That would be amazing, would love to be brave enough to do something like that.

I think you could. If I can, anyone can - I'm not being trite, I am massively shy (that word really does not do it justice), not a confident travelller and the thought of having to talk to people or meet strangers fills me with fear, but in the last decade most of my holidays have been taken alone, because otherwise I'd not go and barely leave the house except for work!

calleyw

mellymoo74 wrote: »

think im going to have to go back to gp, knee really swollen. OH is being really horrible and I am too tired and sore to deal with it. Tried to go to the pain clinic psychologist, its a different type apparently (its not, its all linked)
They gave me the details of somewhere else, who wouldnt speak to me and suggested A&E. Knew he was going to get nasty (its a family default trait) hoped I would have time to regroup before it happened and get some care in place.

Think you need to think about yourself at the moment and sod everyone else. You just can't do it all.

I had to deal with my husband having a stroke, being in hospital for nearly 3 and half months. And having to work. Sounds easy as he was being cared for. Nope in 3 and half months I was unable to visit just twice. Other wise I was there straight after work. I would get up go to work, leave work go to the hospital, go home, do his washing and go to bed and start it all over again the next day.

Got worse when he came home. And even now we are separated I am still the one who has to deal with the days when he wants to chop off his non-functioning hand, or thinks there is nothing to carry on for.

And deal with my own mental health issues, No wonder I am not very good in my head.

Please be selfish and think of yourself as no one else does. I found that all the help was for my husband and non for me. Even more so being a carer that works!!!!

Please take care of yourself.

Yours

Calley

dragonette

Melly, do you have a local equivalent of SAMH? I know they do crisis care, sounds like a charity might be able to help both of you.

ETA: cross-posted with Calley.

Calley, that sounds like an awful strain. I am also an occasional carer for an ex partner with depressive and suicidal tendencies. Lots of (((hugs))), it can be terribly difficult but I understand the drive to continue helping.