We all need to be heard for a little while.

tea_lover

Birdie - apart from a goldfish (which was v dull lol), P cat is my first pet. We've had him for about 18 months and I really don't know what I did without him. He's the love of my life :happyhear.

ETA: it's snooker!! I am obsessed with it, always have been. But it's definitely not everyone's cup of tea. I can't think of anyone else who'd want to go. Maybe none of my mates are any good at sitting quietly!

Indie_Kid

We've always had dogs. It's strange living somewhere with no pets now. It just means I get jumped on when I get home!

codemonkey

Ok sorry for the delay. I was putting my big girl pants on (metaphorically, as I was already dressed) and going for the train. I know its an overreaction but when you're on medication that makes you gain weight like crazy, half a stone extra is a lot. Also I suspect I am overtired which makes me emotional.

Tea, my dad and DH really like snooker. It's not for me though. Also, because I'm dyscalculic, I'm am the worst snooker/pool player in the world. Once I was in the pub playing with my friends and a guy challenged me to a game. When we started playing it was obvious he was trying to let me win and that got harder and harder as the game progressed. :rotfl:

I love having dogs - I grew up with dogs and a cat. Took me a while to persuade DH to get a dog, but now we have dumbass dog who is wonderful.

mellymoo74

Panicking!!!

codemonkey

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Panicking!!!

Deep breaths

Waves_and_Smiles

Deep breaths as code says, melly. We are all here for you. Have a hug.

I slept for 19 hours! This is something of a record even for me!

Milliefleur is staying in the hospital for a few days. She has a UTI which they want to treat while they can keep an eye on her and she had a fall at home and pressed her panic button. She is bruised but not otherwise hurt. We have no idea what BIL was talking about, she had a fall at 7am yesterday morning and was in hospital by 9am, not days ago at all.

Her care plan has changed and WaSp isn't happy because he wasn't notified. Between BIL and SIL they have convinced social services that the 9pm and 8am carer isn't needed because they will be there overnight, well they weren't there when she fell yesterday! WaSp feels like he should have been included in the decision. Now, my social worker made it clear that social services were seeing WaSp and I as a separate unit and our concerns were looking after me so I kind of see why he wasn't invited to the meeting about this. However what BIL and Milliefleur's sister said would happen isn't happening! Millielfeur won't be innocent in this decision because we know she hated the 9pm and 8am carer visit, she probably jumped at the chance for it to stop. BIL also rang WaSp and yelled at him that if he helped out more this wouldn't have happened and looking after me is minor compared to what he has to do. He gave Wasp a huge guilt-trip that he isn't helping out enough and that if he stays overnight with his mum social services don't have to know.

WaSp is feeling angry and very guilty and wants to talk to social services and I feel like a total waste of space who is getting in the way of Milliefleur's care. WaSp is saying he will have to go back to staying overnight with Milliefleur which I know my social worker will block because it is against my care plan and I am not happy about about breaking it without her knowing. BIL, Milliefleur and her sister do not want the carers so we are at stalemate with Milliefleur at risk. This would be so much easier for everyone if I didn't need someone with me. I feel like a total liability who is messing everything up for everyone.

tea_lover

BIL was so drunk (at 9am!) that he couldn't tell the difference between 2 days and 2 hours - it's very clear who the liability is and it's so definitely not you my lovely.

lostinrates

Was. Put your situation aside a moment. Do you think ANY couple would see living apart in that way as sustainable or reasonable? I don't. If you were well you would both be at work and need sleep and together time at night.


Not your fault.

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you both, I just feel totally in the way. The thing is that when WaSp was staying overnight with Milliefleur he was exhausted. He was awake most of the night with her then driving for 90 minutes to stay with me and driving back in the evening. He was hardly sleeping and it was taking a huge toll on his health. He used to sit and cry because he was just so tired. He can't go back to this again, it is dangerous for him.

He is so angry that he wasn't included in the meeting although I can see why because my social worker was adamant that we stay out of it. From their point of view they are juggling two vulnerable people in the same family so I see why they are making boundaries.

I don't know what the answer is, it turns out BIL is staying overnight 2 nights a week which isn't enough. I have told Wasp that I will talk to my social worker and tell her that Milliefleur is alone most nights and what was promised isn't happening which will make me the bad guy as far as the family goes but I don't care at this point. We have to make sure that Milliefleur is safe and right now she isn't.

tea_lover

It's tough - can totally see why WaSp is annoyed at being left out, but can also see why that decision has been made. I think your plan of speaking to your SW and letting her know how things really are is a good one.