We all need to be heard for a little while.

dragonette

WaS, i think saying to your SW is the only thing you can do. It is then their problem to sort out. Grr at BIL, what a liability he is!!

Hugs for weight gain writes woes, in the same atm

I'm on day 3 of an energy crash. And it's now making me incredibly sad and low and weepy. Def struggling to look on the positive side atm. Out for a friend's bday tomorrow and want to cry rather than see buttons onto my outfit.
Things just feel too much atm. Struggling to eat too.

whitewing

WaS/WaSp, I agree with the others that WaSp needs to look after WaS and himself.

Hugs to all of you.

Waves_and_Smiles

I can see totally WaSp's point of view, it's his mum and he's worried. I can also see social services point of view that it is their job to make sure both of us have adequate care and that involves assigning people specific tasks. I am just in the middle feeling as guilty as Hell.

My social worker will call me back today and we will see where we go from here. WaSp is going to wait before visiting Milliefleur so that he can speak to her, too.

whitewing

Don't apologise for being you, WaS.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, I am trying not to, whitewing. I am just very aware that I am the spanner in the works to Milliefleurs care. If I didn't need someone with me I doubt social services would even be involved, WaSp would have a much bigger role and the family would be managing.

I loved the article on Synaesthesia. I honestly used to think that everyone saw words as colours, it was a huge shock when I realised that they don't! Usually when I think of words I see them written down in my mind, all different colours and with sparkles and glows coming off of them. Every word is a different pattern of colours. I see it when I read sometimes too, which can make reading very difficult when the whole page is awash with colours. The good side is that I can read simple sentences with often used words by their colours alone.

It helped my reading immensely when I started school, I would use crayons and draw the words in their appropriate colours. By the time I was 4 I could write sentences easily because they were just pretty drawings to me, it made it very easy for me to learn new words because they were colourful pictures and fun to draw rather than just a plain pen on a page. It was also very easy for me to define between words because none looked similar, although I would sometimes confuse my first teacher by giving her a paper full of different colourful patterns which to me were clearly words! Doesn't everyone know that "The" is a grey set of fence posts with a silver border?

elsien

Going back to Millefleur, as we've said before, if she has capacity she has the right to make unwise decisions. What no one has the right to do it to turn down care then guilt trip WaSP into providing it instead.
All you can do it to let social services, BiL and Millefleur know that when care isn't in place (and it won't be, because it isn't now) that it's their responsibility not yours. The package is there. If they choose not to accept it they then can't complain about the consequences of that choice ie more work for BiL. Who, let's not forget, is being paid to do the bits he's trying to foist onto wasp.
You both stuck to your guns the last time this came up and it turned out for the best. So do the same again. Slippery slope, and all that.

Waves_and_Smiles

Thanks elsien, we will stick to our guns again. Wasp did on the phone to BIL and clearly said he was already a carer for me but BIL didn't see how guilty Wasp felt afterwards. There is also the idea that all social workers are evil which Milliefleur also believes so they all try to deal with everything themselves and it has reached a stage where they can't. Milliefleur was my carer for years while WaSp worked and was heartbroken when she was unable to do it anymore because it meant I would need carers, she saw social services being involved as a personal failing on her part. It is very difficult to deal with things when the close family has this mindset.

elsien

May I also point out the small flaw in your reasoning that if it weren't for you the family might be coping. I would change that to if it weren't for BILs alcoholism the family would be coping. Things are what they are, and the reasons are due to a combination of factors not just one person. Which is life. Don't go down the blaming yourself route, because it's not an accurate representation of the whole situation.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you elsien. Yes, if BIL was more capable then things would be a lot easier. I am trying not to blame myself, I just wish that I could free WaSp to spend as much time with her as he wanted. The other side of that of course, is the fact that if Wasp did do more it is likely that the rest of the family, certainly BIL, would back out entirely and her full care would fall on WaSp. At least when he is looking after me he can play on his computer game server sometimes with his friends and chat, relax and have a social life. I do need him to help me with getting food, drinks, washing and medication but unless I am particularly psychotic he does get a few hours to himself each day. He wouldn't get that caring for Milliefleur full time.

tea_lover

When I finally get a new job, the one thing I'm going to miss is my early finish on a Friday. This afternoon I've cleaned the house, been to aldi, and collected lots of stuff I need for a charity event I'm helping with. Now I have the whole evening to relax with P cat