We all need to be heard for a little while.

mellymoo74

They are OHS Sister and Aunt
I am involving SS tomorrow
On phone so posting difficult

Mrs_Ryan

Evening everyone- haven't posted in a little while, sorry, hope it's ok for me to come back?
Having the worst day. Can't stop crying I found out today that potentially my last goodbye to someone very special which was supposed to be special in itself is now looking unlikely to go ahead and I'm instead going to get a snatched five minutes in a very public place in which I have to drop a big bombshell and its one year today since I said a very emotional final goodbye to someone else who was very special Ive been sobbing solidly for the last hour

jobbingmusician

Awww, Mrs Ryan, so sorry to hear that. Sometimes things work out very differently from the way we anticipate, though - I just hope this will be one of those times and that things will work out well.

As for your emotional goodbye anniversary - sometimes it's good to cry. Can you light a candle and do something very special (a rose bush? something like that) to remember that person by? I'm assuming it was a death, but come to think of it, it doesn't matter if it wasn't - your memories are still precious, and marking them in some way will help to illuminate them in your heart.

Mrs_Ryan

Thanks jobbingmusician, that's very kind. The anniversary- yes, it was a death. It's a year today since the funeral. Normally I would raise a glass to her but I'm on strong antibiotics at the moment so can't do that. I may light a candle and just have a little chat to her before bed- although she's no longer here I still feel her presence and talking to her gives me a huge sense of peace.
And yes... I hope it will work out too. It's already very difficult and messy and I hope that hopefully it will work itself out.

SingleSue

tea_lover wrote: »

Am wavering on whether to see GP or not. Am not looking for medical advice, just wanting to get a few thoughts down and hope it becomes clearer if that makes sense.

Was diagnosed with endometriosis about 10 years ago, after many years of problems. Have had 4 or 5 surgeries for this, and various other treatments. Still have the odd bad day but it has been better overall in recent years. Last surgery was 2010, haven't seen GP or consultant about it since then. At the risk of TMI, most of the problems and the worst of the pain were bowel-related (common with adhesions where I have them).

After another morning of pain, bloating, mild nausea etc (as well as constant constipation) did some googling and obviously the first thing that comes up is IBS. A LOT of endo is initially misdiagnosed as IBS, and I'd always dismissed it and thought all the problems were caused by the endo.

Had a bit of a lighbulb moment this morning and just realised that there's no reason one person couldn't have both conditions!

Am now debating whether to see GP or not bother (takes about a month to get an appt). Even if it is IBS, there's not really anything medical that could be done. Could just be that a couple of cycles of IVF drugs have worsened the endo.

Clearly - I have no idea what I'm even asking here. As you can tell, there's no one around to speak to and I'm rambling worse than ever! Just fed up of feeling a bit rubbish all the time - in some ways the awful pain days are easier to deal with than the low-level nausea and general 'meh'.

I have/had endo and IBS, so it is very possible. Although I had a hysterectomy, the endo unfortunately is still there but thankfully, doesn't cause too many problems compared to before.

Think I may be starting menopause though as the symptoms have lessened over the last year, as in, instead of being every month, it's now every 3 or 4 months.

Waves_and_Smiles

Have a good cry, Mrs_Ryan. Then think of the good times you have spent with both of these precious people and be so glad that you knew them. I do hope that your goodbye to the special person works out better than you fear, can you maybe pass them note of how you feel if it is going to be in a public place? They can read it later when it is quieter.

Mrs_Ryan

Thank you WaS x I'm giving him a present which will be in a bag and Im going to write him a letter I think. He knows partially what I feel but am unsure if he knows to the extent- I really wanted to actually say it as its one of those things you should say but a letter will have to do.

Pyxis

jobbingmusician wrote: »

tea - it might be worth you realising that deciding to do nothing (about your job) is in itself a decision. Cos otherwise it is possible that you will do nothing, then beat yourself up for doing nothing. It does sound as if you are thinking about doing nothing as a positive move, based on the benefits of your current employer.

Spot on! Code, that could be another reason for getting the pros and cons of each job down on paper in a list.....not only can it help one's decision-making, but it can also 'justify' the decision. :A

Remember to include the non-quantifiable aspects of each job too, as they're just as, if not more valid in weighing up benefits. Quality of life can be worth a lot more than extra salary!

Also, if that results in you seeing your current job in a new light, then the whole exercise was worth it, because I know you haven't been too happy with your job in recent months. :A

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

Thank you WaS x I'm giving him a present which will be in a bag and Im going to write him a letter I think. He knows partially what I feel but am unsure if he knows to the extent- I really wanted to actually say it as its one of those things you should say but a letter will have to do.

You could also start the letter off by saying you would have preferred to tell them yourself, and had planned to, but that circumstances changed, hence the letter.

Birdie85

Glad it went well yesterday SDW!

Tea, I used to have knitted Jelly Babies that my Nana made me, I'm feeling all nostalgic thinking about them! This was my favourite Nana-knitted toy though, wish I'd kept her! I love the idea of a knitters' cafe and being a knitter but I'm all fingers and thumbs. I can crochet scarves... Luckily my MIL is a great all-things-craft-er and DS has some amazing hats and jumpers, not to mention that when I was a lady of leisure going to tiny person groups we always owned the fancy dress days!

Well done on getting through the phone call Code. Like the others have said, just because the option is there don't feel like you *have* to move jobs. But, try not to stick where you are just because it's comfortable. Have a good think about all of the pros and cons, maybe even ask the new place about the option of working from home (explain your condition, they can't discriminate against you for it) if that will help. Sometimes it is good to make a decision to stay where you are and it gives you new eyes for what might feel like a stale job.

I understand having your confidence knocked by chronic pain too. Not myself so much but my Mum, who was always very active and bubbly, loved life etc is now a shell of that after suffering with plantar fasciitis for over a year now. She really struggles to walk so hates going too far from home where it's comfy and safe. She can't really do anything that she used to enjoy, even looking after her grandchildren for an afternoon leaves her in pain and sofa-bound for the evening. She can't walk far or do aquafit etc she's putting on weight which is making her feel even worse.

LIR - not sure if this is any help at all but I was reading an article yesterday which mentioned a reverse search engine for photos which tells you where the picture originates online (I think?) called tineye. Might be worth a look? Could be totally not what you're after, but then again, it might! Just popped up in my head when you mentioned a photo!

Mrs Ryan - sorry you had an awful day yesterday. I hope that the goodbye does go well and you get peace from it, I like WaS' suggestion of giving them a note too. ((hugs))

How are you feeling today WaS? Enjoying your new windows?!

tea_lover

Thinking of you Mrs Ryan. I hope that you get to say your goodbyes in a meaningful and helpful way, and that you find a way to celebrate your memories that helps. Take care x.

Birdie - I have the pattern for that doll, but have never quite braved it. I think the favourite thing I made was the four seasons mice for my Nan. Oh my, they were fiddly. But she loved them, had them on the dresser for years .