We all need to be heard for a little while.

Pyxis

Code, listen, it's ok, you don't have to move jobs, you don't have to do anything.

Look at it this way; you investigated the possibility of a 'better' job with a lot more money. That was the lure.

Then they came straight back with the offer of a phone 'interview'/chat. That's very flattering! One up for Code!

You've found out about four jobs on offer. I bet you didn't come across as a moron, but I know what you mean, I'm the same!

Now, what happens next?

In the meantime, this process has enabled you to put your current job into perspective. You've seen the merits of your current job. You could list them on paper.
Then list the merits of the potential jobs.
Then list the disadvantages of your current job and your prospective jobs.

I think that'll give you a logical answer to your dilemma.

However, remember, you don't have to do anything! There was a time when I had to make some very difficult decisions. It was agony. I didn't know what to do for the best. Then I had a light-bulb moment. I realised that if I really, really didn't know what course of action to take, I should do nothing. If there came a time when I did know what to do then that was the time I would act. So I did nothing.
A couple of years later, I knew what I wanted to do, and was so, so relieved that I hadn't jumped before. I saw that I would have made a huge error. So doing nothing was my saving grace.

What one ought to do on paper isn't the same as what is the right thing for you to do at this moment in time, so listen to those feelings.
It might change, in which case, that's the time to act!

Pyxis

Ps. Code......

Is there a way you could quantify in monetary terms the benefits of your current job, to compare with the enhanced pay of the proposed jobs? I mean things like sick pay, holidays, ? Pension?

If the proposed jobs don't have those benefits in the same way, the extra salary might get whittled down by you having to fund them yourself, if you see what I mean?

Waves_and_Smiles

What they said code. ^

I couldn't have put it any better. Have a hug.

tea_lover

Just going out so quick post - code, I've stayed in a job I hate for years because it's close to home and I get Friday afternoon off. Everyone has their own priorities, down feel bad about knowing what gives you a good quality of life.

codemonkey

You lot make me feel so much better. I mean, who freaks out this much about job offers? A few years ago I wouldn't have. Then I moved jobs, was offered a fantastic sounding one with more money. When I started, the guy I was supposed to be assisting and who was on the interview panel told me he didn't want me to do the work, and I had nothing to do. I stayed for a month or so then they made me redundant and I had to sign on. At the time I was living alone and it was horrible - I was so worried I'd lose my flat. After 6 months of being unemployed, and being rejected by everyone, I got this job (then ironically 3 more). I think I still was ok with change until the pain started. I didn't realise how much chronic pain affects your confidence but I feel like a shadow of the person I used to be.

tea_lover

Seeing what else is out there then deciding to stay can really give you a boost anyway. As then it is a decision to stay, not from lack of choice. Same as a harmless flirt then home to the husband lol.

onomatopoeia99

codemonkey wrote: »

Would it be ok if after all of that, my thoughts are coming down to staying in my current but lower paid job because I can pick my hours and there are loads of holidays and I get sick pay and they can't get rid of me and let me work from home when I don't feel well?

I'd say it would be more than OK. Those things you list have a value of their own which can go beyond simple monetary considerations. While I don't get to pick my hours or work from home (I could actually do my job from home most of the time, but it's not an option), my employer is flexible if I want to come in late, leave early, nip out etc. and it is a pleasant working environment, which is worth a lot to me.

I particularly like the idea of "they can't get rid of me" from your list!

mellymoo74

They won't let OH talk to his mum will adult safeguarding team help him know how she is

jobbingmusician

mellymoo74 wrote: »

They won't let OH talk to his mum will adult safeguarding team help him know how she is

melly, I find your posts difficult to understand sometimes because of the lack of punctuation. Sorry! I hope it is helpful to know this as I know it's tempting not to use any punctuation if you are posting from a phone in particular.

Does this one mean 'They won't let OH talk to his mum - will adult safeguarding team help him know how she is?'

The answer is - it depends why they are involved. (If they are involved already.) If your wretched relatives have made allegations against your OH, the safeguarding team might actively work to keep any details from him. I am only dreaming that up as a worst case scenario, though.

What do you mean by 'they'? If you mean the AST, then you probably have a hard task getting any sense out of anyone. If you mean the other relatives (as I suspect you do) then you could argue to the AST that the other rels are preventing MIL talking to OH, and that this is abuse. So you might be able to get help from them.

But it might be that your post means something else entirely?????

jobbingmusician

tea - it might be worth you realising that deciding to do nothing (about your job) is in itself a decision. Cos otherwise it is possible that you will do nothing, then beat yourself up for doing nothing. It does sound as if you are thinking about doing nothing as a positive move, based on the benefits of your current employer.