Fake job for 5 years from son's GF - what do I do

Pollycat

Fruit_and_Nut_Case wrote: »

This post leaves so much unsaid. It seems to imply that the woman does not have a job paying £18k but does not say whether she

• actually has a job
• makes less than £18k
• makes more than £18k

What would give the son the right to look at his girl friend's bank account anyway?

So many unanswered questions; waiting for the OP to come back and fill in the blanks.

+ 1 for this ^^^^^

catkins

RuthnJasper wrote: »

I tend to agree with this scenario; I mean, FIVE years?! Did the son never wonder why there weren't any Christmas parties over all this time?

In 27 years of working I think I went to a total of 5 Christmas parties! I hate them

RuthnJasper

catkins wrote: »

In 27 years of working I think I went to a total of 5 Christmas parties! I hate them

Yes, me too. An evening of smiles so forced that the face muscles start to hurt... I'd still be wondering why they weren't even mentioned in five years though.

tyllwyd

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Yes, me too. An evening of smiles so forced that the face muscles start to hurt... I'd still be wondering why they weren't even mentioned in five years though.

In all the time my OH has worked in an office - probably about 25 years - and when I used to work in an office, which was about 10 years, I don't think there was ever an office Christmas party as such. So it's not an absolute indicator of employment.

PennyForThem_2

Marisco wrote: »

How did you/son find out?

Going for mortgage interview - she had to provide proof of (non-existant) job


So glad to hear that it is not my problem. But family is interactive, isn't it?


How do I deal with it?

PennyForThem_2

*max* wrote: »

What?

She faked going to work for 5 years? What did she do all day? And where did she get her money from, that she was supposedly earning (and spending, I imagine, like someone on 18K a year would...). Are they living together?

Edit: of course you don't "do" anything, this isn't your problem, it's your son's. Support him when needed, but stay out of it!

She has a law degree from Cardiff Uni - so this is an intelligent person. She volunteered, to be fair to her. And she managed the money - though the south eastern Asian culture is that you call on friends to help you if needed - I have no proof that happened but I do think it possible.


(Son = white British; gf = muslim Malaysian)

NewShadow

PennyForThem wrote: »

How do I deal with it?

As has been said, you ask your son what he wants to do, then support him doing it.

It's their relationship, they'll either get over this or they won't.

carmina_piranha

tyllwyd wrote: »

In all the time my OH has worked in an office - probably about 25 years - and when I used to work in an office, which was about 10 years, I don't think there was ever an office Christmas party as such. So it's not an absolute indicator of employment.

No. Where I work the actual party is in the daytime during the staff training day. I've never been to an evening 'works do'. My husband has.

Marisco

PennyForThem wrote: »

Going for mortgage interview - she had to provide proof of (non-existant) job


So glad to hear that it is not my problem. But family is interactive, isn't it?


How do I deal with it?

Why do you need to deal with it? It's not your problem, it's up to your son how he deals with, it's his problem. If he's happy that she has lied to him for 5 years, then leave them get on with it.

j.e.j.

Have I understood this right? She gave the impression that she was working and earning £18k when in fact she was working as a volunteer and earning nothing?