Fake job for 5 years from son's GF - what do I do

carefullycautious

She probably thought your son would not go out with her if he found out she was in a lower paid job. She has told a lie to impress him? Love makes you do funny things

BigAunty

It seems that you've given them gifts and money but I'm not sure how this means you have the right to discuss her financial status (or lies) with her directly as you weren't directly affected, as far as I can see.

Was your son not taking any notice of their shared joint account or are the bank statements you've mentioned been in her sole name? Is it because he didn't have much actual interest in them or did she do her best to conceal them from him?

I suppose the big question that your son must wrestle with is whether that fib was a one-off or whether he's been a victim of a tissue of lies and that she can never be trusted. Any reason why she claimed this? Was it much of an exaggeration? How did he find out it wasn't true?

Are there signs she may have been economical with the truth in other respects? Mind you, a good liar means their lies are virtually impossible to detect - my nephew lied as naturally as breathing, he didn't miss a beat, he would merrily steal from a household and then offer to help the occupant look for their 'missing' item.

I did know a chap that was tricked by his fiancee who exaggerated her job role and her income, claiming to be an area manager. But she was a completely Walter Mitty type - she used to spend her evenings devising new products when she only actually worked on the till, and part time at that!

Even worse than this, they applied for a mortgage and made an offer on a house, she even measured up for curtains, but then obviously unravelled after a considerable period of time and further fibs, when she wouldn't prove her wage to the lender (she never volunteered this info, he found out from someone else she didn't have a senior position in the company).

She then lied about a pregnancy. Looking back, he retrospectively identified certain behaviour that came from her trying to hide her low income, such as claiming her bank cards wouldn't work. He once paid for a holiday because she was supposed to pay for the holiday spends, only to spend most of the time not being able to eat or go out at all because she claimed the ATM swallowed her card, still the penny didn't drop that she had no money...

I also knew a girl way back at school that lied all the time. I think she was one of those sad people who are trying to impress others. I knew her for years and she always fibbed. I came across her on FB recently and didn't have the desire to look at the content, assuming that social media would suit her boasting and that anything she posted would be a lie.

C_Mababejive

*max* wrote: »

What?

She faked going to work for 5 years? What did she do all day? And where did she get her money from, that she was supposedly earning (and spending, I imagine, like someone on 18K a year would...). Are they living together?

Edit: of course you don't "do" anything, this isn't your problem, it's your son's. Support him when needed, but stay out of it!

Indeed..im amazed it took to post#6 for someone to mention this as i was bewildered by the OP.

I think there is more to this story than the OP is being sold by son.

ljonski

How did you/son find out?

He popped in the offfice where she "worked " as she had left her sandwhiches on the kitchen table!

PasturesNew

OP needs to clarify if the gf was:

- working in a lower paid role that she's ashamed of
- working as a hussy in some topless bar
- not working at all and simply dossing around at the library, or mates' houses all day

And then ... what the actual problem is.

Buzzybee90

ljonski wrote: »

He popped in the offfice where she "worked " as she had left her sandwhiches on the kitchen table!

I don't believe someone could do this for 5 years...

Did he never ask how her work day was, or did she create an elaborate web of colleagues?

worried_jim

PasturesNew wrote: »

OP needs to clarify if the gf was:


- working as a hussy in some topless bar


And then ... what the actual problem is.

She would earn a lot more than £19k according to the girls I know that work in them.

coolcait

ljonski wrote: »

He popped in the offfice where she "worked " as she had left her sandwhiches on the kitchen table!

Is this a guess? Or are you close to the OP?

fairy_lights

So had she not hax a job for any of the 5 years, or had a job but lost it at some point, or did she have a job all along but one that paid less than the 18k she claimed?
I really don't understand how you could live with someone for 5 whole years and never find out they didn't really have a job. Your son must have been remarkably unobservant to not notice that the household budget came up 18k shorter than expected every year.

summerspring

How do you know that, ljonski, lol