God Only Gives Us As Much As We Can Handle?? HUH!

Gingernutty · 20 January 2015 at 4:55PM

Faith177 wrote: »

I am just so mad at him for letting me down again each time he f's up it's me that suffers he just looks sheepish and says "see told you you'd be better off without me"

See, that line sounds ominous to me.

It's as if he's testing you. Deliberately screwing up and seeing how far he can go before you finally dump him.

You two need to sit down and discuss this without screaming at each other to try and sort this.

He seems to have inherited his attitude to money from his mother and that's going to be tough "brainwashing" to conquer.

If he really is going to be let go for gross misconduct, then he needs to start negotiating for a neutral reference, otherwise he won't get a sniff of another job.

I know this is no help, but I'm sorry for your troubles.

Faith177 · 20 January 2015 at 4:58PM

He hasn't mentioned any problems in fact they just moved him from one store to another to finish his training to become a full manager. He was only on a 3 month probation and passed this with no issues and he has been in to cover over stores as acting manager when the store manager has been on holiday

As I said I'm hoping against hope that it's a case of they are dotting the i's and crossing the t's and he'll get a slap on the wrist but knowing our luck not holding my breath

Faith177 · 20 January 2015 at 5:08PM

Gingernutty wrote: »

See, that line sounds ominous to me.

It's as if he's testing you. Deliberately screwing up and seeing how far he can go before you finally dump him.

You two need to sit down and discuss this without screaming at each other to try and sort this.

He seems to have inherited his attitude to money from his mother and that's going to be tough "brainwashing" to conquer.

If he really is going to be let go for gross misconduct, then he needs to start negotiating for a neutral reference, otherwise he won't get a sniff of another job.

I know this is no help, but I'm sorry for your troubles.

It's more of a case of he reckons I married below me and that I could have done better

His problem is he is far to generous and his scummy mother knows this and bleeds him bloody dry

I am going to speak to him but wont do it tonight as I'm too wound up

aileth · 20 January 2015 at 5:10PM

Hopefully it's just the rhythm they have to go through for everything.

My OH failed to hit his target for three months and was hauled up (He literally missed it by 1-2%). The letter he received was covered in words like 'dismissal' 'gross misconduct' and basically sounded like he was going to be hung, drawn and quartered. Apparently you receive said letter for absolutely anything, someone was given a warning about leaving the kitchen a mess and received it.

Also, my dad was brought up on disciplinary for sending emails during work time. Same happened again with the words 'dismissal' 'gross misconduct' thrown about. He got a talking to by his Manager, a slap on the wrist, naughty boy, that was it. I should also add he was suspended whilst they 'investigated'.

They seem to love to scare you!

Faith177 · 20 January 2015 at 5:16PM

aileth wrote: »

Hopefully it's just the rhythm they have to go through for everything.

My OH failed to hit his target for three months and was hauled up (He literally missed it by 1-2%). The letter he received was covered in words like 'dismissal' 'gross misconduct' and basically sounded like he was going to be hung, drawn and quartered. Apparently you receive said letter for absolutely anything, someone was given a warning about leaving the kitchen a mess and received it.

Also, my dad was brought up on disciplinary for sending emails during work time. Same happened again with the words 'dismissal' 'gross misconduct' thrown about. He got a talking to by his Manager, a slap on the wrist, naughty boy, that was it. I should also add he was suspended whilst they 'investigated'.

They seem to love to scare you!

That was just how his area manager was talking to him apparently from what he told me briefly on the phone so fingers crossed

Tropez · 20 January 2015 at 5:21PM

We had an employee who invoiced a client for a few quid what should have been tens of thousands.

He got an informal warning - basically "stop being a prat, mate."

But there was an investigation. He was suspended during it as they had to check the bonkers invoice wasn't a deliberate attempt to defraud the company and they sent out our standard letter about consequences. They treated it as potential gross misconduct at the time but after concluding the investigation treated it as a high-level of numptiness.

Faith177 · 20 January 2015 at 5:27PM

Tropez wrote: »

We had an employee who invoiced a client for a few quid what should have been tens of thousands.

He got an informal warning - basically "stop being a prat, mate."

But there was an investigation. He was suspended during it as they had to check the bonkers invoice wasn't a deliberate attempt to defraud the company and they sent out our standard letter about consequences. They treated it as potential gross misconduct at the time but after concluding the investigation treated it as a high-level of numptiness.

I'm thinking this is what will happen (well hoping)

They said they have to go over the tills ect to make sure there is no discrepancies there

Just annoyed that he can put me through this when he knows I'm struggling as it is even if it was unintentional

Tygermoth · 20 January 2015 at 6:26PM

'Just annoyed that he can put *me* through this when he knows I'm struggling as it is even if it was unintentional'

Whoa there, hes not done it to spite you. People make mistakes. they don't do it to just to upset people and if you think they do .... you really need to sit down and have a think about whats going on in your relationship.

Hes the one going through a potential dismissal. you might want to stand in his shoes for a second? rather than thinking how upset *you* are.

Faith177 · 20 January 2015 at 6:44PM

Tygermoth wrote: »

'Just annoyed that he can put *me* through this when he knows I'm struggling as it is even if it was unintentional'

Whoa there, hes not done it to spite you. People make mistakes. they don't do it to just to upset people and if you think they do .... you really need to sit down and have a think about whats going on in your relationship.

Hes the one going through a potential dismissal. you might want to stand in his shoes for a second? rather than thinking how upset *you* are.

I do feel sorry for him and I'm trying desperately not to be mad as he loves this job so much and he is the happiest he has been in ages and it's lovely having him home unlike his last job and I know he hasn't done on it purpose but it's just I know what's coming and he'll just bury his head in the sand and say "we'll sort it" like he does every single time but it won't be us sorting it it'll be me

He has just now texted me asking me to lend £200 to his mum for crying our loud! I just don't understand him sometimes I really don't

Vikipollard · 20 January 2015 at 7:00PM

You now have carte blanche to say NO to lending / giving any money away to his Mum, never mind £200. Just text back and say you can't make any financial commitments as you don't know whether he will lose his job.