What is the point of being married?

ViolaLass

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I want to marry, because I love him and because I'd like to have children when married...

However, I don't agree you marry someone to be know as their wife? Cringe. Lots of people can have LTR the exact same as married people. I don't think any less of them.

It's subjective. Might not have been the case for you but doesn't mean it can't have been the case for someone else.

I woke up one day and just had to be married to him. I can't explain why. Something along the lines of wanting him to be my number one member of family and me his.

Buzzybee90

ViolaLass wrote: »

It's subjective. Might not have been the case for you but doesn't mean it can't have been the case for someone else.

I woke up one day and just had to be married to him. I can't explain why. Something along the lines of wanting him to be my number one member of family and me his.

I get that. Really, I do. But I meant 'to be known as' basically sounds to me like doing it as some sort of 'look at me' status symbol.

Like those incredibly frustrating people that get engaged for the ring/boasting rights.

McCloud1

phill99 wrote: »

There is no point in getting married. Just find someone you don't like and give them half of everything you own.

^

Haha, precisely my own feelings towards marriage.

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

I do find it interesting that people say they don't want a marriage but they do want a CP, or they do want all the legal/financial benefits and protections that come with marriage.

So...why not a marriage? That's the easiest quickest way to get what they want. It seems as though its just the word itself, the title, that puts people off which seems strange to me.

There was a long thread on DT recently about this, I'll have to see if I can find it.

I think this is the closest to how I feel nowadays - I am married, mostly for legal/red tape reasons.
I love and respect my OH and feel loved and respected by him, and I don't think we ever needed a marriage certificate to cement that. We got married mostly so that our family could be together in the country of our choice. And it is easier when married to satisfy all the next-of-kin stuff.

Claire_A87

This whole thing is very subjective, and to be honest no one's opinions about why/why not to marry are any more valid than anyone else's. It's each individual person that has to live their decision afterall.

Me and my OH aren't married, and are expecting our first child in July. I'd love to be married, but mostly because I'm a soppy romantic & would like a day to celebrate and cement our relationship. Now we're expecting, I'd also like the whole family to share the same surname (LO will take OH's surname - joint decision btw). We've discussed marriage and both agreed it's something we'll definitely do, we're just in no hurry since it won't have any impact on the way we live our lives. So with us, no need at all to marry, but something we want to do.

Zephyr from your original and a few subsequent posts it sounds like you know all the reasons in your head why you don't need to/shouldn't get married, but perhaps your heart is saying otherwise and you'd actually quite like to. Sounds like you're extremely happy whichever way, which is of course the main thing

Mojisola

Claire_A87 wrote: »

Me and my OH aren't married, and are expecting our first child in July.

I'd love to be married, but mostly because I'm a soppy romantic & would like a day to celebrate and cement our relationship.

One day of celebration isn't a marriage - that's a wedding!

Now we're expecting, I'd also like the whole family to share the same surname (LO will take OH's surname - joint decision btw).

You can change your surname easily enough - you don't have to get married to do it (and you don't have to do it if you do get married!)

We've discussed marriage and both agreed it's something we'll definitely do, we're just in no hurry since it won't have any impact on the way we live our lives. So with us, no need at all to marry, but something we want to do.

There are advantages to being married if you are parents should tragedy strike the family.

Turtle

We got married for the legal side of things, next of kin etc as others have said. We'd been together 17 years, went to Vegas with just parents and did it there. It was brilliant actually and I wouldn't change anything about it.

Although nothing has actually changed (apart from my name) it feels different. It's coming up to 2 years now and I love being a wife, I agree with the person who said it legitamises your relationship. Despite the length of time we'd been together I could tell some people thought our relationship wasn't as 'good' as someone who was married, even if they'd only been together 2 minutes.

Interestingly, my husband loves being married as well even though he was of the same opinion for many years - what's the point? He has a totally different view now

AngelOfTheNorth

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Are there any differences between a civil marriage and a civil union... apart from the name?

A couple. Adultery is a reason to petition for divorce, but not to dissolve a CP. You can get an annulment for non-consummation for a marriage, but not a CP. Some more info below:

http://www.petertatchellfoundation.org/campaigns/equal-love

Carer wrote: »

I really need to sort out wills, but neither of us want marriage.

Yes, you absolutely must. I hope you don't mind me saying, but it's madness to be in an unmarried partnership and not have wills. Ring a solicitor tomorrow!

Judi wrote: »

I'd want to be his Mrs...

I can't imagine being a Mrs, the very idea is totally alien. Been married years though.

gettingtheresometime

d70cw6 wrote: »

guaranteed sex 3 times a week.
it's the law.

Oh well where's the nearest women's prison then?

POPPYOSCAR

[QUOTE=catkins;67520842]You have been lucky then! How long have you been married?


I know in our 30 plus years of marriage some of the time has been pretty hard work. On the whole we get on really well (both class each other as our best friend) and mainly have the same views, interests etc but a couple of time something fairly major has cropped up that we have different views about and it took some work to sort it out.





I didn't really have a what some people might call a "proper" reason for getting married. Both me and OH had lived with someone and wanted our relationship to be different. When he asked me to marry him only 2 months after meeting I just knew I wanted to marry him and live with him for the rest of my life. We never lived together - got married 5 months after meeting.


We both believe strongly in marriage and if we had ever or do ever split up we will not get divorced.


I also didn't want to call him "my boyfriend" for 30 years or more or, even worse in my view, "my partner". That sounds like you run a business together.


I was only bothered about the ceremony (very small) not the reception, which we only had because his parents' nagged us.[/QUOTE]







Not married,, been together 29 years.


Yes we are very lucky, never had any problems in our relationship and still deeply in love with each other.