Should I give my children money when I sell their things?

supersaver2

quidsy wrote: »

And I find it odd that people teach their children to consider things to be "theirs". In our house it is ours, joint property.

We teach our son to think of everyone & not just himself & as such any extra cash is to go towards the families benefit.

If that means paying a bill or booking a family holiday the money is for the family. The use is actually irrelevant.

It isn't going straight into my pocket to be spent on male strippers & cocaine. It pays for whatever "we" as a family need at the time. It doesn't get earmarked for this & that, just absorbed as part of our families general budget at the time.

No wonder there are so many arguments over inheritances in some peoples families if children are taught early on to view "objects & money" in such a selfish way.

Wow just wow! I do teach my daughter to think of others and not just herself, but at the same time if she receives a present or gift vouchers for example then I do make sure she benefits from them as they were bought for her and not 'the family.' I don't consider this to be selfish and have no idea how this ties in with family inheritances. My wife received a voucher for a facial for Christmas, she used it last week as it was bought specifically for her, don't think this makes her a selfish person.

Plenty of items in our house are joint, family items but certainly not everything

quidsy

My ds gets pocket money from nanny & granddad, he gets to keep it as it's the only money he gets & he puts half in savings pot & half in a wallet, he can then, he if wants a toy or ds game outside of bday or Christmas, use that money as we also don't buy him toys, games or 'puter stuff outside of bdays & Christmas. It's a good compromise.

It has also taught him an important lesson as on occasion as he might want something but hasn't got enough money yet, so learns patience to save a bit more to reach the goal.

He also does chores at home like unloading the dishwasher, cleaning his own room & tidying up his stuff every night but he doesn't get paid for it, he lives in the house too & it's in everyone's interests to keep the place clean & tidy.

quidsy

Wow just wow!

Twice huh? lol m'kay.

My wife received a voucher for a facial for Christmas, she used it last week
as it was bought specifically for her, don't think this makes her a selfish
person.

Umm this isn't a sellable gift once used though is it?. A toy is, it has a continued monetary value even after being used. Your analogy is flawed.

Here is an example: My son receives a bday present or voucher for the cinema. It is his to use but once he has grown out of the present, if resalable is sold & money goes into the family pot. The voucher obviously isn't going to be resold, it has been redeemed already & the T&C state it is now void.

Jagraf

supersaver2 wrote: »

Wow just wow! I do teach my daughter to think of others and not just herself, but at the same time if she receives a present or gift vouchers for example then I do make sure she benefits from them as they were bought for her and not 'the family.' I don't consider this to be selfish and have no idea how this ties in with family inheritances. My wife received a voucher for a facial for Christmas, she used it last week as it was bought specifically for her, don't think this makes her a selfish person.

Plenty of items in our house are joint, family items but certainly not everything

So, let me get this right. You take your daughters unwanted, unused, or used gifts, then give them away. Why is that right, but its wrong to take your child's unwanted gifts, sell them, and put the money into the family pot for all to benefit?

To me that sounds a it more "wow, just wow" to be honest

janninew

Hmm not sure about selling possessions that belong to others and pocketing the money. I can understand when they are little but can't imagine teenagers being impressed. What if they have saved their own money to buy a video game for example and you decide to sell it and not pass their money back to them?!

Though to be honest is there a market for used toys, never occurred to me to sell any second hand toys, I usually pass them on for other people to use or give them to charity.

supersaver2

Jagraf wrote: »

So, let me get this right. You take your daughters unwanted, unused, or used gifts, then give them away. Why is that right, but its wrong to take your child's unwanted gifts, sell them, and put the money into the family pot for all to benefit?

To me that sounds a it more "wow, just wow" to be honest

Yes I give my daughters toys that she has grown out of to the local Barnardos charity shop. If that is shocking so be it.

Jagraf

janninew wrote: »

Hmm not sure about selling possessions that belong to others and pocketing the money. I can understand when they are little but can't imagine teenagers being impressed. What if they have saved their own money to buy a video game for example and you decide to sell it and not pass their money back to them?!

Though to be honest is there a market for used toys, never occurred to me to sell any second hand toys, I usually pass them on for other people to use or give them to charity.

DD is older now so she can sell them herself or if I have to do it because she can't be bothered, we split the money. Or it might be that I ask her to sort through her old clothes and we will sell them in order to pay for the petrol for the endless taxi service I provide at all hours. At her age her clothes sell well on eBay.

Jagraf

supersaver2 wrote: »

Yes I give my daughters toys that she has grown out of to the local Barnardos charity shop. If that is shocking so be it.

We all do that kind of thing. I was talking about when you said you give things to friends.

Toys sell really cheaply in charity shops which is great as parents (including those who can afford to buy new) can buy them for their kids and spend the money on other basics, like gas and electricity. Which again, is the same thing, don't you think? It's just money going round so that everyone can benefit.

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

And I find it odd that people teach their children to consider things to be "theirs". In our house it is ours, joint property.

If I hand my child a present, wrapped in shiny paper with a tag containing their name, and they open it up, play with it and put it on their shelf then why would they not consider the item to be "theirs"? If they then decide they've outgrown it then why shouldn't they sell it and use the money to buy themselves something else? Surely all this teaches them valuable lessons about the worth of things?

So in your house would you go and rifle through your kids' xBox games, pillaging all ones with value and then sell them to pay the gas bill? My kids would be rightly horrified if I attempted to do that.

rach_k

It depends who bought what you're selling, IMHO. If it was something that was given to them as a gift by somebody other than me or their dad, any money from selling it will either go towards something the kids want now (so just swapping the gift really) or it will go into their savings' accounts. Their savings go towards more expensive things they want or, later, things like non-essential residential school trips perhaps.

If it is something we bought them for Christmas, birthdays, Eid etc, then the money will stay theirs. If it's a toy I just bought because I wanted to, I will keep the money in the joint family account where it will probably be used for something similar in future. Again, just swapping it for something new really.

All that relies on me not really needing the money though. If I was struggling to pay the bills or put food on the table, I see absolutely nothing wrong in selling old unused toys to provide what the kids need. Maybe not as much fun but certainly necessary.

I think in the end, unless you're particularly strict about keeping each pot of money separate, it will all work out about right anyway. If you sell some old kids' DVDs and use the money to buy the family new towels one week, there'll be another week where you buy a new game from the 'household' budget. It's all swings and roundabouts - one family, one lot of money.