Probable Breakup

TBeckett100

One wonders if the now ex girlfriend is confused. If she starts shaving her head, you'll know...

fivesquare

One of my very good male friends was in a long term relationship with a woman for over 5 years. She wanted kids, he said he didn't. He wasn't prepared for it and wanted to wait until he was mid 30s, to "live" his life. They decided to take a break. Two months later he met a woman he fell in love with. A couple of months after that they announced they were getting married and that they were also expecting a baby. "best thing that ever happened to me. I was such an idiot" he said. It took him less than 6 months to get there after the break up. They now have two children. He is a nice guy, he was just not in love anymore with the first woman...

brokenheartedman

This is absolutely torture.... no contact for 2 days and I feel like my head is going to explode!! I'm trying my best to distract myself but alls I can think about is her, I wake up in the night and she's on my mind.

TBeckett100

brokenheartedman wrote: »

This is absolutely torture.... no contact for 2 days and I feel like my head is going to explode!! I'm trying my best to distract myself but alls I can think about is her, I wake up in the night and she's on my mind.

I suspect there is someone else. It must be horrible but the excuses given to end the relationship are lame. You need now to move on. The last night stand made it worse, instead of parting in separation it left question marks...

Book a holiday and take time out, away.

JoW123

brokenheartedman wrote: »

This is absolutely torture.... no contact for 2 days and I feel like my head is going to explode!! I'm trying my best to distract myself but alls I can think about is her, I wake up in the night and she's on my mind.

You're not going to forget her in 2 days but you really need to try and concentrate on other things for at least some of the time. I also suspect there may be someone else around, not necessarily someone she is involved with, but someone who has made her question things. You need to start slowly moving forward and accept that you will feel awful for some of the time. When I was going through a terrible time I found it helped to say I will spend 30 minutes reflecting on my past relationship and then I will do x for an hour and push any thoughts of it away. Otherwise the loss becomes all consuming.

kelpie35

brokenheartedman wrote: »

This is absolutely torture.... no contact for 2 days and I feel like my head is going to explode!! I'm trying my best to distract myself but alls I can think about is her, I wake up in the night and she's on my mind.

I have read your whole thread and I really feel for you.

You have been very mature and respectful in handling this sad situation.

Yes, it will be very hard for the next few days, weeks or months.

You need to "use" your friends and family for the next wee while. Ask to be included in any outings, meet-ups etc. Don't be ashamed to let them know you feel a bit lonely, down etc. It is only natural.

I really hope you stay strong and try to enjoy life now.

Take care

bagpussbear

Sorry to hear of your sad situation OP.

Breakups are very hard when you still love someone, your relationship lasted longer than some marriages these days so you must remember that it will feel like a bereavement of sorts.

I too feel, like many other posters here, that there might be someone else on the scene. Not saying she might have cheated, but certainly someone could have turned her head and she realises she wants to experience other people. But it doesn't matter now.

Don't be tempted to text or write. All you will be doing is massaging her ego. Because, let's face it, she knows that she could click her fingers at any point and you'd be there.

You need to learn not to be.

Remember she is not needing or wanting to text you, and appears to be getting on just fine. You need to find that space in your head to be 'just fine' too.

You say you know her inside out, but I don't think any of us really know that about a person, not 100% anyway. People change, especially someone so young.

Practically, it helps to fill your time doing other things, work, friends, going out as much as possible. Being alone, in the silence of your home, is terrible in the first few days/weeks. But it DOES get better. You will wake up one day soon, and it just doesn't hurt quite as much as it does today. Then a week after that a little better, and so on and so on ..

74jax

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

I have been through something so similar to you, I swear there are others like Marisco who will back this up, just search for a thread I started called "Gutted". I left her behind after she said something similar and let her walk away and it was the best thing I ever did. Months later she came back anyway, saying she'd made a mistake, and I was far too happy to care. Sure seeing her out and about the couple of months after was incredibly hard.

.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4515317

I found your thread, read it all...... and am just interested...... what happened when you spoke after Christmas/New Year with the new girl? Old romantic in me is wondering if you got together in the end? :j

Andy_89

This is absolutely torture.... no contact for 2 days and I feel like my head is going to explode!! I'm trying my best to distract myself but alls I can think about is her, I wake up in the night and she's on my mind

This post brings back some horrible memories, please do not do what I did. Wallow - its bad, people change their opinion of you very quickly.

Friends + beer + female attention = Temporary solution.

A curious question, what kind of drunk are you? The reason I ask is, if you start blubbing after a few beverages that may deter your friends from asking you out.

Orlando_Virgin

74jax wrote: »

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4515317

I found your thread, read it all...... and am just interested...... what happened when you spoke after Christmas/New Year with the new girl? Old romantic in me is wondering if you got together in the end? :j

Hi!

Erm no, we didn't I'm afraid. In the end, the original girl who I broke up with (the reason for the gutted thread) she ended up going travelling around Australia. She got back in November last year and once again made contact asking if I was ok and wanted to meet up for a catch up. I didn't reply. A very, very confused young lady. I think she will always seek an answer to her unhappiness and because I brought it for a short while, she sometimes thinks I might be it. But I'm not and that ship has sailed.

The other girl after Xmas went travelling too, in February of that year, she went to South America!! Got a job in Brazil and is now teaching young children English! We are still in touch funny enough, but she is just a friend.

Should I be getting a complex that everyone I show a romantic interest in goes travelling?!

Haha, anyway I've been seeing someone new for quite a few months now and we get on great, she is 28, I am 30. We have both done what we wanted to do, have our own space and places as well and we are going at the same pace having tons of fun.

Sorry to hijack but thought I'd let you know, thanks for asking