New Alcohol self help

brodev

lewt wrote: »

whats hollow legs devon ?

The ability to down large quantities without it showing.

lewt

that came on and off for me......

Horace

I would like to ask for some advice off you guys n gals. My OH has a tendency go to out on binges - twice last week. He went to a union meeting on Tuesday afternoon and got home on Wednesday morning at 4.40am (that's the time he rang me to say that he was cooking his dinner!). He went for a binge after work last Friday too - he was supposed to be driving to Birmingham but never turned up - I ended up calling West Mids Police, the Motorway Control Centre, the Highways Agency plus the Met Police and London hospitals, I even rang one of his local drinking haunts but they hadn't seen him since the week before when he went on another binge. He apparently didn't hear his phone because I rang him at 11am to ask him to bring something with him but no reply and in fact didn't get a reply until 2.55am (first voicemail - garbled nonsense about war and the last message at 3.30am saying "the eagle has landed"). I am concerned that he is acquiring a drink problem.

I very rarely drink because I am on medication and alcohol sometimes messes it up - so I occasionally have one or two but never more than that. I get told that I am boring because I don't get bladdered but then I like to be aware of my surroundings and what is going on so I don't find myself in situations that I can't extract myself from. I repeatedly remind him of the dangers of drink and that excess alcohol causes liver cancer (he is genetically prone to cancer because several family members have died from it) but it just goes in one ear and out the other. My OH is 40 and is acting like a 18 yr old let loose in a brewery - he has no 'off' button and that worries me. Is there anything that I can say or do to help him reduce his drinking?

Help would be appreciated.

lewt

Horace wrote: »

I would like to ask for some advice off you guys n gals. My OH has a tendency go to out on binges - twice last week. He went to a union meeting on Tuesday afternoon and got home on Wednesday morning at 4.40am (that's the time he rang me to say that he was cooking his dinner!). He went for a binge after work last Friday too - he was supposed to be driving to Birmingham but never turned up - I ended up calling West Mids Police, the Motorway Control Centre, the Highways Agency plus the Met Police and London hospitals, I even rang one of his local drinking haunts but they hadn't seen him since the week before when he went on another binge. He apparently didn't hear his phone because I rang him at 11am to ask him to bring something with him but no reply and in fact didn't get a reply until 2.55am (first voicemail - garbled nonsense about war and the last message at 3.30am saying "the eagle has landed"). I am concerned that he is acquiring a drink problem.

I very rarely drink because I am on medication and alcohol sometimes messes it up - so I occasionally have one or two but never more than that. I get told that I am boring because I don't get bladdered but then I like to be aware of my surroundings and what is going on so I don't find myself in situations that I can't extract myself from. I repeatedly remind him of the dangers of drink and that excess alcohol causes liver cancer (he is genetically prone to cancer because several family members have died from it) but it just goes in one ear and out the other. My OH is 40 and is acting like a 18 yr old let loose in a brewery - he has no 'off' button and that worries me. Is there anything that I can say or do to help him reduce his drinking?

Help would be appreciated.

hi horace. i dont really know how to anser your question there are others around that have been where you are and can support you better untill then i can offer you this literture to read. its from the wives of some of the peopel in AA. i hope it helps. i also know that al anon helps familys of problem drinkers cope even if the drinker is not interested in help yet. all the best

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/BigBook/pdf/BigBook_chapt8.pdf

lewt

Maybe some of the readers and/or early on posters could reply to horace ? there wouldnt be a thread to read if no-one posted

brodev

hi Horace, If a friend of mine was doing what your friend is doing I too, would be concerned. Unfortunately I haven't a clue on what you can say or do to get him to cut down his drinking. I didn't know how to cut down my own drinking. The only way of handling my problem was to stop drinking altogether. I have also found out that there is nothing I can say or do that can stop another person from drinking. The best that I can offer is to help someone to stop drinking that wants to stop drinking. I would suggest to you that you contact Alanon in the hope that they can help you to cope with your problem (him). Sometimes this action results in the drinker recognising that there is a problem and then doing something about it. I wish you and your partner every success.

brodev

I meant to say that links to Alanon are on the first post in this thread

Bogof_Babe

lewt wrote: »

Maybe some of the readers and/or early on posters could reply to horace ? there wouldnt be a thread to read if no-one posted

Well I am more than happy to reply... Hi Horace ... but I don't have any experience of their (can we assume 'she' despite the name?) situation. My OH and I have always done our drinking at home, together, so I have never had the worry of him not coming home when he says he will, or vice versa.

Very happy to listen though, and be here with a sympathetic ear if Horace needs one. Welcome to our club Horace, you have come to the right place.

mygeorgie

Hi Horace, This is my very first post. I myself have a drinking problem that is to say if i have one i get a taste for it and then just keep going and going until i pass out. So i have to abstain completely which is what i am trying to do again now. I sympathise with you wholeheartedly as i know i have caused my OH alot of worry upset stress anxiety - you get my drift? The problem is i think your OH has to admit to himself that he has a problem if he car'nt do that I to think that alanon could provide you with the support you need.

brodev

Hello mygeorgie, welcome to the forum. Every success with your attempt to stay sober.