New Alcohol self help

Taffyscot

both shaz it is like a bereavement of both doubly hard. Hang in there dont have a can you know you will have another and another and then feel bad. Remember if you dont have the first drink you can never get drunk and you can never ever have the second. Wish my son could read these threads but he doesnt have the net. Hang in there ok make an ovaltine it will help you sleep. Remember how good you feel when you havent taken that first drink.

shazrobo

think i will try some ovaltine when i go to the supermarket tommorrow. thanks for the reminder about feeling better in the mornings when i havent had a drink, i used to suffer terribly in the morning in the past, think my children suffered a bit too which wasnt fair.
just need to find a way to occupy my time on an enening, think it would make it easier.
off to bed now, thanks for the support
shaz x

lewt

shazrobo wrote: »

what does everyone else on here find to do on an evening other than be on this site lol.

www.stepchat.com

[Deleted User]

I would have to echo the others Shaz - get rid of the cans. You don't need them. Really you don't. You will get cravings, but these will pass I promise. The longer you are away from the drink the stronger you are. Have some good chocolate instead (really!)

I was lucky in that my evenings were taken up with AA meetings, though I appreciate that this is not possible for you with the children. Can your dad babysit once in a while to give you a break and let you get out and do something for you - cinema / massage etc.?

I'm not much help to you since I threw myself into work -12 hour days to get through some of the most difficult times. Do you have any hobbies or things you used to do before drinking - reading books or cross stitch or something that you can go back to? Is there something you've always wanted to do?

Remember to take it easy and keep it simple. If the internet is what helps you right now, use it and don't worry about it. Good things will come if you stay away from that first drink.

I'm sure I'll be online at some point on Christmas Day. I'm a bit scared about it, but trying for the moment to live just for today.

With very best wishes to you Shaz and to ahh too if you're reading

Hiphouse

Taffyscot

I find that people replace their social scene with AA and it is a life line for most. They can go out to a dance or a barbecue and no one is expecting or trying to get them to drink.

I am not afflicted with the disease but I can imagine how you all feel when asked to drink. Only last week I was at my pub quiz and I normally have 2 halves of cider but I was on antibiotics and so shouldnt drink and I was feeling lousey. I hate pop of any kind with a passion and am at my wits end as to what to drink. I asked for a cup of tea and got such strange looks. I had to explain I was on antibiotics and then it was ok. " Hope you get well quick " and all that bonami. I know my son always has to say" I'm the driver tonight" when we go out.

AA is great cos copious amounts of tea and scones and everyone joking about it. " Wow am I ever going to feel bloated in the morning with all these scones," they say," but it sure as hell beats a hangover or the hair of the dog."

Ask someone to babysit for you one night Shaz you never know they might say yes. I know I would if a friend asked me. Especially if you feel the cravings --- great time to go to a meeting and just hearing others expressing the same gives you courage in numbers. I feel like a bleedy nag about these meetings but from my perspective of a non alcoholic I am so impressed and amazed at how it works. Stupid thing is I like hearing people's stories as you never hear such honest, down to earth stories in all your life and for the most part there is great humour in the things they did then and the pickles they got into. Call me daft or call me Taffy.

Take care all of you and Ahahahh if you are there you take care too and hang in there it will get better. This too will pass. Taffy

[Deleted User]

Oh Taffy what a lovely message. You've made me laugh and cry with your description of AA. You're absolutely correct. Thank you.

I'm sitting here a bit scared as I'm not going into work from Christmas Day until 31 December. I was in at 7am (works 5 minutes away) this morning and came back home at 7pm just because I'm scared about too much time on my hands.

I haven't had so much 'empty' time to fill since I stopped drinking. I've got things I can do, I just need to step past this fear and plan the days ahead... it just looks a huge chasm right now. It's weird when the only coping mechanism I have from the past is to constantly drink until I blackout and keep drinking until a virtual 24/7 blackout exists.

Thanks to everyone for keeping this thread going. It means a lot to me. Good to be reminded of how things can be for those who are new to this stop drinking malarky! Reminds me too that we're all only one drink away from falling off the wagon. Best wishes to everyone and hi to ahh, hope to be able to chat to you again soon.

Hiphouse

brodev

Hippy I know how you feel. I was terrified of doing anything other than going to meetings. Being on my own was not something to be looked forward to. I tried to get myself into AA company all the time. At the time I thought that I should not have been like that, but now I don't know. I was recovering from the 3rd ranking killer illness that the world knew. Only cancer and heart disease are worse. If I had either of these I would have been getting all sorts of medication and support from all sorts of sources. I would also be having sympathy and understanding from friends and family. I didn't have friends. My family were a bit sick of me. They were hopeful but not very expectant. Even when they did try to help they said things like "only one won't do any harm" or " surely now that you've been off it a few months". The only place that I got support was at meetings. These people in AA understood me and more importantly I understood them. They seemed instinctively to know when to shake me and when to put an arm round or give a hug. Left to my own devices my head was filled with fear and dread. The AAs also seemed to know that I needed to be on my own at times so that I could learn to get over those feelings. Always remember that you are as close as the telephone. And also do what you are doing and talk about your fears as it makes them smaller, at least, it did for me.

shazrobo

i have things to do, i have books to read, computer games alsorts, but find it so hard to sit down and do any of them, cant concentrate at mo. darent put tv, cos thats wen i would drink in front of tv., so i come online again and again. getting a babysitter is not an easy option, because my friends have children too,
thanks again for your support
shaz x

[Deleted User]

Hi Shaz

I was hoping someone could give you some proper advice, but it's gone a bit quiet.

I've been keeping myself busy - perhaps too much so. Yesterday I did all the ironing, some housework and the weekly food shop before going on a 6 mile walk. Then to the ballet (free ticket) for a matinee and an AA meeting in the evening.

I was very tense last night. The ballet was superb, but it made me quite emotional. I didn't feel able to show this at all - I went on my own, I'm a billie-no-mates and it's not nice to be so obviously reminded of that fact! I went to an AA meeting, but didn't share. As I left one bloke asked if I was OK and I said I was dreading the days ahead and bless him, he walked with me for five minutes whilst I said I was fearful of the days ahead, but trying to keep it in the day. He gave me a lovely, wonderful bear hug and I walked home in tears. In such a state I forgot about the meal I had in my bag and only found this today when going out for a walk at midday (last night's meal was a packet of custard creams - I'm addicted to biscuits when the going gets tough)!

This morning I tried to take control of my feelings/fears and created a huge list of all the things I can do over the holiday (I'm at work tomorrow and then off until 31st) this includes small tasks like put the bins out to big things like write an essay for a course I'm on. This seems to have made things more manageable. Managed to do some of the things on the list - even found out how I can save 100 pounds on an annual bus ticket too. Went for a 5 mile walk this afternoon and walked back home in the early sunset along the seafront.

I am blessed in so many ways - I must remember that. It's just so hard when people keep going on about Christmas and the questions about am I spending this with family / friends. I've just lied and said I'm spending the day with a load of friends, but I'm not. I'm just treating it like another day. I will be on my own and hoping all will be well.

Sorry to take up so much of this board right now, but it is helpful for me to write all this down.

The very best wishes to you Shaz and to ahh who I hope still lurks. Thanks too, to everyone else on this thread for allowing me to be a part of this and keeping me sober.

Hiphouse

shazrobo

hi hiphouse, good to see that you are keeping busy and keeping sober, well done. I'm a billy no mates too, its my birthday today, and what have i done, let me think ha, been for a walk round a local lake, took my kids out for a chinese lunch, watched a load of cartoons on tv with th kids, and now on here. the only people i will be spending xmas with will be my kids too, it is hard at this time of year when everybody else seems to be having a good time, and your all alone.
wish i lived near the seafront, cant wait to go to scarborough or bridlington sometime in the new year, love the fresh sea air.
dont be sorry about posting its what the board is for, to support each other.
big hugs
shaz x