New Alcohol self help

mariauk

Well said Anna :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :A

annapantscats

Awwwwww....Thank You Maria!!

I am sorry if I come across as overly hostile and negative....but this is a subject that I am passionate about and I really felt the need to reiterate that we are all different (it would be a boring old world if we were all the same!!) and therefore all need, and benefit from, varied approaches to dealing with alcoholism and problem drinking (which are not the same thing).

mariauk

More than welcome, It`s really good to see another take on how things can be
You are neither hostile or negative, Just someone with a wealth of experience in the field and above all someone who has the cap, T-shirt and the heart to be able to advise with an open mind :T

brodev

When I joined AA I was told that if I had a legal problem then I had to consult a lawyer, If I had marital problems then a marriage consultant etc. Over the years this has not changed. As I have stated before I believe that as I am a recovering alcoholic this gives me a unique position to be able to help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety. I sympathise with problem drinkers, compulsive gamblers, and a myriad of other people with problems but, I come here to share my experience to help the still suffering alcoholic. I do not believe however that this forum is for alcoholics only. As far as I am concerned anybody and everybody is welcome to post and put their point of view. I reserve the right to put mine. It is nice to have a point of view

lewt

annapantscats wrote: »

The big book of AA clearly states that 'we are not doctors' and that some people need medication for various illnesses. Nowhere in the big book does it state that complete wellness can be achieve by using the 12 steps alone.
Any group can adopt the 12 steps..... to my knowledge there over 200 groups using them as part of their recovery programs...but the word to note there is PART. I have known people who were critisised for taking antidepressants whilst in AA. They were told they were using a mind-altering substance and were therefore not sober. So they came off their mediction. And are now dead. 1 took a huge drugs overdoes very soon after stopping the medication, one relapsed on drink and severe self harming, and one hung himself. The last 2 were good friends of mine and I attended their funerals. Both were young, wonderful, beautiful people who are no longer with us because someone decided that they were wrong to take medication and that the 'program' was all they needed.

I am sorry Lewt...but the 12 steps are NOT a cure-all. What works for one person does not necesserily work for another. I know many people who have used AA and the 12 steps to totally turn their lives around, and contrary to how I might come across, I am actually a huge advocate of AA.... having worked as a secretary, literature sec, treasurer, probation liason officer for intergroup, online AA email respondant etc etc, (oh, and the fact that I havent drunk for 6 years make me kind of fond of AA as well ) but my chosen path may well not be right for every other person who has a drinking problem. And for me to tell someone who asks for my help that they must do what I did..... its my way or the highway.... would be irresponsable, presumptuous, arrogant and wrong.

I have never said they are a cure all have i? please don't put words in my mouth, all i have done is post info for feelie who asked for it, i have found in my own experience that through continued work with the 12 steps that i have recovered from that seeminly hopeless state of mind and body, as the first 100 people did. this inculdes alot of the feelings and emotions that feelie has posted. this is my experaince.

I have heard people say the 12 steps didnt work for them and when i ask which step they got to or if they continued to take inventory and make ammends the answer are normally the same "got to step 8" or "well i did inventory when i felt i needed too"

i agree with the book when it says this program for living has its advantages for all.

How can i show someone any other way to get well than i did ? i think its the experance of doing it myself that "qualifies" me to know how to do it. and how to talk about my experiance. i wouldnt dream of taking anyone through the steps in any other way other than which i have done it and so i belive the first 100 did it. i dont see any need to change the way doing the steps other than how it was written in the big book.

And they do work if you work them All. They have for me and 1000's of other alcoholics too. i think as people we are different but i dont think that changes the illness one bit. we all still have the 3 fold mental, phsical and spirtual illness dont we ?

can i suggest if you wanna keep the debate going we do it by pm plz

annapantscats

Quote....How can i show someone any other way to get well than i did ?

...by having empathy and understanding that the person who has asked for your help may have differing needs from those that you have, thereby realising that they may benefit more from trying a different path than the one you took. As has been pointed out, not everyone who posts on this board is an alcoholic, so why not try giving those people unbiased, general advice, or telling that you personaly have experience of only 1 path and it might not be right for them? If someone asks my advise on buying a car I dont automatically assume that they should buy the same car as I have... maybe their needs are different... and so I would obviously suggest that they look around and find whatever is right for them, their lifestyle, family situation etc etc. I would also direct them towards other people who may have more knowledge on different models of car.

Quote.....can i suggest if you wanna keep the debate going we do it by pm plz

Ummm...why? In the first post you have written......
"It is not recommended that private messaging take place 1) because still drinking alcoholics can become emotionally hooked on 1 person and if that person goes relapse is a lot more possible and 2) if you are posting for help there could be someone just reading to frighten to post that may have the same or similar problem and in your asking/discussing you could help them.

If PM'in does take place can I suggest that it be man to man or woman to woman."

I briefly introduced myself on the previous thread, and you chose to ignore the man-to-man woman-to-woman bit by promptly PMing me. And regarding the section I have highlighted in red.....I believe that I am mearly expressing my view that there are various ways to help people, both problems drinkers, alcoholics and their familys, other than telling them that AA, the 12 steps and 1 single path are the only answer. Something that may help others who are too fearful to ask.

annapantscats

lewt wrote: »

if after your time in the fellowship and sober you still feel you cant Pm then okay.

Oh PLEASE!!!!!! :rotfl:

Really Lewt, please dont be so ridiculous! I can assure you that my wish to have no contact with you via PM has nothing whatsoever to do with the length of my sobriety, time in the fellowship or 'still feeling that I cant' !!!


Feelinggood....I hope things went as well as they could at the funeral. I am attending a friends funeral on Saturday and I appreciate that any social gathering, somber or otherwise, can be very testing for those of us who decide not to drink.

EDIT... Just to clear up any confusion...you have now removed your last post, but I had already replied to your comment.

lewt

annapantscats wrote: »

Ummm...why? In the first post you have written......
"It is not recommended that private messaging take place 1) because still drinking alcoholics can become emotionally hooked on 1 person and if that person goes relapse is a lot more possible and 2) if you are posting for help there could be someone just reading to frighten to post that may have the same or similar problem and in your asking/discussing you could help them.

If PM'in does take place can I suggest that it be man to man or woman to woman."

I briefly introduced myself on the previous thread, and you chose to ignore the man-to-man woman-to-woman bit by promptly PMing me. And regarding the section I have highlighted in red.....I believe that I am mearly expressing my view that there are various ways to help people, both problems drinkers, alcoholics and their familys, other than telling them that AA, the 12 steps and 1 single path are the only answer. Something that may help others who are too fearful to ask.

Just to clear up, i pm'd you on the old thread before there was any thing written about pm's they were put in the first post of this new thread this was done cause 2 (still drinking) dont say there names though or some1 will be clicking the red triangle people ended up having an affair, and it got messy so please dont try and manipulate whats gone on. i was being friendly in that pm, i learnt from that experanece too it was a first for me to see it al go on. which was why i wrote it in the first post. as i said in the begining of the thread that first post is changable to how the posters on this thread want it.

I dont think i have said that AA and the 12 steps are the one single answer. i i have simply stated what worked for me and what didnt. what i have said though if there is other ways then i think the people best "qualifed" to speak of them are the people that have done it other ways. i wouldnt try as i have no idea how to suggest things that i dont ( from my own personal experiance) know work. i wouldnt teach someone to drive a car if i didnt know myself.....

Bottom line i spose is neither of us is going to stop posting what we want so we both might as well except that we cant change the others veiws or perspective of the program or anythign else. and agree to disagree and not pull each othrs posts to bits.

moneysaver1980

Children, Children!

Come on lets keep it Peacefull.

We're All here for the same reason.......

I've been reading for a while and would like to say, I find what everyone has to say interesting and helpful. Please Don't ruin it all by Squabling between in house.

mariauk

lewt wrote: »

Just to clear up, i pm'd you on the old thread before there was any thing written about pm's they were put in the first post of this new thread this was done cause 2 (still drinking) dont say there names though or some1 will be clicking the red triangle people ended up having an affair, and it got messy so please dont try and manipulate whats gone on. i was being friendly in that pm, i learnt from that experanece too it was a first for me to see it al go on. which was why i wrote it in the first post. as i said in the begining of the thread that first post is changable to how the posters on this thread want it.
.

Yes Lewt, I did report your post because there was a comment in it that mentioned 2 people that you had dragged into your "discussion" and who had absolutely nothing to do with the conversation. Personnal comments about people who cannot reply isn`t very considerate is it? Anyhoo, life goes on!