New Alcohol self help

brodev

Taffyscot wrote: »

Lol Lewt
Ask Brod if I am in a far away place. I met him at a meeting and threw my arms around his ample girth (and mine). We met on here but officially met at an AA meeting.

What's this "ample girth"? Someone has just had their name removed from my Xmas card list [strike]TAFFYSCOT[/strike] You must be in a far away place to believe that. (I must be even further away cos I have to get a ferry from your place to mine)
Feelie YIPEE :T:T:T:T:T:T:T and easy does it
PS the weather is lovely and I am here for 5-6 months Taffy

Taffyscot

brodev wrote: »

What's this "ample girth"? Someone has just had their name removed from my Xmas card list [strike]TAFFYSCOT[/strike] You must be in a far away place to believe that. (I must be even further away cos I have to get a ferry from your place to mine)
Feelie YIPEE :T:T:T:T:T:T:T and easy does it
PS the weather is lovely and I am here for 5-6 months Taffy

Lucky you Brod, We never had time to give you your birthday party. By the time I told everyone you had flown the coup. I always was slow on the uptake.
Hugs to you Taffy

frostyspice

The title says it all - so apart from controlling my anger with him (not easy!) at his occasional attempts to blame his bad behaviour on me, what can I do? He's determined that he wants no more to do with alcohol, but he feels terrible about "wasting the last twenty years" as he puts it.

I think we both thought that as soon as he gave the stuff up, it would be plain sailing, the arguments would stop and everything in the garden would be rosy. But it isn't.

brodev

Hi Frosty, I cannot tell you about your husband but I can tell you about me. I too, thought that, now that I had stopped, everything would fall into place. What I did not realise was that I was still not right. In fact not drinking had removed the crutch I had used for years. I needed to find another way of living and thinking. I needed to change. This was neither easy nor quick. I don't know how you can help your husband but, I do believe, he is fortunate that you want to. I would suggest that you contact alanon as they are the experts on partners/ friends of alcoholics.

lewt

frostyspice wrote: »

The title says it all - so apart from controlling my anger with him (not easy!) at his occasional attempts to blame his bad behaviour on me, what can I do? He's determined that he wants no more to do with alcohol, but he feels terrible about "wasting the last twenty years" as he puts it.

I think we both thought that as soon as he gave the stuff up, it would be plain sailing, the arguments would stop and everything in the garden would be rosy. But it isn't.

Hi Frosty,

I would suggest-suggesting to your husband to find someone to take him through the steps. the firs 9 are about clearing the wrackage of the past. my experience is it DOES help clear up that feeling of guilt, shame etc that comes back to us when we stop drinking. just going to meetings aint enough for me. i need to do the work, exactly how its laid out for me to do in the big book, i needed someone to show me that too as i have a habbit of trying to (and failing normaly) make things easyer for myself.
What you are asking is answered http://www.healtalk.com/public/chapter-9.shtml in a chapter from AA's big book called the family afterwards.

Feelie is it today your 2 years ? also how did the share go ?

feelinggood_2

2 Years on Tuesday

Share went really well, was glad I made the effort. Everyone was really great and thanked me. And I had a KFC afterwards.

Taffyscot

Well done Feelie on your birthday and your share. I bet you are relieved now that is over and you can relax.
Taffy

lewt

feelinggood wrote: »

2 Years on Tuesday

Share went really well, was glad I made the effort. Everyone was really great and thanked me. And I had a KFC afterwards.

THis tues or the one just gone ?

loopy_lass

update, my alcoholic still hasnt had a drink to my knowledge, ive had my suspicions but its non of my business untill i can prove it!...not going to screw myself up and waste time playing detective...

anyways just to say they walked out of the aa meeting this week, reckons its not for them as its full of down n out drunks!!!!!!!!!!!!! arrogant T*@T.

So we can wait and see, as i re enforced the message that was fine and their choice but if they start drinking again they may as well be packing their belongings at the same time cos i sure as hell aint going through THAT carry on again.

luv to everyone..... keep on keeping on xxx
loops

feelinggood_2

lewt wrote: »

THis tues or the one just gone ?

Tomorrow And I've got a new token/coiny thing.

Just spoke to midwife, and no-one at the hospital has any experience or knowledge of pain relief in labour for people with substance abuse problems, so I expect I shall do my best to have a pain relief free birth - scary!