Official Trying to Conceive - Thread 12

chickp

Morning, apologies in advance for a long post but I've been saving this up for a while!

This AF has been awful Despite keeping myself calm and pretty oblivious to the 2ww, AF has left me feeling so disappointed. I feel very down and generally way more emotional than I usually am at this point. I practically cry every time I listen to the news.

On top of this, OH is tired, stressed and grumpy and is completely fed up with my reaction as he says it's only been 2 months. He has been short-tempered and distant which has made me feel even worse. I am feeling so sorry for myself that it's even annoying me! I know it's ridiculous but it's really taken me by surprise. I don't feel like myself at all

We're getting married in a few weeks and EVERYONE is asking/commenting/making jokes about there being a 'baby on the way'.

I mentioned before about being due AF on my wedding day and now I'm really not sure I could take the disappointment. Do you think it will ruin the day or will it take my mind off it? I'm wondering about a trip to the doc's to see what she says about delaying my period but I think it will mean 2 months off ttc. OH is not happy about the idea but he won't have period pain at his wedding!

The worst thing is that with my endometriosis I have pretty much convinced myself that I'm infertile. It doesn't matter that everyone else I know with endo has children, I'm certain I'm one of those who can't and I can't shake the feeling, it's almost like grief.

So, all in all I know I am completely overreacting but I don't seem to be able to help myself. I cried so much last night that I had to wear sunglasses this morning even though it's cloudy :cool::o. I promise I'm not normally like this - where has my sanity gone?!!! If anyone finds it please pm me :eek:

chickp

Just caught up with the thread!

First things first - mahoosive congrats to diamondorchid, littlemoog and snowball :j

Welcome to the newbies:)

During the course of my catch-up, I downloaded the fertility friend app and put in may data and it has given me a much smaller fertile window than ovia. This means we only DTD once in the fertile window this month, while ovia made it look like we managed much better.

If we do decide to try this month I hope to DTD every night for those 4 days and every other night outside of it just in case. If there's only a 30% chance for a healthy couple if you do it at the right time, I hate to imagine the chance if you have a medical condition and don't even BD on the right day grr:mad:

Luckily OH will be back from stag do by then :cool:

ellesbellesxxx

Big hugs chickp... I got AF two days before my hen do so just before our wedding, and although I was gutted (only cycle 2 mind back then) I was so distracted by hen do/wedding that it didn't hit me as hard as it does now.
The wedding can also be a big stress which doesn't help with ttc - I know I was really anxious just before (esp my MIL kept falling out with me for no reason!!!) so I think it's good to look at it as a positive that you can enjoy your day, have a sparkly drink then look forward to the future.
Plus, I don't know about you but I swear I am going to punch the next person who comments that we have been married almost 6 months, surely a little ellesbelles is imminent - gah!
Keep positive... some of our journeys may be longer than others and take a different route but we will get there!
Big hugs xx

lulu_92

Feeling super sorry for myself today.

This is a bit TMI but I've been noticing this for a while now. Usually about 4 or 5 days before AF is due I notice some red blood when I go #2. It sometimes is a bit painful to pass stools but other than that I'm okay. I've stupidly googled it and every answer says endometriosis - I'm sat here really upset because this would make it so much harder (the girl I work with who has endo took 5 years for baby 1 and 3 for baby 2), plus I don't physically have time to go to the doctors about it

flutterbyuk25

chickp wrote: »

During the course of my catch-up, I downloaded the fertility friend app and put in may data and it has given me a much smaller fertile window than ovia. This means we only DTD once in the fertile window this month, while ovia made it look like we managed much better.

If we do decide to try this month I hope to DTD every night for those 4 days and every other night outside of it just in case. If there's only a 30% chance for a healthy couple if you do it at the right time, I hate to imagine the chance if you have a medical condition and don't even BD on the right day grr:mad:

I have 3 seperate apps and each gives me a different fertile period! It's so frustrating!! I have Ovia, Fertile Friend and Period Tracker. They are out by a few days each. Wish there was an easier way to calculate it.

After reading chickp's post about having AF on wedding day I have realised that I will more than likely have AF when we go on holiday in June. I don't want this! I know I can get a pill from Dr (is it free or do I need to pay for it?) to delay my period, but will this affect fertility?

ThinkPink

Fingers are well and truly crossed for you kellyins.x

I was right to call cd1 yesterday, full flow started not long after I posted.

We've been ntnp since my mmc (as I didn't want to put myself under unnecessary pressure), part of me is so desperate to start proper trying again, but the other part of me is so telling me to stick with ntnp for a bit longer.

ellesbellesxxx

Lulu... Sorry to hear you have been having probs. is it worth going to docs though in case it's something else? Might be back end related rather than front bottom in which case might be easier to treat xxx

chickp

Lulu - it could be endo, but then it could be many other things. I was only diagnosed because I suddenly got intense pain in my side, turned out to be a cyst. If you go to the drs, the most they will do is try to rule out other things. In my experience it is extremely difficult to be referred to a specialist and get anywhere towards a diagnosis of endometriosis.

I hope it is not endo, but as I said earlier, everyone I know with endo has at least one child - so not all is lost!

Black_Ribboner

Oh chickp, many hugs. Your OH is right in that 2 months is hardly any time, but that doesn't mean the disappointment isn't valid - our first month trying, I convinced myself it had worked and was so gutted when AF arrived that I bawled for an hour and had to cry off a party. Completely ridiculous, but it really felt like that much of a blow. I found talking to my OH and my friends really helped, as well as arranging a cocktail night and other social things. None of the subsequent AFs have been as bad.

I have PCOS, so while obviously it's a completely different condition, I can identify with the medical worries. It's all very well thinking rationally and looking at examples where others with the condition have had kids, but it's natural to worry you're going to be in the small percentage that can't. I don't know too much about endo, but I would recommend doing as much research as you can, particularly anything you can do yourself that might alleviate the symptoms or improve conception chances. Speak to your doctor as well, so they know what's happening.

As for AF on your wedding day, only you know how you're likely to cope. If I were in your shoes, I think I'd rather NTNP for a month, or even use non-hormonal contraception, so that nothing was expected but hormones weren't being messed around either. But you may feel better if you know that AF definitely won't come and there isn't a maybe baby, so you don't have to think about it on the day you marry the man you love. Talk to him about it, if he's willing to discuss, and see what seems right for you both.

Hugs again, hope you feel better soon x

chickp

flutterby - I googled it but can't remember the name of it. It's progesterone based I think. You can't use if possibly pregnant or ttc. I think for me it would mean two months off ttc. Also I did read it can take a while for cycles to get back to normal.

I'm not sure I feel able to take a break at the moment, I'm just really worried about bleeding in an ivory dress :eek: