Girlfriends brother is taking out a loan for his wedding through her?

Spicy_McHaggis

whitecloud663 wrote: »

My girlfriend is taking out a loan of around £5-6k to pay for her brothers wedding. I am serious with my girlfriend (been together for 2 and a half years) and plan to marry couple years down the line when we are more financially secure.

A bit on our current situation: We have bought a 1 bed flat in shared ownership around year ago and both go 50/50 on everything, i.e. utility bills, rent, mortgage etc although i did provide 70% of the deposit. Neither of us currently have a cash flow of savings, its all locked down in the deposit of the flat.

My concern is her taking out a loan of her brothers wedding. His not the sharpest tool in the box and doesn't have any savings or a steady career. My girlfriend tells me she is unsure when he'll pay her back and she isn't exactly in the best financial position herself. According to her, it was either that she takes a loan out or her parents would have to remortgage the house for the wedding. Absolutely absurd I know, but in their culture its very important to keep face.

I'm definitely not keen on her taking out a loan, it will impact us both as a couple, i.e. we can't stair case up to 100% of the mortgage for the flat as quickly, she's putting on hold a much needed car to replace her old existing one and generally not having as much disposable income. God forbid if any of us lose our jobs we will really struggle to keep up with the mortgage and rent payments.

I don't really have much faith in her brother paying back. Like I said, he just doesn't seem to have much common sense.

How can I approach this issue? Clearly it isn't none of my business getting involved in their family affairs but at the same time I am in a financial commitment with my partner so I feel like I'm in the right to know but just don't know how to communicate it across in an effective manner?

How do the feel about their daughter being with a man and planning to marry when he has a son who's old enough to buy an M3?

BeenThroughItAll

Spicy_McHaggis wrote: »

How do the feel about their daughter being with a man and planning to marry when he has a son who's old enough to buy an M3?

And not just any M3. A forty grand M3 CSL.


Size of the OP's garage, I wouldn't think 5-6K would worry him, he must have an enormous house and plot of land to accommodate his M3, Yaris, gf's Yaris, Corolla, 200+K A3, and his Golf.

FatVonD

Spicy_McHaggis wrote: »

How do the feel about their daughter being with a man and planning to marry when he has a son who's old enough to buy an M3?

They're probably more worried about their daughter cohabiting

happiness.v4

So I'm on shared ownership... ok, admittedly I pay all the bills myself...but I couldn't think of taking a 1k loan out and paying it back let alone a 6k loan for a dopey brother! Work out what the monthly costs are going to be - go through it all. Work out what she's going to have to give up @ £X per month for X months and what she could get with that instead (bigger share in the property/ increase deposit for place of your own non shared ownership/increase in mortgage fees etc...)

In my mindset, the answer is NO! Whatever the cultural norms, get him to pay for it himself. Not her.

Not fair.

BeenThroughItAll

FatVonD wrote: »

They're probably more worried about their daughter cohabiting

I expect since they're imaginary, as are the M3, the wedding, the brother and the loan, there's not much of a problem.

Spicy_McHaggis

BeenThroughItAll wrote: »

And not just any M3. A forty grand M3 CSL.


Size of the OP's garage, I wouldn't think 5-6K would worry him, he must have an enormous house and plot of land to accommodate his M3, Yaris, gf's Yaris, Corolla, 200+K A3, and his Golf.

I suspect a Mercedes or two now.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5151415

The user also keeps getting mixed up with what generation of the family they are.

It like a forum version of where's wally.

Spicy_McHaggis

whitecloud663 wrote: »

Yes I'm Darkmatter101.

Incorrect, my dad drives an old Toyota.

Look who it's if folks.

Claire_A87

whitecloud663 wrote: »

According to her, she will have to pay for the first 3-4 months until her brother can get on his feet and he will start to pay back there on.

whitecloud663 wrote: »

my girlfriend and her mother have told him that the money is coming from the re-mortgaging of the house but its actually coming from my girlfriend. They believe this is the best option for them.

whitecloud663 wrote: »

If she does take a loan out I think she will make it clear to the brother so he feels more obligated to pay back.

I thought the brother would think the money was coming from the parents? This is why people smell a 'rat' OP!

Spicy_McHaggis

Claire_A87 wrote: »

I thought the brother would think the money was coming from the parents? This is why people smell a 'rat' OP!

It's not a rat we smell but bullishlt.

Lexie

pinkshoes wrote: »

Given you already have a mortgage, can she actually borrow any more money on her income??

I would sit down and show her how much it will cost each month, assuming she will not get the money back...

I would also make it clear that if he does not pay the money back, it will then jeopodise the two of you getting married.

Why cant she just tell her brother that she is not able to take a loan out due to money already borrowed for the mortgage?

If her parents want to remortgage the house, then let them. Make her see that this is a better idea...

This is what I was going to say, if parents are in India, they'll them she's been denied the loan as you've taken on a mortgage.