Mooloo's "Making my future, one stitch at a time"?

Savvy_sewing

I will get my Dad to have a chat I think!!

geminilady

Did you ask her what the secrets were? I would tell her it is wrong for them to ask her to keep secrets from you and to ignore what they say,reassuring her she will not get in any trouble for telling you.It is worrying.

candlelight_2013

A chat with whom, DGD or DD and BF?.

If it is DD and BF they are not going to tell him the truth because they have told DGD not to tell you.

Please don't doubt that what DGD tells you is the truth, because if she can see you don't believe her she won't tell you anything in the future

Candlelightx

Brighton_belle

geminilady wrote: »

Did you ask her what the secrets were? I would tell her it is wrong for them to ask her to keep secrets from you and to ignore what they say,reassuring her she will not get in any trouble for telling you.It is worrying.

Well from a child's point of view, perhaps not strictly true - telling mooloo might result in her not being allowed to stay with her mother or go out with her anywhere.
Very difficult situation mooloo, but of course, her mother has been assessed as unable to safely parent DGD and this tallies with that.
I doubt whether her mother or the BF have the capacity to understand how damaging it is for a child to be made to keep secrets from other close family members, in this case, her primary source of love and safety. Their behaviour suggests they believe DGD to be 'theirs' and Mooloo to be the interloper.


I don't doubt Mooloo totally believes dgd though.

Errata

Mooloo wrote: »

I will get my Dad to have a chat I think!!

You're far more easy going than I would be. I'd be round at her mum's house reading her BF the riot act.
How much effect do you believe a 'chat' with an 80+ year old man will have on a young bloke in his 20's (?) who IIRC has only moved in with your daughter in the last few weeks? Very little I suspect.
Sorry to sound harsh, but you responsibility is to guard your DGD from harm as far as you are able. The set up with her mum and her BF isn't coming across as a healthy and appropriate behaviour for your DGD.

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo has Twin 1's BF had a CRB check? My first priority would not be to have a word with them in any capacity as that is warning them there is something to know! I would be getting to the bottom of what these 'secrets' are if possible and would be avoiding their contact until I am reassured..Twin1 is very doubtful capable of keeping DGD safe emotionally or physically from her BF so surely a CRB should be had if he is allowed overnight care if DGD given the history of why she can't live with mum in the first place?

Savvy_sewing

He has been around for two years now. He was part of a Family Safety Agreement, in the beginning. I don't know if they CRB checked him or not.
He is always talking a load of nonsense. DGD tells me everything. As far as I know.
My Old man of 83, is a very strong, upright RAF Warrent Officer. He is taken note of where ever he goes! I assure you he would get through to them! But the reason I was going to get him to have a chat was as he lives near them and has time to talk. twin1 listens to him too.
I will be telling them myself, before they have DGD again. If the bf carries on DGD will no doubt tell me, and I will make access restricted, or stopped if necessary.
Which is sad as she loves her Mum, and I really don't want to be a baddy!! But I will if I have too.

Savvy_sewing

Morning, from quite a jaded Moo!
One of the cats didn't come in when I went to bed, so every time I needed the loo I was at the back door calling it. Finally at 5.30 it came in. As they are Biggests cats and not mine I was worried I would loose it!
So I was awake even more then usual. I need energy and vitality, instead I'm just cream crackered.
DGD enjoyed Brownies, but it's a late night for her and it takes a while for her to wind down afterwards. So she was still awake at 9.30 when I was ready for bed!
This morning she will be a nightmare to get ready for school.
It is Parents evening today. I asked for a 6-6.30 slot, to allow time to close the shop, get her from afterschool club and get to the school. They gave me a 5.30 slot!
So a mad dash, do I go straight to school and collect her after? Or will they run late and then afterschool club will be messed around if I am not there in time. Hobson's choice.
I can't close the shop early, it is not professional to keep changing the hours.
Not that the parents evening won't tell me much I don't already know.
Time to wake DGD and get moving. It's the "last get up alarm".

Savvy_sewing

DS rang, they view the house on Friday. And get the keys aswell.
Yeah!
Twin2 is struggling, and is out of food. Asda delivery sorted and will be with her tomorrow. ( better then sending money that will go on god knows what).
not heard from twin 1
nor Biggest, but wasn't expecting too.
Spoke to my parents via Skype. You gotta love Skype. Wish we had had it when we were young, my grandparents would have much preferred it to getting a cine film and a reel to reel voice tape in the post!
( we were in Kenya and they were in Scotland).
DGD parents evening.
She is showing signs of her Mothers problems. Dyspraxia as well as dyslexia, she doesn't keep still, easily distracted, and lack of confidence.
All sounds pretty familiar to me.
Lots to do to work with her.
Reading age is about 5 still. ( she is 7 1/2).
But nothing I didn't know. Looks like the battle with education for extra support really is on now.
And on that note, I'm off to bed.

choccymoose

Hi Mooloo, I read often but comment little but hoping I can give you a little support.

My youngest has dyslexia and dysgraphia in addition to an audio processing disorder which has made literacy a huge difficulty for him, at the age of 7 I took him for a colouromitery screening which found he suffered from visual stress (irlens syndrome / scotopic sensitivity are other names for it) He sees rainbows when looking at black text on white paper and had huge tracking issues, he could track vertically but not horizontaly. we were given exercises and an specially tinted overlay to use for 6 weeks.

The change was immediate and 6 weeks later he had glasses made up in the specific tint to help him. 2 years later he is catching up massively, he still has handwriting issues but uses assisting technology at the school called clicker 6 which reads back his typed work to him. But the difference in his reading with the glasses and reading without the glasses is so noticeable . They think that 50 % of people with dyslexia have visual stress too but don't know it, it's was only because of my job at the time that I knew the difference coloured lenses can make.

Unfortunately screening and glasses are not available everywhere on the NHS though