Boyfriend disclosed he visited a prostitute in India one year before we got together

DUTR

nash1977 wrote: »

I spent 3 months volunteering and then travelling India and it was very depressing to see young women and children forced into prostitution. They didn't have a choice, they had no other option because of poverty.

Did you donate any money to any of them? For every £1 you donated meant one less trick they had to perform.

Gloomendoom

DUTR wrote: »

It's amusing when you watch films (pretty woman springs to mind) the sex workers are always very attractive, where as the reality is that when you see them on the news, they don't look like (to me) girls I would look twice at in a bar or out and about.

I know what you mean, but then I've always quite particular.

I used to work at a place right in the middle of Wolverhampton's "red light" district. They would pop out of doorways and ask if I "had the time". I got embarrassed at first but then it started to annoy me and my response of "Not for you love" used to elicit some colourful language.

DUTR

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I know what you mean, but then I've always quite particular.

I used to work at a place right in the middle of Wolverhampton's "red light" district. They would pop out of doorways and ask if I "had the time". I got embarrassed at first but then it started to annoy me and my response of "Not for you love" used to elicit some colourful language.

Which is a good point also missed from the thread, perhaps the sex worker had approached the OP's now partner not he approach her. The workers used to be in the centre of Walsall also, years back in Brum it used to be Balsall Heath, I remember they built some new houses and advertised them as in Calthorpe park, I felt sorry for the purchasers usually from out of the county that wondered why the lady on the footpath was waiting so long for a taxi :eek: .

Mojisola

DUTR wrote: »

Which is a good point also missed from the thread, perhaps the sex worker had approached the OP's now partner not he approach her.

And forced him to have sex with her?

DUTR

Mojisola wrote: »

And forced him to have sex with her?

Well at a £1 that is a hard offer to refuse
I agree he could have declined , however for what reason only he would know, he chose to go ahead. Whatever we think about his choice at the time is a moot point.
The OP will have to decide if they wish to continue with this guy or how are they going to know with the next guy.

Gavin83

DUTR wrote: »

I'm now sitting on the side of the fence that the OP should drop her partner, but not because of the STI's or abusing others, but more for the fact that she knows he can and will go elsewhere for what he is not getting at 'home' and some people cannot deal with that.

I don't see how any of the posts highlight that. He visited the prostitute before they were together, there is nothing here to indicate he would cheat on her.

DUTR wrote: »

It's amusing when you watch films (pretty woman springs to mind) the sex workers are always very attractive, where as the reality is that when you see them on the news, they don't look like (to me) girls I would look twice at in a bar or out and about.

Depends where you go. Have a walk around the red light district in Amsterdam, some of them women could be supermodels.

DUTR

Gavin83 wrote: »

I don't see how any of the posts highlight that. He visited the prostitute before they were together, there is nothing here to indicate he would cheat on her.



Depends where you go. Have a walk around the red light district in Amsterdam, some of them women could be supermodels.

I was gong to post about the Netherlands earlier, my sport had me travel there to compete, 'it would be wrong' not to visit the tourist attractions, the 1st time I went I agree they were very attractive, the 2nd time I went the ones in the window are often imported but none looked tempting (to me) .

j.e.j.

DUTR wrote: »

It's amusing when you watch films (pretty woman springs to mind) the sex workers are always very attractive, where as the reality is that when you see them on the news, they don't look like (to me) girls I would look twice at in a bar or out and about.

The old tools you see hanging round on street corners don't look that attractive, tis true



but I would think you can get a more classy hooker if you know where to go.

Not for £1 though!!

mumps

DUTR wrote: »

I'd have liked to have pressed the thanks button, but for the sensationalism at the end, it's not only sex workers or stray hubbys that are subject to STI's (it's just like not only smokers get cancer) .
I'm surprised your line of work hasn't exposed you to female's that you were also shocked that are in the industry much to your surpise.

I'm now sitting on the side of the fence that the OP should drop her partner, but not because of the STI's or abusing others, but more for the fact that she knows he can and will go elsewhere for what he is not getting at 'home' and some people cannot deal with that.

I am well aware that it isn't only sex workers, or their clients, who get STIs but I wouldn't know that about other people. My job meant I did know this woman's husband was using sex workers who were carrying these particular conditions, we were aware of it for our own health e.g. a sex worker with HIV cut her wrists and we were very careful with first aid not that we wouldn't be careful anyway but extra careful.

Some people would know a man or woman had an STI, maybe a nurse, doctor or NHS receptionist and they would also be unable to disclose it to their partners.

I think the only real shock I got with females in the industry was when I came in one day and saw a photo of a girl who had been cautioned the night before and I used to work with her I wondered why she had changed careers but never saw her again.

Most of the sex workers I encountered didn't shock or surprise me, one or two impressed me with how they were planning to change their lives with the money they were making, lots of them were really nice, a few were quite sad, the young ones with drug problems, the heavily pregnant girls working when due to give birth. To be honest not that different to any group you might meet.

Gloomendoom

So not being exploited then?