Coping with Xmas Day - help please

Buzzybee90

Sad that anyone should have to 'cope' with Christmas Day.

Personally if you really don't enjoy it that much, I'd send him and you stay at home (get him to learn to drive!) my OH is free to visit his family on Christmas Day, or mine, but he knows I will always spend it with my family.

pickledonionspaceraider

No advise how to deal with it OP, other than get out of there as soon as possible. There is nothing like spending christmas in your own home I believe

IMO there is nothing worse than spending xmas day at someone elses house, doing the whole day ''their way'', watching what they want on tv, being crammed in to too small seating arrangements, feeling uncomfortable...I really REALLY hate it and dont blame you one bit for showing a inclination to want to stay at home with your OH.

All the forced happiness really gets to me

Blackpool_Saver

mandi wrote: »

This is exactly what I mean about Christmas - Frankly it sounds like hell OP

If it was me I would sudden onset winter vomiting - very infectious - wouldn't want to ruin Christmas for everyone blah blah .:whistle:

Yep, projectile vomiting should get you out of it ;-)

tea_lover

Doesn't the queens speech last about 5 mins? Can you really not be polite for that long?

Mojisola

Either don't go or go and join in with a bit of grace. By deciding to wear jeans, etc, you're going to make the day worse for yourself and everyone else. It's only one day and, once this year is over, it's not going to happen for another two years!

I would definitely set in advance the time you are leaving and stick to it, even if pressure is applied to make you stay.

belfastgirl23

A lot of it is about how you look at it. I think you're seeing all the negatives. Maybe it's worth listing the positives. They want you there. your DH will be happy you're there. Someone else is cooking for you Will the food be good? Next year you'll have the hols to yourself. And actually you're being the bigger person in doing something like this even though you aren't looking forward to it. Don't take the good out of it by overthinking it. Can you also make a point of having something to look forward to when you get home? A special bottle of wine or your favourite chocolates?

As an aside, DH's mum was always like this til he developed a technique of giving her a sherry as early as humanly possible and topping it up when she wasn't looking. It worked pretty well, she relaxed and so did everyone else

And not to be morbid but if one of them wasn't there you would have the other one all the time - so be glad they're both there.

Primrose

Tell them well in advance that you now find it very difficult to drive in the dark for safety reasons if it's a long drive so as the journey takes X time and your husband doesn,t drive you really have no option to leave no later than XX time to get home so you hope they will understand And make sure your husband backs you up. This won,t be possible if you've been driving to and from work recently in the dark though.

DFlights

Update;

Spoke to OH (or at least, tried to) and he says that laving time will depend on when dinner is planned. Dinner last time we were there was so disorganised, we didn't eat until 8pm. It's not a case of leaving at four or five instead of three, it really is a case of possibly nt getting back on the road until nine or ten.
And they absolutely refuse to have present opening before dinner.
Yes, the food is lovely, but even with a big breakfast, I was starving by 8pm! This happens regularly; for some reason, no matter how early in the day they start or put the bird in the oven, it's always more than a couple of hours over time. I have no idea how they manage to be that disorganised! They also go to their local for a few hours, which may explain the stress and lack of organisation, as they're both a bit pie-eyed when they come back, are sometimes late so have to rush everything, and still won't let us do anything, even prepping the veg.

And the suggestion of going out for dinner wasn't received well, so that idea's a no-goer (I thought it might be nice to not have to worry about cooking or washing up for them, but they are horrified at the thought of other people working on Xmas day).

So, no leaving time set yet, we're still running to their schedule (whatever that is) and OH is leaving me feeling less than supported.

The time thing is the sticking point at the mo.

System

I feel like you could be describing my family, we always end up eating dinner late, my dad insists on watching the queens speech and we open presents after dinner too. We do dress up, well...thats not a mandatory thing, i just like doing it , though nobody else joins in anymore (my sister was wearing her onesie last year :eek: )

Though i understand for others that may be hell.

What time do you want to leave realistically? And what can you do to facilitate that (that they haven't ruled out)?

dirty_magic

It's not emotional blackmail, it's doing something for your OH for one day. If you tell yourself you won't enjoy something then you won't.

Just because it's Christmas it doesn't mean it all has to be the perfect day that you want. You've already said you're atheist so it obviously doesn't have any special religious meaning for you.

IMO Christmas is about family, and to me that means sacrificing what you want to make others happy. You can have your nice quiet day with your OH on boxing day, it's not the end of the world.