NOT BUYING IT! 2015 - A consumer holiday

Caterina

De-lurking because this is not something I am going to read and run.

(((((Slowdown))))) look after yourself. Look, it takes one to recognise one, it sounds like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders (how come? I though it was me carrying it!).

Your DH is absolutely right. If you can't find another job, leave the one you are in. But moreover I would advise you to take stress sickness leave if it is making you ill (the waking up in the night and not being able to sleep is a classic symptom of acute stress). Believe me I know what you are going through, I took a local government employer to industrial tribunal for constructive dismissal after years of unbearable working conditions - it is NOT WORTH IT risking your health and well being.

We only have this life, we have a responsibility to ourselves and to our loved ones (but especially to ourselves) to live it at the best possible level, reaping as much joy and happiness as we can, only like this we can feel fulfilled and give out joy and happiness to others.

I hope with all my heart that you will find your way through these difficulties, but please step off the pedal, get help and let the managemrnt go to hell for a while, or forever if need be. Your doctor will have heard hundreds if not thousands of work stress cases and I am sure he or she will be sympathetic. A while off work will also give you the strength and calm, and time! to look for other work.

Warmest wishes xx

115K

It's a very grim, dark, rainy day out there, I hope people will stay safe if affected by the bad weather. I keep thinking about those poor victims in Paris yesterday too.:( Very shocking.

People talking about MMM on here has made me think about our planned house move this year and wondering whether we should stay put and plan for early retirement instead. I tend to be cautious and have started worrying about money matters. Argh, will just keep an eye on the house prices and keep saving each month until we decide.

I'm having another no spend day today.

Primrose

I think the austerity programme under which everybody has been living has increased working stress levels for pretty much everyone, whether in the public or private sector - fewer employees, bigger workloads and stressed bosses who are looking over their shoulders thinking their next performance appraisal might be their last.
I think the organisations which encourage employees to be kind to each other are becoming a rarity.
This means stress levels are invariably increasing and it does pay to recognise when you are reaching a peak because often the results of acute stress only become apparent several years down the line in terms of reactive ill health. Stress makes life a misery. Don't ignore it in the work place and flag it up.


And on the supermarket topic, my secret is to have a list, and if you visit the same supermarket every time, note down the aisles in which your required items are stocked. And avoid the other aisles like the plague. Temptation always lurks there. When my OH shops alone, he insists on going up and down every aisle in case he sees something interesting which is worth trying. I can't tell you how many times this has resulted in extra items being loaded into the trolley.

Aril

There is a saying that "your health is your wealth" and from my perspective that includes your mental aswell as physical.

Due to stress from a job I loved and enormous personal stresses over a few years I went through an early menopause and then following my redundancy in 2011 a complete breakdown. I've had anxiety and depression for years but this was one a very serious scale to the point where I was treated in hospital. Do whatever you need to make yourself well and keep well. I've shared this info because I have blogged about it previously and I am not ashamed of it. Well on the road to recovery now I have fallen back in love with living after, at my lowest ebb seriously considering if it was worth carrying on.

Arilx

Slowdown

Well you lovely, lovely people have put a much better slant on my day. I cut back to 3 days a week last year as a step away from the stress and sadly it's not the practicalities of the job that are a problem its a management issue. I also got a lovely supportive text from an ex colleague this morning which made me feel loved, and that's special. She left at Christmas under enormous stress from same management but different problems. Two other, extremely competent staff left last summer for similar reasons. It's not a particularly happy place to be and now with nearly all new staff its a very different place to be.

I shall do a little self nurturing over the next few days, take on board all the advice from my lovely ship mates and find a way to move forward.

Your comments are greatly appreciated and honestly make a difference to my life. Thank you

Kind regards
Slowdown:)

Primrose

Slowdown. What a pity former staff who leave under such managements for stress reasons can't band together to exercise some pressure from outside the system. Those still in the system feel intimidated to speak because of potential pressure. Often those who have left can spesk freely and if enough such people had the courage to speak out perhaps slowly these management problems might be addressed.

purpleshoes_2

Health comes first. Easy to say when you aren't in that situation but I suffered from work related stress for the best part of 11 years, I loved my job, I was good at it, I was sacked from one job for complaining about my horrible working conditions which included an 18 month hate campaign to get me removed from my job by two junioir staff who wanted my job, threats of violence, at one point I was working with a police trace on my work landline, when I got to the point I could take no more and went into grievance I was dismissed. When I look back I stayed in many jobs way too long in the hope that things would change.

It can be terrifying when you are in a job to go into grievance, I know in more than one job if I had done so, I'd have lost it. Attack is the best form of defence for many employers, I've been told so many times I'm awful at my job and had many personal things said to me just because I raised concerns about my working conditions.

Some employers have very good policies on paper that mean diddly squat when you really need support.

[Deleted User]

Good Morning chums well I retired from work almost 20 years ago and to be honest really don't miss it, although I loved my job I knew there was more to life than what I was doing.

I decided to do what I wanted to do for a change, and made a list of all the things I never had time to do because of work,children ,mortgages and general life ect.

I have had a great time since, and learned so much I took some GCSE's and a few other exams ,went to Uni for a degree, learned to swim (in my 60s) and have had such a terrific life after work, far more exciting than toiling away.

Even did a 'Thelma and Louise' tour with my oldest friend around north east coast of the US.

The downside was I sadly lost my lovely husband 11 years ago and went through breast cancer with a mastectomy and chemo and all the rotten things that the illness brings .

But I have bounced back and having had two ops. last year am just awaiting my final op. later this month for my breast reconstruction.


We downsized to the Medway from our oversized house in London and although its small its perfectly situated for shops,yet five minutes from green fields and half an hour from the coast.
My eldest DD leads a very stressful life, with a highly stressful job and I keep trying to persuade her that life is for living and work isn't the be all and end all.

I have seen all of my seven gorgeous grandschildren grow up, four are now adults. I look after the other three after school.

I live well if frugally, yet never go without anything .I find the older you get the less you need and things that you considered essential in your 50s are irrelevant in your 70s.


So to those of you who may be thinking of retiring,downsizing etc I would say go for it.
Life is so precious (no one knows that more than me ) enjoy the smaller things in life and the bigger things really don't matter that much in the scale of things.

My eldest DD works at a special -needs school and is the business manager there She worries constantly about her job and the children ,staff etc .I keep telling her if ,god forbid ,she fell under a bus the school would still go on, the kids would survive, and her colleagues would still get paid. When a job starts impinging on your health with stress, its time to walk away and smell the roses.

Life is not a rehearsal and you don't get to rerun it.

Don't get to the end of your life wishing 'If only I had done that ' Get up and do it now while you still can.:D:D:D
JackieO

P.S. by the way I'm on day 8 of NSD :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

P.P.S. just seen on the news that Tesco's have a problem and are shutting some stores !!!! hope their not connected :):):):)

nursemaggie

Hi Slowdown I was going to ask your age but you penultimate remark gave me an idea.

I am sure your OH meant you should retire. The main thing to think of is can you manage especially if you were left on your own?

Well I come on these boards not to save money because I want to but due to many accumulative health problems and other things I just have to save as much money as I can to be able to eat. It is surprising how well you can live on a very low income. Of course not every bit of advice will be suited to you, you just have to find out.

The one thing you need more than anything is a cushion. Low pensions do not enable you to buy such things as WM and Fridges. As long as you have enough put by to buy these several times. In the last 5 years I have got through two WM and two fridge freezers. They last no time these days.

The level to pitch your savings is below any benefit you may qualify for in the future but high enough to pay for all the extras for the rest of your life. Otherwise I would go for it.

Caterina has a point there are lots of things you can do from home. In the meantime don't let this stress ruin your health for life. Go sick if you can't cope with it any more just don't leave until it will take you years to recover.

I am sure I am not just speaking for myself, we all think you are far to nice a person to be permanently damaged by this. Take care.

purpleshoes_2

To cut a very long story short, I'm self employed, have been for the last five years or so, don't earn tons of money, but I am well, although my mental health took such a pounding over the years I'm a bit battered but life is much better than it used to be. I've also seen people go through living hell in their jobs, I was a youth worker and drug worker and worked for charities, sadly in that line of work, teaching, nursing and the like a lot of staff suffer. I have a relative who has never been maltreated in his life at work and thats how it should be. The site bully online was a great help to me, even if you aren't being bullied its worth a read. Occupational health were also fantastic to me when things were at their worst and sometimes you can find local projects where you can self refer if you are suffering from work related stress. I also met one nightmare of a boss two years ago when I was working part time in a gym and ended up unwell again but got out and I'm staying self employed from now on. My doctors werent supportive but I've just got rubbish doctors, I know other people whose doctors are wonderful. When you can't sleep and its impacting on your life, even if you decide to try and fight what's going on, sadly getting out for some is the only way. I miss my old job at timed but I have no regrets, the quality of life I have now is like night and day.