Always skint and have a 3 month old child. I need money advice

lidlest

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

"Those kinds of people" were simply just commenting on that how if you need to do extra hours to earn extra money then you can....it is possible.

Many people had suggested that the OP get a second job, even just a little one (night, weekend etc), but straight away those suggestions were shot down because he was already doing 32 hours a week.

Making your own sandwiches etc is a start, and will save him some money, but to earn anything decent to be able to help support his child, then yes, a second job is the way to go IMO.

Millions of people do it....because they have to.

It's fine to say ' get a second job' , it's not fine to act as if this young man is doing nothing all week and then to moan about your own situation as if you are a martyr and use that to smack him over the head and make him feel bad.

If you can't see the difference , well then we are not going to agree

lulu_92

lidlest wrote: »

It's fine to say ' get a second job' , it's not fine to act as if this young man is doing nothing all week and then to moan about your own situation as if you are a martyr and use that to smack him over the head and make him feel bad.

If you can't see the difference , well then we are not going to agree

I think it is important to show the OP the lengths that other people go to in their own lives, just to show that life is not a walk in the park.

I've had it relatively easy. I got a job when I was at uni that fit in with my studies perfectly, I was doing 75 hours a week sometimes but I had nothing better to do with my time so might aswell be getting paid to see my friends at work. I now have a different job where I work 40 hours per week and earn decent money doing so.

My mum never had it easy, far from it but I have never in my 22 years on this earth seen her using her experience to be a martyr.

19lottie82

Hi OP - Right, you need to improve your incomings or reduce your outgoings. It doesn't look like the latter is doable, so you MUST improve your income. Try looking for bar work a couple of shifts a week. I appreciate you'd rather not take on an additional job, but needs must and that.

2 shifts a week + tips will prob = £100 a week, if you get a good pub. That means your monthly wage would double!

I worked a FT job + 2-3 bar shifts in the evenings for 6 years. It's not so bad once you get used to it. A lot of places will take people on with no experience too.

The reality is an apprenticeship doesn't pay enough for an apprentice to live independently, hence why more live at home with parents etc.

RAS

lulu_92 wrote: »

IMy mum never had it easy, far from it but I have never in my 22 years on this earth seen her using her experience to be a martyr.

Conversely mine did, full-time for decades.

None of which helps the OP who is only just beginning to learn how to live on his own and doing rather well compared with someone I know at the same sort of age. And compared with a lot of university students his age, he is doing very well with a lot less support.

Come on, he does not even know what Council tax is. He needs to learn how to feed himself more effectively and cheaper but that takes time. He's already sussed the laundry situation. He is at least buying a cheap multi-journey travel pass.

He's taken on board the suggestions about cheaper lunches and getting some extra hours if possible. Good on him.

OP, if you would like to come over to the MoneySaving Oldstyle forum, we are absolutely terrifying but there are a load of people who can help you menu plan, make use of yellow sticker goods, charity shop, maintain your clothes, find cheap shaving kit etc.

supersaver2

lidlest wrote: »

It's fine to say ' get a second job' , it's not fine to act as if this young man is doing nothing all week and then to moan about your own situation as if you are a martyr and use that to smack him over the head and make him feel bad.

If you can't see the difference , well then we are not going to agree

I wholeheartedly agree with your posts. This young man is being proactive and taking suggestions on board. I also don't think it's helpful to bring up what 'mums with cancer' do and people who work ridiculous hours a week (which to be fair isn't advisable and will be detrimental to your health).

Good luck OP, hopefully when you qualify your situation will improve dramatically and you can provide more financial help.

tesuhoha

Just one more suggestion, could you look on Freecycle to see if you could pick up a washing machine and tumble dryer. You might have to pay to have the washing machine plumbed in but long term it would save you money.

lidlest

lulu_92 wrote: »

I think it is important to show the OP the lengths that other people go to in their own lives, just to show that life is not a walk in the park.

IF it was said in a " hey chin up, we've been there, had to do some awful hours and jobs when I was younger, it does get better" way then fine.. But if you read back over some of these posts they were not helpful they were attacking. I've also had some awful times, doing a sex chat line all night while my kid slept and the. Being up all day was my personal low point.

However, if you are working 110 hours a week to survive something is wrong, with the economy, with wages, with prices, with a government who doesn't give a toss that the rich get richer while us middle folk and poorer folk get poorer. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom!!!! And if a young guy can't spare come cash for nappies even though he works 32 hours a week and studies on the other day then That is the issue!!

lulu_92

lidlest wrote: »

IF it was said in a " hey chin up, we've been there, had to do some awful hours and jobs when I was younger, it does get better" way then fine.. But if you read back over some of these posts they were not helpful they were attacking. I've also had some awful times, doing a sex chat line all night while my kid slept and the. Being up all day was my personal low point.

However, if you are working 110 hours a week to survive something is wrong, with the economy, with wages, with prices, with a government who doesn't give a toss that the rich get richer while us middle folk and poorer folk get poorer. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom!!!! And if a young guy can't spare come cash for nappies even though he works 32 hours a week and studies on the other day then That is the issue!!

The way I was saying it, I meant that both sides needed to listen.

sorry for having an opinion.

lidlest

lulu_92 wrote: »

The way I was saying it, I meant that both sides needed to listen.

sorry for having an opinion.

If you weren't attacking why would you think that was aimed at you? lol It was a follow on to your point, a continuation of the ongoing discussion

notanewuser

lidlest wrote: »

However, if you are working 110 hours a week to survive something is wrong, with the economy, with wages, with prices, with a government who doesn't give a toss that the rich get richer while us middle folk and poorer folk get poorer. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom!!!! And if a young guy can't spare come cash for nappies even though he works 32 hours a week and studies on the other day then That is the issue!!

I applaud the OP for continuing with his apprenticeship. Hopefully it will lead to better things.

However, he's had a significant amount of time to work out how this is going to work. It's not the government's fault that he's spending too much on food and phones to pay for his child's needs, or that he doesn't know what council tax is, or that a baby was born without sufficient support being in place. The government is, however, ensuring that the child is provided for with likely a significant amount of benefits.