Always skint and have a 3 month old child. I need money advice

Faith177

lidlest wrote: »

IF it was said in a " hey chin up, we've been there, had to do some awful hours and jobs when I was younger, it does get better" way then fine.. But if you read back over some of these posts they were not helpful they were attacking. I've also had some awful times, doing a sex chat line all night while my kid slept and the. Being up all day was my personal low point.

However, if you are working 110 hours a week to survive something is wrong, with the economy, with wages, with prices, with a government who doesn't give a toss that the rich get richer while us middle folk and poorer folk get poorer. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom!!!! And if a young guy can't spare come cash for nappies even though he works 32 hours a week and studies on the other day then That is the issue!!

when i made my original post I was frustrated at the OP as it seem every suggestion was meant with a "yeah but" so I will admit my original post was written in the heat of the moment and I maybe could have been less critical but hindsight and all that

However later on when I could see that the OP was beginning to seem like he was taking things on board I offered him some advice on lunches ect

I even said that I think the OP has it in him to go far but at the start of the thread he seemed reluctant to any ideas people gave and that got my back up a little tbh

I think some people mis-read what i said about OH's hours he works 110 hours SOMETIMES this is on the occssions when the other managers are away unfortunatly in the pub game you have to work the hours they tell you and because it's salary you don't get extra as I said in original post. Pub jobs are known for their rubbish hours

With me i just haven't had a pay rise in 3 years now but everything has gone up including the travel to get to work :rotfl:

Which backs up what you were saying lidlist with regards to the economy ect and the whole NMW and apprentice pay is a curse that people sometimes have to put up with and it shouldn't be like that

supersaver2

lulu_92 wrote: »

The way I was saying it, I meant that both sides needed to listen.

sorry for having an opinion.

What 'sides' exactly? We have a young man tying to sort himself out, he's had some great suggestions, but some of the posts have been unhelpful and written to belittle.

No need to throw your toys out the pram, I can't see anybody telling you not to have an opinion!.

Poppie68

Absolutely ridiculous, people including myself were reacting to the Op posting for advice then when given helpful advice of the option of a second job, he complained he was to tired after a 32 hours week to even consider this, yet there is a new baby that needs providing for. So what if he is only 19 he is an adult old enough to make a child so needs to do everything humanly possible to look after it.
People relating their own life experiences is allowed and a lot of people asking for help I'm sure find them helpful, and it isn't against forum rules . Funny how threads always morph into a relative massacre when the 'stop' brigade turn up, and anything helpful gets lost in the carnage.

lulu_92

lidlest wrote: »

If you weren't attacking why would you think that was aimed at you? lol It was a follow on to your point, a continuation of the ongoing discussion

I wasn't attacking in the slightest, was there any malice in my post?

I was simply saying that I don't know what it is like to have to fend for myself like OH because of my relatively easy adult life. But I'm also saying that there's no need for people to make him feel bad by saying their situation was worse, but at the same time it's always nice for the OP to know he could be in a much worse position.

supersaver2 wrote: »

What 'sides' exactly? We have a young man tying to sort himself out, he's had some great suggestions, but some of the posts have been unhelpful and written to belittle.

No need to throw your toys out the pram, I can't see anybody telling you not to have an opinion!.

So on one side we have him and the people supporting him, and on the other we have the unhelpful ones.

I'm not "throwing my toys out of the pram" - it was just my opinion. (although I do need to go back to bed so excuse some of the apparent crankiness! )

RAS

Perhaps it would be a good idea if everyone left this thread alone for a while and let the OP follow up the advice already given.

Shen81

Martin Lewis would be embarrassed by some of the replies in this thread. He started Moneysavingexpert to help people like this young man. What we see here is a contrast between genuine people who come on here and share Martin's philosophy of helping people save money and people who come here just to pick faults in people and argue amongst themselves. The maturity of this young man really shows, when he says he just ignored the snotty people. Credit where credit is due, that is a very admirable quality he has and puts the people posting those comments to shame.

Flinchy-Stryder, I see nobody else has mentioned this yet. As you are studying in college, there is a bursary fund available for 16-19 year old's in your position. You can get up to £1200 in a single payment which I think will help you long term by enabling you to save some money at the start of each month. Check to see if you are eligible for this. I know for definite it is an advantage if you are a parent or living away from home. Both of these apply to you. Good luck.

*Edit or if you are in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland you are entitled to EMA. They scrapped EMA in England and replaced it with the bursary fund.

Georgiegirl256

lidlest wrote: »

It's fine to say ' get a second job' , it's not fine to act as if this young man is doing nothing all week and then to moan about your own situation as if you are a martyr and use that to smack him over the head and make him feel bad.

If you can't see the difference , well then we are not going to agree

I guess we're not then. What I do see though is that when the OP shut down any suggestions of doing extra work people offered examples of how it is possible, possible to do a lot more hours than 32 if needs be.

Obviously doing 105 hours a week is not advisable, I wouldn't recommend it and I wouldn't want to do it.

But really, you do what needs must, and if you need more money then you take on a second job. Even one/two nights a week would make a big difference.

I commend the OP for doing as well as he's doing at his age, but he came on here asking for advice and that is what he got. At first he shut down any idea of extra work, but now apparently he's enquiring about a p/t job. So, people's advice has got him thinking.

Georgiegirl256

supersaver2 wrote: »

I also don't think it's helpful to bring up what 'mums with cancer' do.

Below the belt.

System

Judi wrote: »

nowt wrong with getting your priorities right. :-(

Must admit my previous post was a bit sharp. I didn't realize the OP was so young. We all have to learn.

Apologies for my sarcasm.

lidlest

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I guess we're not then. What I do see though is that when the OP shut down any suggestions of doing extra work people offered examples of how it is possible, possible to do a lot more hours than 32 if needs be.

.

see i agree to an extent - but lets make sure we have it in perspective, that's 32 hours + college. Now, a comment saying that you can work more hours than that and get used to it, you just need to change your mindset would have been helpful. The posts ridiculing his idea of hard work, and scoffing at him, and bringing up hardships were not necessary IMO

let's remember that although this is online, we are responding to people, and frankly his maturity at ignoring the comments should be commended. At 19 i'd probably have gone ' sod you all, i hate the world' and stormed off somewhere