Please help a very new mum

CathG78

view wrote: »

Hi all

Very new mum here of four days. Breastfeeding issues and hours of red in the face screaming through the night. She won't take the breast very often and won't take a bottle of expressed (last resort in early hours). Please tell me it gets better.

Alongside this baby doesn't really like sleeping in Moses basket. One of us is up with her when she's sleeping having to hold her whilst the other tries to sleep. Managed to get her to sleep in it today, I take it it's a case of just keep trying? Which now makes me worry about if she does sleep in the basket how can I stop worrying she'll be ok and sleep myself?

Feeling exhausted and a bit overwhelmed.

Any advice appreciated

Awww, it's so easy to feel like this. you're not the first and definitely not the last! Your hospital shoudl have access to some breastfeeding councellors that can help. Try also the Breastfeeding Network - they have a help line that can help lots and give you advice. My own advice : DON'T expect it to be easy - it isn't at first. Don't expect it to come naturally, it doesn't - not for you OR the baby - you're learning a new skill, as is your baby and it can take a bit of time, but once you 'get' it, it will suddenly click into place. If it hurts, stop! If it's painful, then your baby doesn't have the right latch. Take him/her off and try again. Don't be afraid to top up with a bottle - no matter what they say IT IS NOT THE END for breastfeeding and will not confuse your baby - neither does a dummy. Just make sure that for any bottle feed you give, you Must express a feed, or your supply will diminish. I personally got a pump and did a couple of pumps on each boob every 10 minutes at first, as it tricks your body into the supply/demand state, and you will get lots of milk coming in. If it feels wrong TO YOU then it's wrong. If it feels right TO YOU, then it's right. Don't worry about the housework. Drink at least 6-8 pints of water a day if breastfeeding. Eat well, avoiding citrus fruits (tummy ache for baby). Go on YouTube and search for new breastfeeding or similar for videos on how to latch and also other positions that make it easier for new mums (I found the 'rugby ball' hold the best one when I first started).

You could also join a group on the internet called Babycentre. They have groups for the month of your baby's birth, so there will be lots of women with same age children who all chat and compare notes. It's friendly and everyone has the same or similar issues around the same time.

As for the moses basket - my daughter HATED hers and refused to sleep in it. I didn't bother buying one for my son. If your baby prefers to sleep in the car seat, on the floor, in a crib, in a cot or on a washing line, then just follow his/her lead. The most important thing is that you get some sleep, not where that sleep is. As long as s/he is safe then it's all an option. My brother's baby only slept in his pram. So that's where he slept.

Babies also like lots of noise. Hoovers, washing machines etc. Also, try to get a recording of a heartbeat - like off youtube off someone's ultrasound or whatever, record it on your phone and play it to your baby when trying to comfort. Honestly, it's amazing - it's all your baby has heard for the last 9 months and it's a reassuring sound for them.

It gets better, but not because it gets easier, just because you learn along the way.

CathG78

view wrote: »

A massive heartfelt thank you to everyone who took the time to reply and all of your positive messages. I took the time to read through it a few times over the night and I'm feeling in a much brighter place today. We decided to not wake her from a deep sleep to feed her every three hours as we were instructed to, as we thought this was causing the hysterical behaviour. She woke of her own accord and become hysterical twice but managed to feed and also finally took the expressed bottle from my husband. He managed to get her down in the basket so we all got a few hours sleep.

Taking each day as it comes but I hope that we can try to continue this. I'm still going to try and see a breastfeeding clinic tomorrow to hopefully sort out what I think might be a latch problem. Really wish I had smaller boob$!

Again massive thank you to all of you

You don't need to wake her to feed her, just pick her up and feed her. It's called 'dreamfeeding' and she won't even realise she's doing it. Dreamfeed before you go to bed, and that should give you a couple of hours.

notanewuser

CathG78 wrote: »

As for the moses basket - my daughter HATED hers and refused to sleep in it. I didn't bother buying one for my son. If your baby prefers to sleep in the car seat, on the floor, in a crib, in a cot or on a washing line, then just follow his/her lead. The most important thing is that you get some sleep, not where that sleep is. As long as s/he is safe then it's all an option. My brother's baby only slept in his pram. So that's where he slept.

Extremely dangerous advice there. Babies should not be regularly sleeping in car seats.

fawd1

Bennifred wrote: »

I recommend buying a baby lambskin for the baby to sleep on. I didn't have one for my first (cost!), but bought one for my second and it was an absolute godsend. He'd sleep anywhere as long as he had his "lamby". Did the same with the same outcome for my third.

I know they say it's ok if the baby is on their back, but I wouldn't risk having a lambskin or sheepskin as they are proven contributors to cot death. Sorry to say but thought it's worth mentioning, especially bad for them if they sleep on their front, which was the only position my eldest son would actually sleep in. Well worth researching it first.

[Deleted User]

I had two children and was amazed how the second one was so different to the first one. It was like being a first time mum all over again lol. First one still didn't sleep through the night at 8 years in spite of my best efforts. Second one slept through at 6 weeks most of the time, but if he did wake up.., no one was going to be able to go back to sleep!

Neither of my children liked moses baskets.., I had to put them into a cot.

I wanted so much to breast feed (and had largish breasts like you which I suspect didn't help, even if I expressed first) but neither baby seemed to be able to latch on whatever I did. If they did, they quickly came off again. So not much milk of any sort going where it was needed.

As my second baby was ill at first, and I wasn't going to be allowed to leave the hospital until my baby was putting on weight, a nurse did have a quiet word saying that breast is best but in this case maybe it might be better to consider bottle feeding. So reluctantly, I did, little and often and he didn't look back. I would still far rather have breast fed, but sometimes it just doesn't work. I wish it had, but the other option doesn't seem to have caused enormous harm.