Please help a very new mum

Janepig

All I'll say is that although mine are now older (8 and 11) and the awful early days are a dim and distant memory, it's sufficient to make me never even feel remotely broody when I see a newborn. I'd never want to have to go through it all again, I like my sleep too much (and my two were pretty good sleepers).

What got me through was the thought that when they're 18+ and out on the lash, I'll be not sleeping again but it'll be because I'll be worried sick about whether they'll get home okay and what state they'll be in. The thought of that made propping my eyelids open with matchsticks at 3am soothing a yelling newborn bareable. At least they were safe and I had control of them. Not looking forward to when they're out in the big bad world!!!

Jx

notanewuser

hp3 wrote: »

I am trying to put basic routines in place for her but letting her take the lead. .

There's absolutely no need to be thinking about routines at 3 weeks (or in my experience 3 months or even 3 years).

Think of it as a babymoon - you're supposed to be relaxing and getting to know each other.

Kynthia

hawk30 wrote: »

I was told this only last year, as were my friends, so I thought it was standard advice now. If you let the babies go too long without feeding it can affect their blood sugar balance or can cause dehydration. Newborns can be quite sleepy at first and don't always wake to feed when they should.

My 7 NCT friends and I weren't told it this year, until 2 developed jaundice. Babies are designed to wake regularly, and to wake you regularly, to ensure they feed often enough. However conditions like Jaundice affect this so you then the 3 hourly advice is given instead of the feed on demand advice.

palmreader

Hi, everyone:) I just hope, I am not too late sharing my experience about being a first time mom. I can relate to this thing, I also had a worrying habit of not having to sleep for several hours just to keep awake for my first born child. However, She's now all grown up. Getting back to that situation, I think it is natural to feel that way. However, my piece of advice is to let your child sleep beside you, by this way, it will make you feel comfortable about your baby:)

Littke1devil

Oh I feel your pain sound like my first! She was a nightmare! Poor bub was colicy and we pushed on with breast feeding for a week including feeding expressing topping up with formula etc before I had the strength to say enough is enough I was determined to feed myself and I was just stressing myself out with it popped her on formula and haven't looked back she is now a healthy incredibly bright 2 year old. This time round ( due in march) I'm not going to stress with it all haven't ruled out feeding my self but if it doesn't work he will be straight on bottles.

Keep going with the Moses basket my little one didn't like it but slept in a rocking crib fine pm if you need to chat x

lidlest

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

Think it is all par for the course here and being a new mum you may feel overwhelmed but it will get easier, Routine is the best thing and keep trying to put her in the basket to sleep.


I also believe it is better to carry on as normal around a baby ie:- hovering, tv on and so on, It will get easier so don't panic.

This, routine is a definite yes, my third and last is now 3 months and the following are useful tips.

- v shaped pillow, babies love a bit of support, I know you can buy those expensive ergonomic mattress things but a v shaped pillow works so well until they get too figity. Imagine going from screwed up and supported at all times to what seems like no support at all.

Ditto a swaddle - God send
Ewen The dream sheep, may not seem too useful at first but brilliant once they associate the noise with sleep.

Also research the 4th trimester, may help you feel less helpless to understand this is normal. (Ps it gets easier once your milk comes in fully )

Good luck
X

lidlest

notanewuser wrote: »

There's absolutely no need to be thinking about routines at 3 weeks (or in my experience 3 months or even 3 years).

Think of it as a babymoon - you're supposed to be relaxing and getting to know each other.

When I say I agree with routines I don't mean being stiff with timings, but offering cues to aid transitions is really helpful for you (keeps you structured and feeling useful) and babies when they are a bit older

SunnyCyprus

McKneff wrote: »

I can only agree with most of what has been said above but please, babies of that age don't have
likes and dislikes.


They cry because they are hungry, or wet and uncomfortable.


They haven't got the capacity to think 'I don't lke this Moses basket. Persevere because baby will be warmer and protected from draughts and cold air.


Your milk should be coming through by now so you should get a few hours sleep in one go.


It does get better, the bad times come back for a while once they hit the age of 14 lol.


Relax and enjoy.


Have a look for a book called 'The Human Ape' its fascinating.

Totally agree!! My DD has just turned 14 and I would gladly go through newborn-six months rather than deal with teens!


It will get easier, you will find ways to do things that make you and baby happy.
and Cabbage leaves really do work if you have sore breasts, 1 leaf inside each bra cup, seems odd but feels great!
x

RockPaperScissors

Hi View & everyone else!

I'm a bit late to the party and technically not a parent yet (I'm due next Monday eeek) but in case this is of use:

I have been seeing a private midwife and she said sometimes new babies may have had a nerve trapped or something displaced "on exit" and that often if you take them to a newborn cranial osteopath they may find that something just needs altering very slightly and they will suddenly be much happier and can even feed easier.

This actually happened with my cousin when she was born about 18 years ago - she couldn't be put down and was really struggling with feeding so my aunty took her to an osteo and after two very short sessions she was like a new baby! Something had been displaced just very slightly in the back of the neck during birth (quite standard apparently and often not spotted). Instantly she settled and fed really well.

Just a thought

Hope things get easier for everyone soon - I'm sure I'll be in the same boat in a week or two! xx

RockPaperScissors

Person_one wrote: »

Holy ****! :eek::eek:

What kind of midwife would peddle this tosh? They're supposed to practice evidence based care!

What on Earth would a 'cranial osteopath' do to a fragile newborn in order to 'alter' their nervous system and why would any parent agree to let them do it if they believed what they were being told?

I would hope the 'osteopaths' are just selling placebos and don't actually do anything to the baby, but still...

I'm not sure they "do" anything to "alter" their nervous system as such - from what I've been told by others that have had it for their newborns (including my aunty) was that they just used a very very light massage on the baby where it was needed.

I'm no expert though - just something I've heard a lot of good things about.