bad neighbours threatening my health

G_M

You both hate th place, and th people downstairs - you are desperately unhappy. So

* mad to even think about buying it
* mad to consider staying there

So.... you have to move. Once you've made that decision, the question is where?

The trouble with this issue is that there are actually two seperate, but related issues: the housing problem and your marrige. If husband is so insensitive to your unhappiness, then do you really want to stay with him. Obviously no one here can answer that or advise, but it affects the housing decision:

* move into private rented as a family
* you and child move in with friend - if husband uncooperative
* you and child move elsewhere as sigle mum

if leaving husband, get support, financial and practical, from relevant supprt groups. Try the 'marriage relationships family' forum.

System

I have to agree with the 2 posts above and many other posts in the thread. You need to get yourself and your son out of the environment you currently find yourself in. If owning the place is more important to your husband than you and your sons health then its unbelievable.

I'm really sorry to hear about the troubles you're going through but if you don't have to go through it and have an option to leave then leave. Life is too short to be unhappy!

It's easy for your husband to say suck it up and just get on with your own life when he is barely home anyway?

It's making you ill, scaring your child while your husband is being a child himself.

Get out of there. Snap your friends hand off. If your husband cares for you and your child he will do right by you. If he doesn't then he's not worth it.

Take care x

adouglasmhor

Lookingforcalm2 wrote: »

Hi thanks for your reply,

Truth is we have complained about these neighbours, it's difficult as we are living in a converted house, them at the bottom and us at the top, so when I make complaints they know it's me.

A few days after we moved in the 'boyfriend' neighbour told me that they had evicted previous tenets because of noise and disrespect they caused, he said they had evicted two in a row. And that he hope he won't have problems with us.
But it was the other way round within the first week they left the teenage daughter in charge while they were out for the night and they had a huge party, it was a disaster because they began fighting so I called police, the police came and followed through. The next thing is the 'girlfriend' neighbour shouting at me, she was not pleased police were called and has given me hell since.

The other complaints I made were the fights in the street, all her cats, the kids in poor condition, drug taking and smoking weed, bad language, cat food and litter tray being dumped in the garden....I could go on.

Each time I complain the problems with the neighbours were getting worse but nothing seemed to be done about them.
From my complaints the results I've had are

RSPCA removing some of the cats
Social worker involved with children
PCSO comes around twice a day
Police car to drive around the road between 6-8 pm

I have been told the council make visits with the neighbours and there is either 'no further action' or I get a phone call to say they spoke to them.

Sometimes they complain about us after I made a complaint and it all turns very childish to the pont where I can't be bothered.

So I've had results from my complaints but now everything just gets logged, last night they smoked weed and had people round and I reported this in the morning...but nothing will be done.

My husband is wanting to buy the flat with assistance and has sought out the information he needs. But his idea is to sub let this flat once brought and for us to move somewhere else, but I can't wait for this I need to move now. Right now I don't really know how this will all work out.

After I graduate next year I'm hoping to stay in at my current placement as full time (in a sector of children's services and health)
And will finally have a professional position, when we lost our flat I was full time student not contributing at all, my husband lost his business due to a dispute but is currently working full time, he hopes to open another but that's in the future but he says according to finances at the time of buying this flat we will be in a position to do so (sorry if that doesn't make sense)

In the meantime I am struggling and so is our son. I think we will move, and I think my husband can stay in this flat because we can't put our health and well being last before his choices.

Good luck with you husband's money making scheme. I am not happy to subsidize it but I am not getting the choice.

ruggedtoast

Your husband wants to wait 3 more years to buy a flat above nightmare neighbours so he can wait 5 more years to try and sell a flat above nightmare neighbours. Unless its in Pimlico I would suggest it's not worth it.

Like Errata said in the meantime you have complained so you have all the aggro, but told the council not to do anything, and its far from clear you would get another mortgage.

Just move, far away. If your husband wont agree to that I am afraid he is as much a part of the problem as your downstairs neighbours. Your health, happiness, childs health and happiness and both of your studies are not worth risking.

In the meantime do call the police if you are threatened, complain to the LA, and involve the school if your kid is being bullied.

Angelicdevil

thesaint wrote: »

Please do not follow the "advice" above.
You will open yourself up to a world of hurt(and waste police time).

thesaint, it is "bread and butter", the police are there to help people.

Smoking cannabis is illegal.

Possession of Cannabis can land you with up to 5 years in prison or an unlimited fine or both. It is a class B drug.

The police will be interested but depending on where you live (London esp) there may not be enough coppers to deal with the issue.

Your neighbourhood policing team (NPT) would most likely be the ones to go round, have a friendly chat to start and escalate from there if required.

The police will not turn up on the offending neighbours doorstep and say "oh yeh mate, your neighbours at number X reported you".

Plus there is a new act (antisocial behaviour, crime and policing act 2014) that was brought in last month to help prevent and deal with antisocial behaviour, of which drug taking is one of the listed behaviours.

thesaint

Angelicdevil wrote: »

thesaint, it is "bread and butter", the police are there to help people.

Smoking cannabis is illegal.

Possession of Cannabis can land you with up to 5 years in prison or an unlimited fine or both. It is a class B drug.

The police will be interested but depending on where you live (London esp) there may not be enough coppers to deal with the issue.

Your neighbourhood policing team (NPT) would most likely be the ones to go round, have a friendly chat to start and escalate from there if required.

The police will not turn up on the offending neighbours doorstep and say "oh yeh mate, your neighbours at number X reported you".

Plus there is a new act (antisocial behaviour, crime and policing act 2014) that was brought in last month to help prevent and deal with antisocial behaviour, of which drug taking is one of the listed behaviours.

That sounds fantastic.
I await the OP updating the thread on how it went.

SamDunham

thesaint wrote: »

That sounds fantastic.
I await the OP updating the thread on how it went.

Angelicdevil wrote: »

thesaint, it is "bread and butter", the police are there to help people.

Smoking cannabis is illegal.

Possession of Cannabis can land you with up to 5 years in prison or an unlimited fine or both. It is a class B drug.

The police will be interested but depending on where you live (London esp) there may not be enough coppers to deal with the issue.

Your neighbourhood policing team (NPT) would most likely be the ones to go round, have a friendly chat to start and escalate from there if required.

The police will not turn up on the offending neighbours doorstep and say "oh yeh mate, your neighbours at number X reported you".

Plus there is a new act (antisocial behaviour, crime and policing act 2014) that was brought in last month to help prevent and deal with antisocial behaviour, of which drug taking is one of the listed behaviours.

I've got to say although smoking/possessing/selling cannabis may be illegal, the police (where I live at least) are not in the slightest bit interested. Our neighbours happily sat on the grass in front of our flats smoking and selling pot. Police couldn't care less. They even advised us not to make a formal complaint as the neighbours would likely cause us more problems.


Lookingforcalm, I think some really relevant points have been made, like: if you've had credit problems you might not get a mortgage, if you do you won't want to live there, neither will anybody else so it'll be hard to sell. I hope your husband starts to see how it's affecting you and your son and offers some practical support - like helping you find somewhere healthier and calmer to live. Really, really hope you get sorted soon. Know how stressful it is x

mrxry

SamDunham wrote: »

I've got to say although smoking/possessing/selling cannabis may be illegal, the police (where I live at least) are not in the slightest bit interested. Our neighbours happily sat on the grass in front of our flats smoking and selling pot. Police couldn't care less. They even advised us not to make a formal complaint as the neighbours would likely cause us more problems.


Lookingforcalm, I think some really relevant points have been made, like: if you've had credit problems you might not get a mortgage, if you do you won't want to live there, neither will anybody else so it'll be hard to sell. I hope your husband starts to see how it's affecting you and your son and offers some practical support - like helping you find somewhere healthier and calmer to live. Really, really hope you get sorted soon. Know how stressful it is x

The police only care if its a easy conviction, i.e had a friend caught with a tiny bit of leftover roll up and he was innocently walking to get a take away and police just happened to stop him, found it on him and arrested him, though these are the same police who were in local news for low conviction rates so they just wanted a easy arrest.

Errata

It's a sorry state of affairs when a man values a property above his family, and laughable when he thinks he'll find a lender willing to offer him a mortgage on it.

Lookingforcalm

Just a quick reply, I'm in my phone.
I have read all your messages and thank you.
I have a few thoughts...
I try and transfer via LA I read the critera on the bidding system and it seems I may have medical priority but I need evidence so I'm hoping a letter from my doctor will help. And maybe I'll get more points for the anti social behaviour, I'm thinking of reopening my case with shelter and having them contact the LA.
I report the drug use and make a diary or events.
Next is moving out
I will try and talk my husband around slowly this time.

My anxiety has been so bad today, it didn't help I worked 9-5 my mind was racing all day, I got home and my neighbours were smoking weed, I could even smell it in the kitchen, so I grabbed a bag and went straight to the gym.