bad neighbours threatening my health

Lookingforcalm

We talked, he said no I'm devastated.

[Deleted User]

I am very sorry. I can understand why you feel devastated.

I would advise you to leave the thinking about this until you are in a calm more settled atmosphere. Start sorting your move to the attic (as long as this is going to work for you). Once you are more settled, and have a bit of space from your present situation you should find you can think more clearly and start deciding on what comes next. If your husband won't come, that's his decision.., you see things differently(understandably) and need to do what you feel is right.

seven-day-weekend

I can understand in a way why he doesn't want to give the flat up (secure tenancy), but you also can't go on living like that and more importantly, neither can your son.

No secure tenancy is worth his anguish or distress.

Maybe if you stressed how it is affecting your son's health and well-being your husband would be more understanding?

However, living in private rental brings its own set of stresses. It's not an easy problem to resolve.

Maybe try a mutual exchange, if you can get someone to swap with you who is like your husband and can ignore the neighbours?

Lookingforcalm

He's concerned I'm splitting us up, that although it's my friend she does rent out her house so therefore she wants deposit and rent in advance-he asked me where is this coming from?

He said we can't afford to private rent and he would not be staying 3 nights with us and 4 here.

I am upset but I need another plan, either I keep talking him around and possibly stressing us both out or I look to transfer. To transfer I think I'm going to need as much evidence as possible this place affects my health and sons.
I know a letter from my doctor might help and I should take up her offer of counciling.
What else could I use to help us transfer? A list of my complaints from the LA ? I've never spoken to the PCSO but it would sound good to get her involved.

Thanks everyone for advice, it really means a lot to me

Mortgage_Mark_2

Maybe explain that his thought process of "I can buy a home again" such a short time after having a place repossessed will be incredibly difficult!!

He will struggle like mad to be able to get a mortgage on that basis if he's had a property repossessed in the recent past!

No offence, but your husband sounds like a total tool.

Hopefully this all works out well for you and your son; that's the most important thing. Ultimately if you don't feel safe or comfortable - get out.

AdrianC

Lookingforcalm wrote: »

He said we can't afford to private rent

Then point out to him that, if that's so, you CERTAINLY can't afford to own.

Lookingforcalm

AdrianC wrote: »

Then point out to him that, if that's so, you CERTAINLY can't afford to own.

He's getting at not saving money to own by privately renting it will be a chunk out of our finances

Pixie5740

Lookingforcalm wrote: »

He's getting at not saving money to own by privately renting it will be a chunk out of our finances

I understand that your husband is thinking that by staying in the council property he is earning a discount whilst paying rent but with a private rental you need to pay rent and save money for a deposit. However, he needs a serious reality check. What's the point of owning your own home if you are absolutely miserable there? In the future, who would want to buy such a property if the neighbours are this bad? I bet that if he goes ahead with his plan he'll end up owning an absolute turkey that he can't get rid of, not to mention that you will probably leave him to protect your mental health and the mental health of your son.

Don't give into his emotional blackmail. You are not splitting you up, his selfish actions are what will lead to the disintegration of this marriage unless he puts the wellbeing of you and your son above home ownership.

There's no shame in renting. Sure there are some cons but there are pros too. Being able to up and move away from horrendous neighbours with relative ease being one of them.

KevInChester

I'll be blunt, the neighbours need a good kicking, and your husband sounds like an idiot. Snap your friends hands off and move in to hers! If he wants to get on the property ladder he should do so off his own back and not off you and your sons misery.

bouicca21

To be blunt, a husband who treats you like this is not worth keeping. His attitude is abusive. He is blaming you for splitting you up? How about he looks into his own conscience and realises he is driving you out.