Did I crossed the invisible line?

yvonne13_2

Yesterday I was talking to a male co-worker that I get on quite well with and for some reason I asked him for his mobile number and he gave it to me. I also have other male/female co-workers numbers, albeit the other males are single. It never occurred to me that I was being inappropriate as he has a partner.

Anyway today I was talking to one of my other male co-workers and he made me feel like I crossed the invisible line.

We did text a few jokes back and forth at work and that's it nothing after work and certainly no phone calls were made.

So my question is:
Is it only okay to swap co-workers numbers if their male and single? It doesn't seem to be an issue if I have a females number and she has a partner so I'm not sure.

barbiedoll

Of course it's ok to have a co-worker's phone number if he is "attached"! It's only not ok if you got it by subterfuge or if you intend to send naughty pics of yourself! :rotfl:

Don't listen to other people's opinions about how you should behave around co-workers, it's no-one else's business. I had several numbers of attached, male co-workers on my phone (back in the days when I used to work with men) and it was either to swap jokes or for when we were going on a work night out and had arranged to meet up, we would text each other to arrange cabs etc. They would often text me to make sure that I had got home ok, and so on. All of the partners knew about it (I assume!) and one of my colleagues was forever forgetting to charge his phone and had to use mine to call his girlfriend. She called me a couple of times when she couldn't get hold of him. It's not a big deal, honestly!

dirty_magic

My OH has lots of female colleagues numbers, it doesn't bother me! I think this is about more than the number, maybe your other colleague thinks you're getting on a bit too well.

There's usually a couple people gossip about in an office I think, someone has to provide the entertainment!

Pollycat

You said for 'some reason' you asked for his mobile number'.

What WAS that reason?

WHY did you ask for his number?

Any

Eh? Why would it be "off"? I have all the numbers of my close colleagues, attached or not.. mostly the offered them up, sometimes I offer mine first.
This person who made you feel like it is not on, could they be in any way jealous?
Because this is funny comment..

jaylee3

Pollycat wrote: »

You said for 'some reason' you asked for his mobile number'.

What WAS that reason?

WHY did you ask for his number?

I wondered that too.

What do you need this man's number for? Do you need to contact him outside of work for anything? Do you do anything outside of work with him? You say you have loads of the other male colleagues numbers. Why?

How old are you? Maybe it's a generational thing. I am late 30s and have NO mobile phone numbers of men that I am not related to. Several of my nieces have every boy's number that they know though. Then again, like many in their generation, they are always on their bloomin' phone, and talk to people more via text than in real life!

So I am not sure what answer to give as to whether it's appropriate or not.

yvonne13_2

I didn't need his number I just asked for it.

I honestly didn't see any harm.

McKneff

So why did you ask for it ????


Why did you want it.....

Georgiegirl256

yvonne13 wrote: »

So my question is:
Is it only okay to swap co-workers numbers if their male and single? It doesn't seem to be an issue if I have a females number and she has a partner so I'm not sure.

Well it wouldn't be would it? There's a lot less chance of anything untoward going on between you and the female and you and a married/partnered up male.

I swapped numbers with a couple of the men at work, but two of them were my bosses, and we only ever sent texts regarding work/work trips and work nights out....in other words work related.

So the question is, if it wasn't a work related reason you wanted it, then why did you want it?

All I can say is that if my husband was giving put his number just because some woman was asking for it, then I wouldn't be happy and would wonder what she was after.

Flossie.

This ^^^

Although I do wonder (as jaylee said) how old the OP is, as if she is say under 21, then it's probably quite common for everyone to have everyone else's mobile phone number. If she is a slightly older age group (30 plus say,) then I find it a little bit more odd.

Although I do agree Georgie, that if some woman at work wanted MY husband's number, and was texting him back and forth; like you, I would also not be happy about it. And he would not be if it was me, (with a man.) and the situation was reversed.

yvonne13_2

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Well it wouldn't be would it? There's a lot less chance of anything untoward going on between you and the female and you and a married/partnered up male.

I swapped numbers with a couple of the men at work, but two of them were my bosses, and we only ever sent texts regarding work/work trips and work nights out....in other words work related.

So the question is, if it wasn't a work related reason you wanted it, then why did you want it?

All I can say is that if my husband was giving put his number just because some woman was asking for it, then I wouldn't be happy and would wonder what she was after.

Don't you mean you would be wondering why he gave it out in the first place.