Feeling Bad For Being Ungrateful But Still What A Waste

DFlights

Oh dear, I think I'd feel the same - plus, I'd constantly worry that he'd spent too much on me when things are a bit tight around here at the mo!

I can certainly relate to the underwear horrors, though! Only recently, my OH bought me a one-piece thing - I honestly can't think of another word to use for it - and the only thing I found remotely nice about it was the colour (deep purple). Other than that, it just wasn't suited to me - I'm a size 20, FGS it would have looked like a whale wrapped up in a Cadbury's wrapper! And bizarrely, it had an elasticated waist - definitely a no-no for me! Add to that, that I have enough body image issues as it is, trying this on (when he wasn't around, so he couldn't see my reaction) I felt utterly dreadful wearing it.

The blooming thing got put back inside its plastic bag and left on his chest of drawers, and disappeared after a few days. I was waiting for him to bring it up, coward that I am, so that I could also do the polite explanation as to why, even though I do really appreciate the thought, that particular piece of lingerie wasn't for me.

Thank goodness he's not tried anything like that since!

Although it's my strong belief that some men buy us ladies clothes they'd like to see us in, not necessarily items we'd choose for ourselves.

Flossie.

DFlights wrote: »

Oh dear, I think I'd feel the same - plus, I'd constantly worry that he'd spent too much on me when things are a bit tight around here at the mo!

I can certainly relate to the underwear horrors, though! Only recently, my OH bought me a one-piece thing - I honestly can't think of another word to use for it - and the only thing I found remotely nice about it was the colour (deep purple). Other than that, it just wasn't suited to me - I'm a size 20, FGS it would have looked like a whale wrapped up in a Cadbury's wrapper! And bizarrely, it had an elasticated waist - definitely a no-no for me! Add to that, that I have enough body image issues as it is, trying this on (when he wasn't around, so he couldn't see my reaction) I felt utterly dreadful wearing it.

The blooming thing got put back inside its plastic bag and left on his chest of drawers, and disappeared after a few days. I was waiting for him to bring it up, coward that I am, so that I could also do the polite explanation as to why, even though I do really appreciate the thought, that particular piece of lingerie wasn't for me.

Thank goodness he's not tried anything like that since!

Although it's my strong belief that some men buy us ladies clothes they'd like to see us in, not necessarily items we'd choose for ourselves.

:rotfl::rotfl::T

Lily-Rose_3

DFlights wrote: »

Oh dear, I think I'd feel the same - plus, I'd constantly worry that he'd spent too much on me when things are a bit tight around here at the mo!

I can certainly relate to the underwear horrors, though! Only recently, my OH bought me a one-piece thing - I honestly can't think of another word to use for it - and the only thing I found remotely nice about it was the colour (deep purple). Other than that, it just wasn't suited to me - I'm a size 20, FGS it would have looked like a whale wrapped up in a Cadbury's wrapper! And bizarrely, it had an elasticated waist - definitely a no-no for me! Add to that, that I have enough body image issues as it is, trying this on (when he wasn't around, so he couldn't see my reaction) I felt utterly dreadful wearing it.

The blooming thing got put back inside its plastic bag and left on his chest of drawers, and disappeared after a few days. I was waiting for him to bring it up, coward that I am, so that I could also do the polite explanation as to why, even though I do really appreciate the thought, that particular piece of lingerie wasn't for me.

Thank goodness he's not tried anything like that since!

Although it's my strong belief that some men buy us ladies clothes they'd like to see us in, not necessarily items we'd choose for ourselves.

Can we see a pic of it?

Also, I agree with your last paragraph. My husband (some years back when when we were around 40,) used to say he would like me to wear skirts and dresses more often, and high stilettoes. (Like I did when we met in our mid 20s...)

Errr, how about NO. I can barely WALK in stilettoes these days, and only wore them between around 16/17 and 26/27, and I feel uncomfortable in skirts and dresses, as I am chubby, and feel like they make me look fatter. I have seen pics of me in a skirt, and a dress, AND in slacks/trousers/jeans, and I look much better in the trousers or jeans.

He even offered to buy me a dress about 7 years ago. I said 'buy what you want sonny jim, but I ain't gonna be wearing it!'

It got annoying. I don't tell him or 'advise' him what to wear, and go buying stuff for him that *I* think he should be wearing! After about 2 or 3 years of doing this, he gave up.

Soleil_lune

DFlights wrote: »

I can certainly relate to the underwear horrors, though! Only recently, my OH bought me a one-piece thing - I honestly can't think of another word to use for it - and the only thing I found remotely nice about it was the colour (deep purple). Other than that, it just wasn't suited to me - I'm a size 20, FGS it would have looked like a whale wrapped up in a Cadbury's wrapper! And bizarrely, it had an elasticated waist - definitely a no-no for me! .

What an image. :rotfl:

You poor thing!

System

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I think there is a huge difference between going on and on and 'doing nothing but moaning about it', and clearly, pleasantly explaining you really appreciate the kindness and thought but this gift is totally 'not you' for whatever reason.
Good honest communication, if done respectfully is always a plus for a relationship IMO.

Too right. My own husband knows I am a white gold sort of woman and wouldn't dream of buying me anything in yellow gold cause he knows I wouldn't wear it.

valk_scot

AmyTurtle wrote: »

Last year for my birthday OH bought me a £90 set of hair wavers - I have naturally wavy hair and the woman on the box looked exactly like my hair when I leave it to dry naturally, which I always do. I got him to return it and buy me a spade, fork and walk in plastic greenhouse instead!

When my OH asked what I wanted for a significant birthday last year I told him, a new shed. I was quite serious, we've got a big garden and I wanted one of these sheds with a little porch on the front and sun doors etc. He went on and on about how he couldn't buy me a shed, how about a ring (never wear them, not even my wedding ring) or necklace (nope) or....? Finally it was my sister that told him to give up, shut up and buy the shed. I was dead happy, it's just what I always wanted.


ETA: He likes it too btw, barely got him out of it last summer! Nice place to sit of an evening, on the porch bit. Incidentally he also got me a very simple gold chain necklace, not expensive, that I really rather like and do wear. So we were both happy.

Happier_Me

snowleopard61 wrote: »

Just to demonstrate how much I'm not a 'handbag' woman, when I read 'Paddington bag', this is roughly what I pictured:

Me too!.

I was that intrigued I had to do a google search for this bag and there are definitely no bears involved.

I think its great that your partner is prepared to buy you nice presents but it's certainly time to set some limits on spending.

It could be worse OP. The first present my DH bought me was for my birthday - it was a plastic car tax disc holder that he stuck to the bottom of an empty TV box. You would think his choice in presents couldn't deteriorate any further but 18 years on and he regularly manages to reset the bar lower.

rosie51

Whilst it's nice to have a expensive designer bag, I myself would rather give that sort of money to the Sally Army and Blue Cross. We try to support them as much as possible.
To us expensive gifts are a turn of,f not that we could afford them anyway. Beside our two charities the best Xmas gift would be world peace. Xmas has lost it's true meaning, it is just about what I want want want but that is todays world.

bexxie90

snowleopard61 wrote: »

Just to demonstrate how much I'm not a 'handbag' woman, when I read 'Paddington bag', this is roughly what I pictured:

Would have preferred that lol.

barbiedoll

Happier_Me wrote: »

It could be worse OP. The first present my DH bought me was for my birthday - it was a plastic car tax disc holder that he stuck to the bottom of an empty TV box. You would think his choice in presents couldn't deteriorate any further but 18 years on and he regularly manages to reset the bar lower.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

He sounds even worse than my brother who once bought me a home-made wine kit, because "You like wine"

I like cars but I don't want to build one myself! :rotfl: