Feeling Bad For Being Ungrateful But Still What A Waste

Faith177

I know I'm going to come across awful here but I need to get this off my chest

It's mine and OHs 6 year anniversary of when we went on our first date we always observe it with a few presents and a card anyway this year OH has kept saying he doesn't know what to get me despite me saying about several albums I want DVDs ect

So today I get an email asking if I'm ok with one big present for anniversary and Christmas so I said of course. Next thing my mum is emailing telling me he had sent her a picture of a bag he is thinking of getting me and wanted her opinion and she'll send it over anyway it takes for ever for me to get the email and in the mean time he rings her and she said yes ill like it

Now comes the ungrateful bit depending on the size this bag is £250-299!!!! and to be honest it's ok but nothing I would go crazy over tbh the photo makes it look a bit chavtastic.

He only brought me a new DKNY handbag last Christmas and it's still perfect I can't see why he thought it was a good idea to !!!! that amount of money away.

The whole thing smacks of panic buying and just buying something way ott so that I'm so "blown away" by it

I know most women would love that much being spent but I'm really not and I can't say anything as he will be really hurt but I just can't seem to get anything together so that I can give him the reaction he thinks I'll have

Sorry for boring you all it just doesn't help that it's money I know he can't really afford it's nice and all that but it looks like something you could get for £10 in primark. If he was going to spend that stupid amount of money I would have preferred something I actually need like a new phone or a laptop anything but a bloody bag

Guest101

Faith177 wrote: »

I know I'm going to come across awful here but I need to get this off my chest

It's mine and OHs 6 year anniversary of when we went on our first date we always observe it with a few presents and a card anyway this year OH has kept saying he doesn't know what to get me despite me saying about several albums I want DVDs ect

So today I get an email asking if I'm ok with one big present for anniversary and Christmas so I said of course. Next thing my mum is emailing telling me he had sent her a picture of a bag he is thinking of getting me and wanted her opinion and she'll send it over anyway it takes for ever for me to get the email and in the mean time he rings her and she said yes ill like it

Now comes the ungrateful bit depending on the size this bag is £250-299!!!! and to be honest it's ok but nothing I would go crazy over tbh the photo makes it look a bit chavtastic.

He only brought me a new DKNY handbag last Christmas and it's still perfect I can't see why he thought it was a good idea to !!!! that amount of money away.

The whole thing smacks of panic buying and just buying something way ott so that I'm so "blown away" by it

I know most women would love that much being spent but I'm really not and I can't say anything as he will be really hurt but I just can't seem to get anything together so that I can give him the reaction he thinks I'll have

Sorry for boring you all it just doesn't help that it's money I know he can't really afford it's nice and all that but it looks like something you could get for £10 in primark. If he was going to spend that stupid amount of money I would have preferred something I actually need like a new phone or a laptop anything but a bloody bag

The way we get around this is my oh creates an amazon wish list, and I pick from that. She doesn't know exactly what she'll get but knows it's sonething she'll want

And I ask for a PS4, because well I'm 28 and male

Bennifred

Has he already bought the bag? If not, can you not say that your Mum has let the cat out of the bag (ha!) and much as you love him for the thought, you don't want him spending that much money on you?

If he's already bought it, tell him that you love him for the thought, but that you love the one he bought you previously so much that you don't need another - and get him to return it.

Lay it on thick about how much you love the thought........:)

Faith177

Guest101 wrote: »

The way we get around this is my oh creates an amazon wish list, and I pick from that. She doesn't know exactly what she'll get but knows it's sonething she'll want

And I ask for a PS4, because well I'm 28 and male

I have a wish list but he's left it so late he had to buy something on the hop

Only on Saturday I told him I wanted a stitch toy from the Disney store £20 problem solved lol

PenguinOfDeath

Did it fall off the back of a lorry?

Torry_Quine

I have to agree with you here. That's a huge amount to spend even for a joint present and my husband would be in trouble if he sent that much. Couldn't you get your mum to say something to him, maybe that the bag from last year is still doing well.

Faith177

Bennifred wrote: »

Has he already bought the bag? If not, can you not say that your Mum has let the cat out of the bag (ha!) and much as you love him for the thought, you don't want him spending that much money on you?

If he's already bought it, tell him that you love him for the thought, but that you love the one he bought you previously so much that you don't need another - and get him to return it.

Lay it on thick about how much you love the thought........:)

I don't want him to know he can't trust my mum it's a very handy thing to find out what he's planning when he is being guarded

He's already brought it it's waiting for me when I get home

He told me he had got me something but that it was non refundable (I don't know how true that is)

Faith177

PenguinOfDeath wrote: »

Did it fall off the back of a lorry?

I wish! I think it's from either JL, Debs or HOF judging by the photo

lostinrates

In the future is there any chance of setting a price limit for gifts?

Or a ' buy my something for a tenner and let's shop together' kind of present?

Claire_A87

Not relevant to the advice...but do you have a link? I think we'd all like to see!

For the record, I don't think you're coming off as massively ungrateful. He's spent a lot of money on something you don't need or want as a grand gesture, which is a lovely thought but could have gone towards better things. As Bennifred said, maybe keep laying it thick on the 'lovely thought' thing.

Errata

Sounds like the handbag version of scarlet undies for Valentines Day. Poor you - ask him for the receipt and do the obvious;)